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Jan 15, 2016
I really tried, you
guys. There was even a 20% period when my standards were reduced so low
from the previous 70%, that I thought maybe, maybe 2*. But the last 10%
was offensive. Yes, I said offensive.
Review later. And by review, I mean bitch rant fest.
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People keep asking me how I didn’t like this book. Honestly, I want to ask them how they did.
Never have I ever read a book by such a clueless, air-headed author.
And I actually don’t even mean that to be mean, or to pick on KH. It’s just
I really
tried, you guys. There was even a 20% period when my standards were
reduced so low from the previous 70%, that I thought maybe, maybe 2*.
But the last 10% was offensive. Yes, I said offensive.
Review later. And by review, I mean bitch rant fest.
---------
People keep asking me how I didn’t like this book. Honestly, I want to ask them how they did.
Never have I ever read a book by such a clueless, air-headed author.
And
I actually don’t even mean that to be mean, or to pick on KH. It’s just
that quite frankly, those are the truest words to describe what was
obviously in Hannah’s mind when she wrote this book: nothing.
She
forgets what she writes a chapter, a page, a paragraph, hell, in a few
instances, even one sentence, earlier. Examples? Mais oui, but of
course!
1. She forgets to age characters (this in the first
chapter. Isabelle is 4 and Vianne is 14 when their mother dies. Vianne
is taken crying to Le Jardin and falls in love. At 16, she’s pregnant,
at 17 she has a miscarriage. Then, of her miscarriage, Hannah writes:
“She’d crawled into her grief and cocooned it around her, unable to care
about anyone or anything—certainly not a needy, wailing
four-year-old-sister.â€)
2. She forgets the weather. Isabelle
treks out of the house pre-dawn in “knee-deep snow†and then steals a
bicycle that same morning from an SS officer who is across the street in
a cafe. Okay, so I’m from Ottawa, which in 2015 was the coldest capital
ON EARTH. I’ll PRETEND you can actually ride a bicycle in “knee-deepâ€
snow (you can’t). But Isabelle takes the bike straight to Henri’s
apartment to hide it—I’m sorry but TRACKS?!?!?! The SS officer will walk
out of the cafe, see the missing bike…and see tire marks that lead
straight to the French Resistance headquarters. Or do you want to tell
me people were plowing the streets in this village of a 1000 people?!
3.
She forgets the season. Winter temperatures Isabelle climbs over a
rose-covered wall. WHICH, to be fair to Hannah, I live in Tuscany, where
roses do grow on some mild winter days. But roses certainly are not
growing in Carriveau in the wintertime because...
4. She forgets
CLIMATE. Again, I’m from Ottawa. Hannah’s descriptions of this French
winter in her imaginary town in the Loire Valley seem to be inspired by
the Arctic Tundra, because she’s got (wait for it, ARE YOU READY?)
knee-deep snow, hail, ice rain, sleet, frosted windows, “ice-sheened
glass†and “frost-limned windowsâ€, “she didn’t want to go out into the
cold white world again … she stepped over the threshold … and out into
the snowstormâ€, “Bending forward, angling into the wind, she trudged
through the wet, heavy snow … hit the ground, cracked her head on the
snow-covered stepâ€.
5. She forgets where her characters are
placed (in one instance, Vianne exits her bedroom in the middle of the
night to write down the Jewish children’s names on the kitchen table,
then finishes her job, leans back, thinks about her own kids for a
bit…then reaches out and strokes her sleeping children’s heads, then
cuddles in bed with them).
6. She forgets when characters have no
money. Vianne stuffs newspaper print in her coat for extra warmth and
gets a tin can of oil in the queue…but has money to just hop on a train
to see Isabelle in prison. Forget the permits she would need since by
then ALL OF FRANCE was occupied.
She also doesn’t seem to understand the definition of several key words in her novel: refugee, garden, village, poor.
REFUGEE:
is
NOT
local inhabitants of a city under attack fleeing to distant
relatives in the countryside or neighboring towns, or lodging in hotels
in the countryside or neighboring towns. I also took a lot of issue with
how Hannah describes these fleeing locals.
1.
Chaos. Dust. Crowds. The street was a living, breathing dragon of
humanity, inching forward, wheezing dirt, honking horns; people yelling
for help, babies crying, and the smell of sweat heavy in the air.
2. like flotsam in the reeds of a muddy river
3.
Like a thousand-legged centipede, the crowd moved forward into the
great hall. [Side rant: as for this “thousand-legged centipede†does she
perhaps mean a MILLIPEDE?!]
4. The refugees who had arrived
before her would have moved through the town like locusts, buying every
foodstuff on the shelves.
5. clothes so tattered and patched she
was reminded of the war refugees who’d so recently shuffled through
Paris, hoarding cigarettes and bits of paper and empty bottles, begging
for change or help. [Isabelle, when meeting Gaetan—notice how she’s not
part of these “war refugees†even though SHE WAS.]
6. There were
dozens of people in her yard; mostly women and children, moving like a
pack of hungry wolves. Their voices melded into a single desperate
growl.
7. The crowd surged around him like water around a rock
Notice
how they’re all…not human? Lumped into a collective beast (a dragon,
rushing water, millipede, pack of growling, hungry wolves) that is THE
REFUGEES? But what’s more sickening about all of this is that Isabelle
was part of them, and yet never once does Hannah include her in these
ominous descriptions of (dun dun dun dunnnnn) THE REFUGEES. Instead, she
was getting kissed by the handsome Gaetan, because she’s above the
smelliness of refugee status, apparently. Also, we’re reminded three times throughout the book that “the refugees†broke Vianne’s gate. This kind of language that dehumanizes refugees needs to stop.
GARDEN:
Le Jardin is supposedly a garden, and literally means “The Gardenâ€
in French. But this “garden†is a fucking farm because in a 1940 French
village it has chickens, rabbits (both plural), a stone wall covering
all of it, a BARN with a car inside it, and ANOTHER cellar, a hill with a
“hillside between the garden and the barn†and is so big that Isabelle
can come in the middle of the night with three communists and move the
car in the barn and hide a dead body and Vianne, inside at home, HEARS
NOTHING. More implausible still, even after the wall was torn down, not
ONE of the poor, starving French people broke in to steal her fruits,
vegetables, and live stock.
VILLAGE:
This village of 1000 people has Nazis, SS, and Gestapo, and a networked train system.
POOR (Part I):
Seriously guys, what class were these people? Farmers? Because they
own a farm. Village people? Nope, because they have expensive
silverware, Limoges plates, Alençon lace, original impressionist
paintings, and a spare bedroom. Let’s break down the math. Isabelle is
19 in 1939. She is 10 years younger than Vianne. So Vianne was born in
approx. 1910. Which means…despite a dead mother, a drunk absent father
throughout her entire life, growing up in WWI, living through the GREAT
DEPRESSION that followed, getting pregnant at 16 (and going to
university while pregnant, according to Hannah) miraculously her and her
parents had money (they live in a house a mile away from a village of
1000 people, keep in mind), for a car and to put both girls in
university. A car, a property with an acre of land, university for both
daughters—I mean, I’m jealous here in 2016. Isabelle is bilingual, and
knows how to drive a car, and is 19 years old and still in boarding schools in 1940 France, LEARNING TO CUT AN ORANGE.
I just can’t stress the time period enough. Getting kicked out, no
less, for failing to learn how to cut an orange. At 19. So then who
taught her English, if her school was so worthless? I doubt it was her
dead mother or absent father. To say nothing of the fact that back then
at 19 you should be married.
POOR (Part II):
During the war, they were eating cats and rats. People were
stealing bread. There was nothing. Salt was precious as gold and used
for preserving food, NEVER for seasoning it. Some examples of starvation
during wartime poverty in this book:
1. but what
about the coming winter? How could Sophie stay healthy without meat or
milk or cheese? [Because bread, vegetables, and fruits were in abundance
in wartime winters]
2. She had sold off her family’s treasures
one by one: a painting to feed the rabbits and chickens through the
winter [EAT. THE FUCKING. RABBITS. This is Europe in the 1940s for
fuck’s sake. Eat the goddamn rabbits.]
3. Moments later, she
carried out a heavy ceramic tray bearing the fried fish surrounded by
the pan-roasted vegetables and preserved lemons, all of it enhanced with
fresh parsley. The tangy, lemony sauce in the bottom of the pan,
swimming with crusty brown bits, could have benefited from butter, but
still it smelled heavenly. [Wartime poverty equals no butter, got it.]
3.
“There is no food here in the city, Isabelle ... People are raising
Guinea pigs for food. You will be more comfortable in the country, where
there are gardens.†[As long as you have a garden, you’re fine.]
4.
Vianne began finely chopping the mutton. She added a precious egg to
the mix, and stale bread, then seasoned it with salt and pepper.
This
book read more like a Mediterranean slim fast diet and a vintage
fashion catalog than anything else. Other than Hannah constantly saying
how much they were losing weight and starving and going without, I would
never have known. Take away her adjectives like stale and precious, and
it’s fucking gourmet.
If this book wasn’t so heavily inspired by
Andrée De Jongh, I might not be so harsh on it. But it is. So, yes, a
woman who WAS a war hero, after working for the Red Cross, who set up
the Comet Line with her father, went to a concentration camp,
survived—for Hannah to sentimentalise her life the way she did, it IS
offensive. By focusing so heavily on Isabelle’s beauty, and having
Isabelle’s beauty be the reason she so easily slides past the Nazis
(even Isabelle admits this!), Hannah is actually ROBBING De Jongh of her
strength, courage, power, heroism.
And I have a bone to pick
with Hannah: the real Andrée De Jongh was not blond. I find it wrong
for a blond American author to take a real woman, change her short curly
black hair and add long blond hair instead (hair so pretty when Beck
comments on it, SHE CUTS IT OFF), and then start saying she’s
“impossibly beautiful.†Especially in a book about WWII, where Hitler
was prejudiced to anyone who was not of blond hair, blue eyed Aryan
race. What the hell?!?!
This book is no more historical
fiction than Disney is a true retelling of the Brothers Grimm stories.
Which gets even WORSE when you start looking at what Hannah opted to
change from the real De Jongh. No mention of a spouse, in later life or
during the war effort, is mentioned for De Jongh. She survived the
concentration camp and lived until she was 90. She began establishing
the Comet Line after she first worked in the Red Cross (ie, she didn’t
scribble a V on a poster and hand out fliers and BAM, hiked Pyrenees).
In contrast, Hannah gives Isabelle daddy issues, has her begin working
for the rebels to impress a love interest, then has her die contentedly
in her lover’s arms. What’s so astounding and disturbing is that all
the things that Hannah changed about De Jongh, were the things that made
De Jongh strong, powerful, resilient, caring, heroic.
Then there is the writing style.
The
number of times that Hannah repeated the same mediocre turn of phrase
had me feeling like she was just enamored with her own writing. Which
was sad, because the oft-repeated turns of phrase were mediocre at best,
rendered embarrassing after, oh, the fifth time. How many times does a
car horn “aah-oo-gah� How many times do characters note the black
markings on the wall where pictures used to hang? Hint: one time too
many. How many times is something “was all she could say� (Seven times
too many. Note to Hannah: if that’s all a character says, it goes
without saying that that’s all she could say.) How many times do people
“tent†their hands over their eyes?
The French words peppering
this novel were the most generic one word expressions (oui, merde) that
felt like Hannah couldn't be bothered to consult a French editor so she
stuck with the most basic words. Merde is not the go-to French cuss
either. Nor is it especially not the ONLY French cuss word either.
Similes
that mix senses abound — “roses tumbling like laughter†is just ONE
example. Clouds are stretched tight as clotheslines — it goes on. The
result was, for me, a very cartoonish book with clothesline-hanger
clouds (complete with clothes flapping), laughing roses, and a Roger
Rabbit cameo every time a horn “aah-oo-gahsâ€. And, in fact, Hannah
thought her little aah-oo-gah was so clever that she even turned it, in
one instance, into a verb. Aah-oo-gahed.
I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried, you guys.
Think that’s not so bad? In the middle of a detailed rape scene, we have, ladies and gents, He kicked the door shut with his booted foot and then shoved her up against the wall. She made an ooph as she hit.
This
is exactly the kind of sentimental, senseless, ridiculous, bullshit
chick-lit writing that is PRECISELY why men make fun of chick-lit, and
what basically sets feminism back about a leap year or three.
Then
there was what I can only describe as empty calorie description. The
only flowers Hannah seems to know of are jasmines and roses. Every time
there is a group of people, a baby wails and women cry/scream. Every.
Bloody. Time.
Vianne sat down beside Sophie. She
thought about their old life—laughter, kisses, family suppers, Christmas
mornings, lost baby teeth, first words.
This is a generic description of motherhood that I, a non-mother, could have come up with.
I
could go on about the idyllic descriptions of France in WWII. All I’ll
say is seriously, just pick up a vintage hat catalogue and French
magazine and you’ve got the best of KH’s The Nightingale. We’re talking
picnics with checkered blankets, brimmed hats, aprons, pencil skirts,
berets. The book was a fashion show, really. The anachronisms were so
bad too that it felt like watching a shoddily done play where the only
thing historical is the fashion. (Expressions like “I’m pretty sure†and
“bombed the hell out of†make appearances.)
Am I being too
harsh? I could just be a little pissed of still from the fucking
bullshit that was the last two chapters of this trash book.
SO
this book is about two polar opposite sisters in Nazi-occupied France.
Sounds brilliant! Except it has fuck all to do with sisters. It’s all
romance. All the book does is romanticise war. You might be thinking,
but come on, what’s wrong with adding romance in a war story?
Honestly? NOTHING.
So
why am I complaining that this is “romanticized� Because Hannah uses
war and tragedy in SERVICE of a romance. It’s a backdrop, a pretty set,
for a romance to play out, just like the 5,000,000,055 references to
clothes, hats, and valises. Hannah even uses a real women , a real war hero, to service her love story.
Is this book really about two sisters learning to love each other? I wish.
Isabelle
puts not just her sister but also her NIECE in jeopardy by bringing the
downed airman into the barn. She escapes, Vianne stays behind. What
happens when Isabelle receives a letter saying that Vianne has a new
Nazi billeting with her? This:
Vianne was fine—she
had been released after questioning—but another soldier, or soldiers,
was billeted there. She crumpled the paper and tossed it in the fire.
She didn’t know whether to be relieved or more worried. Instinctively,
her gaze sought out Gaetan, who was watching her as he spoke to an
airman.
And then a page of her unrequited love for Gaetan. That, you guys, is all the passing thought she gives to her sister.
Have
you guys heard this famous quote by Winnie the Pooh? “Always remember:
you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than
you think.†Well, have you also heard the modernized tumblr version?
It’s the same, but with “and twice as beautiful as you ever imagined.â€
That last addition is usually written in bigger text or italicized for
emphasis. I’m going to quote someone else now who analyzed it first:
Why did girls feel like something was missing from that quote in its original form? … Because the message that we constantly receive is that girls are not valuable without beauty.
Brave, strong, and smart are NOT enough for women—they must be beautiful, too.
Why is this related to The Nightingale? Because of THIS:
1. “[Gaetan] won’t think I’m pretty anymore.â€
2. Vianne kissed [Isabelle’s] cheek. “You’re beautiful,†she said.
3.
When he drew back, he stared down at her and the love in her eyes
burned away everything bad; it was just them again, Gaetan and Isabelle,
somehow falling in love in a world at war. “You’re as beautiful as I
remember,†he said.
4. It didn’t matter that she was broken and ugly and sick. He loved her and she loved him.
Then in the last chapter, Vianne:
1. “I thought she was reckless and irresponsible and almost too beautiful to look at.â€
2. “Isabelle Rossignol died both a hero and a woman in love.â€
According
to Hannah, it isn’t that Isabelle survived the concentration camps and
is a war hero that matters. What matters is that she came back STILL
BEAUTIFUL.
Yes, I do realise that she was bald and had
malnutrition, weighed eighty pounds, had typhus and pneumonia and was
coughing blood. I do realise that Hannah was saying that, despite all
that, she was beautiful. Which at face value seems like a terrific
message to send out.
But more important than her dying a war
hero, was that she died a woman in love. Because that’s Vianne’s final
thought, the final thing about her sister at the speech at the end. That
she died a woman in love. Not, as Hannah tried to pretend, after seeing
a free France and being part of the resistance. In the camp, Isabelle
“had to stay alive long enough to see an Allied victory and a free
France.†But she does see a free France... and still her life is not
“enough.†In fact, she wanders out in the rain because “Gaetan promised
to find me after the war was over ... I need to get to Paris so he can
find me.†Her life becomes “enough†when Gaetan appears.
Why
isn’t it enough that Isabelle is a war hero? That she was brave? Smart?
Strong? Here’s a radical feminist thought: why can’t we, as women, just
leave beauty out of the equation entirely? Even if she was a pretty
woman, why does it need to be mentioned? And at every page, too?
Which brings me back to that Winnie the Pooh quote. For women, to be brave, strong, and smart, it is not enough.
Because Isabelle was exactly all three of those things.
And let me ask Hannah the same question she asked in the book.
“You should take a break, maybe. Let someone else do your mountain trips.â€
[Isabelle]
gave [her father] a pointed look. Did people say things like this to
men? Women were integral to the Resistance. Why couldn’t men see that?
Yeah, Hannah? Well, do people say “He died both a hero and a man in love�
I think not.
Let it be enough that she was a war hero, please.
...more