June 4, 2013
"How to shut down your baby & sabotage breastfeeding at the same time"
book teaches parents to ignore their children's cues from infancy
through toddlerhood and try to force babies to sleep all night before
they are developmentally ready for it. It should be subtitled, "How to
Ruin Your Milk Supply." Following the tactics in this book will most
likely sabotage breastfeeding relationships and make parents wonder why
they don't know what their babies need...after learning to ignore all
their cues and teaching the babies to shut down, not calm down, from
being shaken and scared by loud noises. Here's a great review of Dr.
Karp even says, from pages 88-89: "When
you place her in the crib--swaddled and with the [white noise at the
intensity of a shower] playing--jiggle her to wake her up a tiny bit.
[....] However, if she starts crying when you wake her, pat her back
(like a tom-tom drum) or give the crib a fast, one-inch jiggle for
thirty seconds to reset the calming reflex. If she keeps fussing, pick
her up to calm her...but be sure to wake her again when you put her back
down.****I know you're probably thinking, Are you out of your mind?
There's no way I'm going to wake my sleeping baby!**** But this is one
of the most important tips I can teach you! These few seconds of drowsy
waking are essential for teaching your baby how to self-soothe. Practice
this now and I promise you that within a few weeks, you'll get a huge
reward: your little friend will become much better at getting herself
back to sleep (as long as she's not hungry or uncomfortable."
will that teach her to sleep? I wouldn't want to be woken up every time
I fall asleep with my parents, and then shaken like a martini or patted
like a drum!
Page 187 talks about the "longer and longer"
approach. "You might worry that showing your face will only make your
infant cry more. But the goal is to teach her that you love her and care
about her feelings, but that ****you've made a clear decision not to
come in and relent to her unreasonable demand. Resist the temptation to
stay too long. [...]Expect the first night to be rough. You'll have to
toughen your heart a little."****And then, because he cares more for
your neighbors than your "little friend," he says, "Warn your neighbors
about your plans, so they don't get worried and call the police! (Offer
to loan your neighbors a white noise CD to help them sleep through the
crying.)" How does the message that you love her and care about her
feelings come though if you "resist the temptation" and "harden your
Karp claims 30-40% of parents who cosleep have a problem,
which means 60%-70% DON'T have a problem. And if so many people are
cosleeping without a problem, then isn't that normal sleep? Page 137:
"Another study found that while many families loved bed-sharing, 30-40%
felt it was a problem for their child and family. They got into the
habit only because they didn't know how else to settle their infant. And
the same study found that parents who bed-shared were three times more
likely to say they had significant stress in their marriage. So feel
free to make the decision that is right for your family, but please do
For more baby-friendly and breastfeeding-supportive
information about sleep, please check out these resources and find your
local La Leche League group (by clicking "resources" on [...]
[...] by Helen Ball of ISIS & Durham U Parent Infant Sleep Lab