The Knot Bridesmaid Handbook: Help the Bride Shine Without Losing Your Mind Info

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"Will you be my bridesmaid?"
Now that you've said
"Yes!", a whole world of joys--and jobs--awaits. The Knot, the #1 source
for wedding information, has created this book to help you become a
brilliant bridesmaid—which also means a brilliant therapist,
communications coordinator, stylist, and bodyguard to the
You'll get the real deal on:
The duties:
What you need to do in the months leading up to the big celebration, and
on the big day
The parties: How to throw a fab
bachelorette and a shower the bride will always remember
How to magically ensure you'll love it as much as the bride
The other gals: How to deal with the best and worst
from your fellow maids
Sprinkled throughout are tons of bonus
pointers on how not to break the bank and the lowdown from real-life
bridesmaids before you, and their hilarious or horrifying anecdotes of
brazen brides and bridesmaids behaving badly.
The book that every
bride secretly wishes her bridesmaids would read, The Knot
Bridesmaid Handbook
is the indispensable companion for anyone who
wants to be the perfect attendant—and have fun doing it!

Average Ratings and Reviews


142 Ratings






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Reviews for The Knot Bridesmaid Handbook: Help the Bride Shine Without Losing Your Mind:


July 13, 2012

if you don't have ANY clue what goes on in a wedding...
I bought this book since I am going to be in two wedding parties next year and the 3 review given rated it quite highly. The reality of it is that this book had a couple of pointers that weren't necessarily something you would think of as a bridesmaid, but only a couple. Most of the book is just "fluff" and the book is written in a modern "chic" cutesy style... which could get annoying at times. Bottom line if you have never been to a wedding in your adult life you can glean a few things from this book, otherwise I would suggest just getting a wedding book that covers most of the basics of weddings which will help you and the bride.

I would suggest The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day for more info that will help you and make sure to check for the updated edition if you want the most current suggestions. The price is about the same and you get a lot more info that will help both you and the bride.

June 20, 2015

PLEASE do not gift this to your bridesmaids or MOH
This book should be taken with a HUGE grain of salt. Ms. Roney is a professional wedding planner, and The Knot is the leading wedding industry site. They have a vested interest in making the wedding party believe certain things are obligations. PLEASE read on.

Weddings are a huge industry, and everyone wants their share. Dress shops, shoe stores, jewelers, cosmetic technicians, hair salons....anyone who can grab a piece of the industry pie. These people have a financial interest in making the bride believe THIS! IS! THE! MOST! IMPORTANT! DAY! OF! YOUR! LIFE! and it's all about her. They want her friends to believe they're bad friends if they don't purchase matching dresses, shoes, purses, evening wraps and jewelry, and host an expensive shower and bachelorette party. See where I'm going with this?

The tradition of bridesmaids is rooted in superstition. A bride's friends accompanied her to church to protect her identity from watching demons, so they couldn't curse her marriage. Over time it evolved into a way to honor special friends and relatives - the folks you wouldn't dream of making this milestone stop in life unless they're by your side. THAT has not changed. Planning and working the wedding were the job of the bride's family - usually the parents. The wedding industry IS trying to change that by insisting that the wedding party has "duties" and jobs." (Not true, and PLEASE don't buy into it).

Bridesmaid does NOT mean "bride's maid." They are chosen - or SHOULD be - to honor special friends, not to get a free staff. God invented the professional wedding coordinator for brides who need help planning and working their weddings, since modern weddings are no longer planned by the bride's family as part of a parental duty.

PLEASE do not gift this to your wedding party. That shows up the bride as a greedy person whose friendship comes with a price tag attached: "You're a bad friend if you don't do these things for me." The title of "bridezilla" didn't come out of nowhere. Kicking a maid out of your wedding is a guaranteed way to end the friendship (and "asking her to 'step down' is just a euphemism for kicking her out. She won't be fooled, and neither will anyone else).

Showers and bachelorette parties are a GIFT, *not* a right. No one is ever entitled to have a party hosted for them at someone else's time and expense. Usually the wedding party hosts a shower, but this is certainly not REQUIRED. The guru of REAL etiquette, Judith Martin aka Miss Manners, says so as well.

Think about it: Do you want your wedding party beside you because they are your dearest friends and relatives, or to be fussed over and get free wedding workerbees? Telling a bridesmaid she has duties, and is a lousy person if she can't do all the things suggested in this book, is a good way to get everyone to decline to be in the wedding. Not everyone can do all this. A bride could end up disappointed and hurt because her friends mistakenly believe they have all these "duties" and decline her invitation to be in her wedding.

Working your wedding is not an honor to the friend. It's a convenience to the bride. A considerate bride never, never loses sight of the fact that her bridesmaids are her friends. It's great if your wedding party OFFERS to help, and it's just fine to take advantage of their offer. It's wrong to EXPECT it. Ask your fiance if you need help with the wedding. After all, you're marrying him, not your bridesmaids. Remember that anyone who is given a chore will be tied to that chore while everyone else enjoys the celebration!

Remember, the wedding industry is finished with you once your wedding is over. It can't make more money off you, so could care less if you offended your friends and trashed your relationships over the One Perfect Day they spent millions in advertising to convince you was your right

Stop and ask yourself a question: did I ask my bridesmaids to be in my wedding because I wouldn't dream of getting married unless they were standing beside me? Or did I pick them because of what I think they'll do for me?

Their real responsibility: get the dress, show up sober for the wedding and smile for pictures.

Your real responsibility: get married.

Sorry, but this is bad advice, and the etiquette advice is false. Get Miss Manners instead.

February 17, 2014

Really helpful for a 1st timer!
This book was really helpful for me as first time maid of honor. Recommend it anyone get it so that they know what they are getting themselves in to. :)

September 14, 2017

Not only am I a first-time bridesmaid but I'm the maid of honor. I've been to a total of three weddings in my life. Needless to say, I don't know much about them. This book has been INCREDIBLY helpful with calming my nerves so I can make sure my best friend has the best wedding.

December 22, 2015

Great for a first time MOH!
I'm the MOH in my best friend's wedding. This book has tons of tips and helpful advice.

March 27, 2016

Clueless Maid of Honor
I have no idea what I'm doing, but this book helped A LOT!

March 3, 2018

SO HELPFUL!! Highly suggested read for bridesmaids!!
This book is so awesome and so helpful! I’ve never been in a bridal party before but I was selected to be Maid of Honor at my best friends wedding and felt like I was being completely useless. I bought this book, read it in one day (and I’m a slow reader; it’s just a good book!) and then highlighted through it and started taking notes... since I got the book, I’ve been able to help my best friend plan so much better and I know I’ll be able to help keep her stress down on the big day; thanks to all the tips I picked up.

If you are a bridesmaid, especially the Maid of Honor - I highly suggest this book!!

April 18, 2017

But overall I highly recommend!
My little sister is getting married and as someone who isnt even close to going down that path this was extremely helpful on so many different levels. I have never been a bridesmaid or MOH before so this book has been a HUGE help -- albeit some of these 'duties' are extremely far fetched and completely dependent on your bride and how psycho she is about tradition. But overall I highly recommend!

September 26, 2010

I used this book as a gift in asking my friends and family to be in my wedding party. And it worked out great for me because I have many that live out of town or even out of state! So it made it a lot more special then just a phone call. It was also great for me because this was the first wedding in both mine and my boyfriends families in many years so it helped to clarify the duties that are involved with being a bridesmaid. I recommend this book as a gift if you are consurned your wedding party needs a little help knowing what to do!!

January 22, 2017

I am solely commenting on how my book arrived. ...
I am solely commenting on how my book arrived. My book arrived with a few folds on the right hand bottom corner.

November 17, 2013

I say its a good buy
I have read thru half of this book and so far I am a fan! It has really helped me to know what is expected of me... I know my bride is happy I know this stuff.

November 20, 2012

As the author of F@#% the Knot! How to be a Fantastic Bridesmaid When You Think 'Wedding' is a Four-Letter Word, I thought this book was cute, a little light on content and meant strictly for the girls who get super excited about party planning and weddings. I think some of the things they suggest for the bridesmaids to do are a tad over the top, but some brides expect it. If you love the idea of being a bridesmaid, this book is for you.

January 18, 2019

Would love to buy again if available! The book was as described in perfect condition! I order two others from a different person that also described the book in new condition that were very much used. This seller gets my 5 star rating very pleased.

October 12, 2017

Not Necessary, But Helpful for A First Time Bridesmaid
Not necessary, but helpful for a first time bridesmaid. Before this book, I didn't know the bridal shower was separate from the bachelorette party. Good to know. Thanks, Carley Roney~

August 12, 2017

It's has good information, but seems a little outdated in today's society. It would be nice if there wad a section for note taking.

December 27, 2018

Not for a simple wedding
Great book, however the expenses and some of the ideas are not even for a logical simple wedding.

May 31, 2018

Five Stars
Very organized planner!

January 12, 2018

Great for first time bridesmaids
As a first time bridesmaid and maid of honour I loved it. It's a great basic guide to tell you what to expect.

February 15, 2016

So...this might not be a fair review...but this book started all sorts of fights!
I ordered this for my sister/Maid of Honor as a gift. It had writing inside, and the names filled in. My sister thought she wasn't picked for things so she got very upset with me. This book cause all kinds of heartache.

September 25, 2017

Three Stars
It's a cute book, but not really as helpful as I was hoping.

January 7, 2015

Three Stars
Didn't tell me a lot that I didn't already know.

June 15, 2016

Four Stars
Good guide.

January 16, 2013

My bride is too easy to work with!
My bride has been so easy to work with that I might have been able to go without this book, but it has been helpful anyway.

December 14, 2017

MOH approved
My MOH really liked this book, says it helps keep her organized.

August 20, 2017

This book is adorable and my bridal party loved them as gifts!

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