4.42/5
Author: John Gottman, Gottman Ph.D.Julie Schwartz
Publication Date: Feb 2, 2016
Formats: PDF,Hardcover,Kindle,Audible Audiobook,MP3 CD,Paperback
Rating: 4.42/5 out of 1108
Publisher: Rodale Books
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Mar 09, 2018
Yeah, I laughed when my mother recommended this book to me. It does sound pretty sleazy. But my mother probably has a stronger opinion about quality than I do. There had to be something here, or she wouldn't recommend it.Jan 27, 2016
I love the Gottman's. I've trained with them. I am enamored by them. But this book? Basic and a bit silly. I was hoping for more. I suppose you could say this is geared/written for the average layman who knows nothing at all about women - it may actually work for that particular population. After all, the things that the Gottmans are writing about (along with two other scholars that are in much smaller print on the front cover), I found myself nodding my head and totally agreeing many times. One I love the Gottman's. I've trained with them. I am enamored by them. But this book? Basic and a bit silly. I was hoping for more. I suppose you could say this is geared/written for the average layman who knows nothing at all about women - it may actually work for that particular population. After all, the things that the Gottmans are writing about (along with two other scholars that are in much smaller print on the front cover), I found myself nodding my head and totally agreeing many times. One thing did get me however, in which they express a very definitive sentence that states that "people don't change." That threw me. Pretty sure I disagree, in some sense. I mean why write a book like this at all if you're going to say that? Well, two things got me, I guess. They also call men Heros or Zeros. Thus, you are a hero if you do all these things and you are a Zero if you do another set of things - there is even a cheat sheet for each chapter that explains which category you may be in. Not sure, if I was a dude, I would be pumped up to learn from a list that made me one extreme or the other. I think this was just a futile attempt to make some money, and sucker that I am, I gave them mine, so it worked. Will I recommend it to clients? I'm not sure - I can't say it would be in my top ten and, even then, I may only recommend a few sections. ...moreMay 16, 2016
I'm a big fan of the Gottmans both as a clinician myself and as an individual invested in maintaining strong personal relationships. While this book is obviously geared toward men, I found it very validating to read as a woman. The Gottmans really know their stuff and know how to tailor it to their audience. The book is rich with findings from various studies that helps to buttress their central concepts but is also written in a language that is particularly clear and linear(hence why it is so I'm a big fan of the Gottmans both as a clinician myself and as an individual invested in maintaining strong personal relationships. While this book is obviously geared toward men, I found it very validating to read as a woman. The Gottmans really know their stuff and know how to tailor it to their audience. The book is rich with findings from various studies that helps to buttress their central concepts but is also written in a language that is particularly clear and linear(hence why it is so palatable for the average man.) It's also written in a very easy-to-read fashion with a lot of humor and a few insightful and relevant cartoons. The book is broken into clearly defined sections with chapters and there are cheat sheets at the end of every chapter reiterated the primary take-aways for each chapter. Overall, the book is both a quick and pleasant read and filled with pertinent research and conclusions.Feb 13, 2016
one of the best i books have read about how to approach women to how really satisfy her in bedJuly 24, 2016
Read the book from cover to cover. Most of the advice are for men already in a relationship. Just about one chapter for single man on how to get a woman. But overall, I am more conscious about women's point of view after reading it. EDIT. Read it twice. All the knowledge and advices from the book won't matter if you don't have a woman.July 27, 2016
I have read a lot of relationship books and after a while they start to sound the same. This book however, actually taught me several things no other book has. I highly recommend it!April 26, 2019
Read the book from cover to cover. Most of the advice are for men already in a relationship. Just about one chapter for single man on how to get a woman. But overall, I am more conscious about women's point of view after reading it. EDIT. Read it twice. All the knowledge and advices from the book wo...Full ReviewJune 29, 2018
there is too much things u should learn about ur partner and this book will give u a lot of cluesMar 11, 2017
I give this book 5 stars for the relationship advice; it's well researched. I love well researched advice because it works! If you've read anything by the Gottmans, Sue Johnson, or have learned about attachment theory, the main premise of the book will be familiar to you: Turn towards your partner instead of away from them.Apr 26, 2017
One of the best books i read this year!! Simple language, good scientific information backed by researchers, and free of gimmicky tips and tricks. Its really simple guide (written for men heavily) on how to run a good relationship. highlighting the most common problems from a man prospective and how to solve it.Mar 06, 2018
When this book was added to our book swap pile, I picked it up with the sole intention of doing a hate read for it. The chapter titles were horrendous, and scanning the pages, the content looked completely ridiculous and patronizing.Jul 06, 2018
I probably should have read this years ago. I say this as a father of three, having gone through multiple relationships and a marriage. A quick read with practical tips that make sense to me, both in retrospect and going forward. The book is most focused on the traditional committed heterosexual relationship, but I believe could be read more generally. Summary: undivided attention and trustworthiness.Mar 04, 2016
Really easy reading in a perfectly packaged book. The graphics were interesting and it was all very digestible. Definitely recommend to men AND women.Aug 08, 2019
I knew most of the books content already because of being married. However, I like this advice the authors gave, when you (male) are in an argument take at least a 20 min break and do something meaningless to diffuse the flooded hormones. If more time is needed relay that to your wife, until you are in a peaceful state to talk about the situation.Feb 14, 2016
I had hoped this book would be a good one for counseling couples preparing for marriage. I will stick with Gottman's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work for that. But this could be the perfect book for a college age male. A good gift for a son.Jan 14, 2017
A must read to be the husband your wife needsMar 05, 2016
Funny enough, my husband read this book when I brought it home; I never picked it up.Oct 24, 2016
The authors have years of experience in helping people in relationships and this shows with how easily they tackle serious issues that can occur when two people decide to enter into the great unknown of relationships.Mar 02, 2017
I read this book, despite the title and somewhat concerning comments here and there in articles for it, because I'd seen and liked some of Gottman's other work and thought it interesting and insightful. I shouldn't have. The articles about the book which saw it as having a slightly sexist overtone if anything underplayed that tone in the book; it might be the most blatantly sexist book I've ever read. It's chock full of generalizations and stereotypes about how men and women work and how I read this book, despite the title and somewhat concerning comments here and there in articles for it, because I'd seen and liked some of Gottman's other work and thought it interesting and insightful. I shouldn't have. The articles about the book which saw it as having a slightly sexist overtone if anything underplayed that tone in the book; it might be the most blatantly sexist book I've ever read. It's chock full of generalizations and stereotypes about how men and women work and how fundamentally different they are, and the interspersing of scientific study anecdotes starts to feel like a thin veneer over a very archaic view of relationships and the world. The perspectives on men alone were downright insulting, assuming us to all be effectively socially ignorant cavemen. On top of that, the vast majority of the "advice" within it is a mixture of very basic elementary relationship advice intermixed with the kind of comments that would fit better in those magazines in the grocery store checkout aisle than a book that purports to be a serious work. There are a handful of genuinely interesting and thoughtful comments or suggestions intermixed with these as well, but they're rare enough and small enough to not be worth the rest.Nov 16, 2019
Should be mandatory reading in high school, would have saved me a lot of time. Touches all bases of relationship briefly, but deep enough to give you the right basics to build upon.Dec 20, 2018
thought-provoking!Mar 31, 2017
This may be slightly embarrassing to admit, but I found it very instructive about me... For example... I'm not a shopper (so that chapter wasn't fun) but the chapter on why women need other women as friends was fascinating! So was the chapter on conflict and how female brains work. The chapter on body image (and the actual numbers!) made me furious. But really-- can't the media just give it a rest? And can't we, as consumers, refuse to buy into their propaganda?Sep 09, 2018
It's the first Gottman's book I read. At the beginning I was skeptical about a book that promised to make you better understand women, as I thought it would be pure stereotype. Sometimes it might seem like it is, but mostly it's very good advice that applies to most. And you are emphatically warned that every person is different and you must observe your particular case.Apr 04, 2018
A well written book with examples and stories any man can relate too. I was so amazed by this book I read it in about 4 hours. I enjoyed the occasional humor. The authors present their case with well researched facts and real life stories. The book covers pretty much every situation you've ever found yourself in or will in the future from dating to conflicts to having children. Recommendations are provided in the form of "Cheat Sheets." As you read through and finish a chapter, you will find A well written book with examples and stories any man can relate too. I was so amazed by this book I read it in about 4 hours. I enjoyed the occasional humor. The authors present their case with well researched facts and real life stories. The book covers pretty much every situation you've ever found yourself in or will in the future from dating to conflicts to having children. Recommendations are provided in the form of "Cheat Sheets." As you read through and finish a chapter, you will find moments of introspection that leave you contemplating ways to love and understanding your partner better. ...moreTake your time and choose the perfect book.
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