The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy Info

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Your doctor gives you medical advice.
Your mother buys
you baby clothes.
But who can give you the real skinny when you're
pregnant?

Your girlfriends, of course -- at least, the ones
who've been through the exhilaration and exhaustion, the agony and
ecstasy of pregnancy. Four-time delivery room veteran Vicki lovine talks
to you the way that only a best friend can-in the book that will go the
whole nine months for every mother-to-be. Here is straight talk about
those little things that are too strange or embarrassing to ask anyone
about, practical tips and hilarious takes on everything pregnant. From
learning you're expecting ("Oh my god, how do I get out of this?") to
the day your newborn arrives ("You mean I have to take the baby
home with me?"), she gives you the lowdown on:
    TYPE=DISC>
  • WHAT REALLY HAPPENS TO YOUR BODY -- from morning sickness
    to eating everything in sight, what to expect when going from being a
    babe to having one.
  • COMMON FEARS AND PARANOIA -- from turning into
    your mother to leaving the baby on the car roof, rest assured your
    anxieties are perfectly normal.
  • THE MANY MOODS OF PREGNANCY -- or
    why you're so irritable/distracted/tired/lightheaded (or at least, more
    than usual).
  • THE PREGNANCY YENTAS -- from your mom to his mom, they
    think they know everything -- and they don't hesitate to tell you what
    you're doing wrong. Girlfriend, take heart: if it's working for you,
    then you're doing just fine.
  • HOW TO HAVE SEX DURING PREGNANCY,
    SHOULD YOU SO DESIRE -- bearing in mind you'll have no interest
    afterward.
  • LOOKING AND FEELING YOUR BEST -- cautionary style tips
    from your best friend, who really would tell you if your perky
    newmom haircut makes you look like a pinheaded whale.

When
you need a reassuring voice or just a few good belly laughs, turn to
The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy.

Average Ratings and Reviews
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Reviews for The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy:

1

Jun 07, 2008

I loathe, loathe, loathe this book. I have no idea why books about pregnancy fall into either of two categories: A) motherly reassurance which makes all kinds of conservative assumptions about your life and circumstances and B) chatty, conspiratorial crap that does the same but in an even meaner more degrading manner. To whit, Ms. Iovine sees it as her duty to warn your husband (assuming you have one) that diamonds are the very best way to reward you for pushing that baby out. Her tips about I loathe, loathe, loathe this book. I have no idea why books about pregnancy fall into either of two categories: A) motherly reassurance which makes all kinds of conservative assumptions about your life and circumstances and B) chatty, conspiratorial crap that does the same but in an even meaner more degrading manner. To whit, Ms. Iovine sees it as her duty to warn your husband (assuming you have one) that diamonds are the very best way to reward you for pushing that baby out. Her tips about birth are entirely useless, mainstream crap that will essentially assure you of a medical-intervention-fest as you labor on your back with full epidural awaiting your diamond tennis bracelet. Just skip this dreadful, useless nonsense. There are far better books out there. The Thinking Woman's Guide To A Better Birth would be high on the list. ...more
1

Jan 10, 2008

This book gets one star for humor. Other than that, this book is really degrading to women who strive to have a natural childbirth. The author tries to relate to all moms but it's kind of hard to relate to her when she starts whining about her nanny not showing up one day (she's a stay at home mom).

Overall this book just rubbed me the wrong way.
2

Sep 01, 2008

Or, as my husband aptly dubbed it, "The Girlfriends' Guide to Being a Self-Indulgent Twit."

Let me start by saying that there are a couple of good things about this one.

First, it is full of the kind of anecdotes about what pregnancy is like - swollen boobs, swollen feet, hemorrhoids, how to buy maternity clothes, when to expect morning sickness to end - that previous generations got from their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, sisters, and childhood friends. In a world where many of us live hundreds Or, as my husband aptly dubbed it, "The Girlfriends' Guide to Being a Self-Indulgent Twit."

Let me start by saying that there are a couple of good things about this one.

First, it is full of the kind of anecdotes about what pregnancy is like - swollen boobs, swollen feet, hemorrhoids, how to buy maternity clothes, when to expect morning sickness to end - that previous generations got from their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, sisters, and childhood friends. In a world where many of us live hundreds or thousands of miles from the most important women in our lives, it's nice to have a reassuring compendium of all the stuff that happens, and to learn that it is completely normal.

Second, the list of what to take with you to the hospital when you go into labor looks to me to be useful and includes items I wouldn't have thought of but plan to add to my suitcase.

So why do I rate the book so low?

Well, first of all, the constant theme of "x symptom is very common and normal in pregnancy, but we don't know why - ask your doctor" is irksome. With apologies to my doctor friends, who learns anything useful from a doctor in a fifteen-minute appointment? I have learned at least nine-tenths of everything I know about my health and my body from reading books and trolling the internet, and frankly I was hoping Iovine would add to my store of knowledge instead of brushing me off. Had I bought the book instead of borrowing it from the library, I'd feel cheated out of 20 clams.

But more important, I was alarmed, rather than reassured, by Iovine's insistence that interventions like caesarians, continuous fetal heart monitors, episiotomies, and the other, frequently unnecessary torture and mutilation that obstetricians inflict on women during labor and delivery are normal and somehow OK. She seems to have confused "frequent" with normal, largely because so many of her Girlfriends (the capital G is hers) suffered these procedures. This review is not the place to go into the alarmingly high 30% caesarian rate in the US, and how appallingly it exceeds the World Health Organization's recommendation of 10% or less. (Yes, folks, that is almost 1 in 3 pregnant American women who will go under the knife.) Suffice it to say that I couldn't help wondering if Iovine's insistence that it is no big deal for a pregnant woman to gain substantially more weight than the current recommendations, or her bizarre, completely unsubstantiated opinion that pregnancy is a great excuse to avoid exercise (she seriously says this), had anything to do with the fact that apparently none of her Girlfriends-with-a-Capital-G managed to have a perfectly normal, natural delivery.

Give this one a pass - go for an informative, truly reassuring book like the classic What to Expect When You're Expecting. ...more
5

Feb 26, 2008

Hilarious! When you feel like crap and you're fed up with reading the "serious" books that have you out of your mind with worry because you feel like you have every pregnancy ailment/nightmare under the sun this book helps put things in perspective and gives you a few laughs during what could be a very hellish time in your life.
1

Jul 31, 2013

I consider this book to be extremely dangerous, and here's why.

Of course, it's always fun to read something lighthearted and entertaining, especially when you're suffering from morning sickness that extends to the afternoon, evening, night, and back again. Making light of your situation might ease the pressure for a bit. But this book's humor draws from its cynicism. And cynicism is dangerous when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth.

So many of my friends that I've spoken to have had what, after I consider this book to be extremely dangerous, and here's why.

Of course, it's always fun to read something lighthearted and entertaining, especially when you're suffering from morning sickness that extends to the afternoon, evening, night, and back again. Making light of your situation might ease the pressure for a bit. But this book's humor draws from its cynicism. And cynicism is dangerous when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth.

So many of my friends that I've spoken to have had what, after the fact, they described as 'traumatic' birth experiences. In retrospect, they all ascribe their trauma to a loss of control and a trusting in the medical professionals and their medical model of pregnancy and childbirth. Although I do have a slightly hippy side, and I do have granola on occasion, I'm not one of those off-the-deep-end flower children (with apologies to the flower children) who don't immunize their kids and who believe that sugar is the devil incarnate. (Ok, sugar isn't healthy, and I try to avoid processed sugars, but please. I'm not giving up my ice cream and chocolate. And don't tell me that frozen pureed bananas and carob taste the same. They don't.)

What I've learned is that childbirth is a challenging experience that has a HUGE impact on how people see themselves, how they feel about life, and how they feel about and relate to their children afterwards.

So many of these friends had such traumatic birthing experiences that they never even felt ok enough to speak about it until I asked them, point blank. So many women are walking around with this horrible emotional (and often also physical) baggage, when they could walk around, as I do, feeling empowered and proud. And I truly believe that being properly informed makes a huge difference.

This book, in it's cynicism, implies (and sometimes flat-out states) that labor and childbirth is going to be hard and miserable, and that it's best to sit back and let everything be handled by medical staff. To have an epidural as plan A (without mentioning that any medical intervention, very much including pain medication) raises the risk of needing other medical intervention and significantly increases the likelihood of putting the baby in distress and needing a C-section.

This book promotes ignorance and lack of responsible self-education, and pushes a victim mentality.

If this was the first, or only pregnancy book I'd read, I'd have ended up with a very different childbirth experience. I'd probably be moaning over stomach stitches rather than chirpily writing a book review while my son naps next to me.

Empowered women should reject books like this and be informed enough to grab their lives by the reins and steer. I hate this book. ...more
2

Mar 02, 2008

I'd heard nothing but wonderful things about this book, and since I'd been disappointed with several other "traditional," medically-focused pregnancy books out there, I thought I'd give this one a try.

One thing is for sure -- the book is hilarious. Laugh-out-loud funny! That's its biggest advantage.

It's not a medical book, and doesn't pretend to be. Vicki Iovine pulls no punches, which is part of the book's humor, but also what I found very off-putting about the book.

Iovine is just as I'd heard nothing but wonderful things about this book, and since I'd been disappointed with several other "traditional," medically-focused pregnancy books out there, I thought I'd give this one a try.

One thing is for sure -- the book is hilarious. Laugh-out-loud funny! That's its biggest advantage.

It's not a medical book, and doesn't pretend to be. Vicki Iovine pulls no punches, which is part of the book's humor, but also what I found very off-putting about the book.

Iovine is just as opinionated as every other mother who wants to dispense advice to wide-eyed mothers-to-be like me, and I found her tone increasingly flippant and abrasive.

Many of her philosophies didn't mesh with mine, either. She devotes several pages to flippant "reasons" (more like excuses) why a pregnant woman shouldn't exercise during pregnancy -- at least, nothing more than brisk walks around the block. She ridicules women who continue with aerobics and weight training through pregnancy, assuming that they all must be impossibly perfect Superwomen, and that if any one of them ever lost a pregnancy, they'd drive themselves crazy wondering if their exercising had anything to do with it. Nice attitude.

She also advocates the occasional alcoholic drink during pregnancy. Granted, I don't think one glass of wine is going to result in fetal alcohol syndrome, but I'd be more worried about that occasional drink doing some harm to my fetus, than I would about 15 reps of bicep curls with a 10-pound dumbbell.

Her musings about how pregnancy ruins your body forever were funny, but suddenly I found myself crying amid my laughter. This book scared the hell out of me. I detect some bitterness in Iovine, despite that great sense of humor. If you're particularly sensitive, or planning a super-healthy, remotely natural/organic pregnancy, this book is not for you.

I understand this book has gone through a new edition since I read it -- I hope Iovine has reformed her views a bit! ...more
1

Apr 21, 2008

I didn't like this book at all. Well, to be fair, I am sure there were a few little sections that were readable....but for the most part, the author was totally unrelatable to me (not that I have to be BFF’s with all of the author’s that I read – but with a book about motherhood and pregnancy, you want to feel some connection with the author). I was hoping GF’s Guide was going to be a hipper and more personal version of What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Vicki Iovine came across as very I didn't like this book at all. Well, to be fair, I am sure there were a few little sections that were readable....but for the most part, the author was totally unrelatable to me (not that I have to be BFF’s with all of the author’s that I read – but with a book about motherhood and pregnancy, you want to feel some connection with the author). I was hoping GF’s Guide was going to be a hipper and more personal version of What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Vicki Iovine came across as very shallow and self absorbed (former playboy life aside) and a little kooky (she found out she was pregnant after hurling large objects across the room at her husband). Plus she had no real information to share. It was always, “well, I am not a doctor, but my friend Sally..blah blah blah”. Seriously? Ok, you are writing a guide about pregnancy, can’t you consult with a doctor in addition to asking your LA friends – just to make sure the information you are sharing isn’t total crap? Her friends don’t come across any better than Iovine – there is even a story about one of her friends giving her hubby a BJ in the hospital room after she delivered her baby. I am an open person, but how does that information help pregnant women? And even though the book was called a guide, it was way too wordy…it was structured more like a novel – when you are pregnant, you are looking more for text reference. ...more
4

Sep 01, 2013

"Many things in live exact a toll, but they are such great experiences that we are willing to pay the price."

Ah, the moral of the story.

Well, baby, you better be @$&*%ing awesome after all the mess this book and many others tell me I'll endure. xoxoxo
3

Aug 03, 2007

Vicki Iovine rather revels in her status as a princess type, with the money, the manicures, the jewelry, etc., but even if you can't quite relate, this book is a refreshing change from the bulk of pregnancy advice books that tend to the natural-granola-woo-woo-power of womanhood vibe (and don't get me wrong, I'm all in favor of getting all woo-woo with your pregnancy and baby). It's funny, and it speaks to you if you're the kind of person who, while cooing over your new baby in the hospital, Vicki Iovine rather revels in her status as a princess type, with the money, the manicures, the jewelry, etc., but even if you can't quite relate, this book is a refreshing change from the bulk of pregnancy advice books that tend to the natural-granola-woo-woo-power of womanhood vibe (and don't get me wrong, I'm all in favor of getting all woo-woo with your pregnancy and baby). It's funny, and it speaks to you if you're the kind of person who, while cooing over your new baby in the hospital, might still want to put on a little lipstick before anyone starts taking pictures. ...more
1

Jul 03, 2012

This book was recommended to me by so many women, but I can't for the life of me understand why. I found it to be much too snarky and whiny and it spent much too much time drumming into you how crazy you are to ruin your body with pregnancy and how uncomfortable and horrible it is. It gets one star because parts of it were funny.

Also, if you are planning on having a natural childbirth, definitely skip it. She talks constantly about how great epidurals are and if you don't want one, you are nuts. This book was recommended to me by so many women, but I can't for the life of me understand why. I found it to be much too snarky and whiny and it spent much too much time drumming into you how crazy you are to ruin your body with pregnancy and how uncomfortable and horrible it is. It gets one star because parts of it were funny.

Also, if you are planning on having a natural childbirth, definitely skip it. She talks constantly about how great epidurals are and if you don't want one, you are nuts.

It may be a break from the more medical pregnancy books, but I didn't take anything away from it that I really needed to know.

...more
4

Apr 20, 2009

Yes, I am pregnant. Due date: July 23rd. Little girl. I feel fine. Sure, I'm excited, whatever. Please don’t touch my belly. That pretty much answers pretty much every question that I have to answer 35 times a day.

So I have two main concerns about giving birth. Both involve my butt. You’d think that the actual birth canal would be a scarier thing to me, but I figure it was built for that stuff, so it’ll probably work ok.

Fear #1 Hemorrhoids. I love that the author just lays it all out. Other Yes, I am pregnant. Due date: July 23rd. Little girl. I feel fine. Sure, I'm excited, whatever. Please don’t touch my belly. That pretty much answers pretty much every question that I have to answer 35 times a day.

So I have two main concerns about giving birth. Both involve my butt. You’d think that the actual birth canal would be a scarier thing to me, but I figure it was built for that stuff, so it’ll probably work ok.

Fear #1 Hemorrhoids. I love that the author just lays it all out. Other books mention hemorrhoids and how you will likely get some and just talk to your doctor, but gives no actual details of what to expect. This lady tells what they feel like and how you know that you have them and other handy explicit details. Had she not explained it to me I swear I would have screamed and died in the bathroom first time I discovered them. For now I am enjoying my mostly hemorrhoid-free nether regions.

Fear #2. I will be trying to poop and accidentally poop out a baby while I am at work. Apparently pushing during labor feels like pushing out a bowel movement. I catch myself every once in a while doing a good push and then panicking mid-push. What if I poop my uterus right out?! I am not really worried about doing this at home, even if I am home alone. But the thought of it happening at work terrifies me. There are only 2 other women and 298 men where I work. So chances of someone finding me in the women’s bathroom are slim. I’d have to stuff my uterus and cantaloupe-sized (as of this writing) child back into my pants and hop back to my desk. Then, because everyone stops by my office to “see what I am doing” (usually ‘working’) I would have to explain it over and over. Hmmm…maybe that would get people to quick popping in to chat all the time. Oh! This has major potential!

So, I like the author of this book. She is way cooler than the other pregnancy book authors who are doctors or something official like that. She is an actual human who has carried babies and understands that sometimes you want to puke on people’s shoes or put your head right down on the keyboardddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd and take a little nap.

...more
5

May 05, 2009

Best pregnancy book EVER! I started reading "What to Expect When You are Expecting", and that book scared the crap out of me! Ever time I turned around I had some new symptom of something potentially dangerous. So, I did what any other crazy prgnant lady would do...I threw it in the trash. Hormones...what can I say. Anyway, someone gave me "The Girlfriends Guide...". I laughed so hard I peed my pants! Ok. I probably would have peed my pants anyway...but still. It was the best thing that could Best pregnancy book EVER! I started reading "What to Expect When You are Expecting", and that book scared the crap out of me! Ever time I turned around I had some new symptom of something potentially dangerous. So, I did what any other crazy prgnant lady would do...I threw it in the trash. Hormones...what can I say. Anyway, someone gave me "The Girlfriends Guide...". I laughed so hard I peed my pants! Ok. I probably would have peed my pants anyway...but still. It was the best thing that could have happend to me at the time. I needed to laugh. Any first-time mother knows how freaky and scary things get when you have a "foreign body" growning inside you! This book lets you know that you are not alone. Other women have burped, farted, and peed their way to motherhood for millions of years. I highly recommend this one as a baby shower gift! ...more
4

Jun 03, 2008

This book is hilarious. It's different from the rest of the pregnancy books I've read because it isn't just a lot of facts but speaks in a way women think, especially pregnant women. I sat in my room reading it, laughing out loud, by myself, and then also groaning out loud when I read some of the things the author is very frank about but that I don't want to be true. At least I'll know what's actually going to happen to my body! I would highly recommend it to anyone pregnant. There's even a This book is hilarious. It's different from the rest of the pregnancy books I've read because it isn't just a lot of facts but speaks in a way women think, especially pregnant women. I sat in my room reading it, laughing out loud, by myself, and then also groaning out loud when I read some of the things the author is very frank about but that I don't want to be true. At least I'll know what's actually going to happen to my body! I would highly recommend it to anyone pregnant. There's even a section for the husband to read which when you're reading it you're laughing about because it states all the things they're afraid of and gives them council on each thing, but it's hilarious because they hit every worry the man has right on the nose...it's genius. ...more
4

Dec 07, 2007

This was probably one of the best books to read right away. What to Expect scared me and bored me, at the same time. While this book uses the term "girlfriend" excessively, and though I hate the term, it's worth reading. There are quite a few things in here that aren't mentioned in other pregnancy books, and some of them are gross enough that I'm secretly hoping they just won't happen to me. If (when) they do, at least I'll know that it's normal. I'm not sure I like that the author encourages This was probably one of the best books to read right away. What to Expect scared me and bored me, at the same time. While this book uses the term "girlfriend" excessively, and though I hate the term, it's worth reading. There are quite a few things in here that aren't mentioned in other pregnancy books, and some of them are gross enough that I'm secretly hoping they just won't happen to me. If (when) they do, at least I'll know that it's normal. I'm not sure I like that the author encourages pregnant women to not exercise, but I think she was trying to say that if you're too tired all the time, not to feel guilty about it, not to purposely lay in bed all the time. ...more
5

May 29, 2007

This was honestly the BEST pregnancy book I've read. I've done the "what to expect when you're expecting" week by week review - and that's great, but I can get that information on the internet. This one was an honest to goodness conversation with a girlfriend on what it is *really* like. I loved it, I'll buy it so I have it when I do get pregnant.
3

Jun 30, 2008

I loved the idea of a book written from the experienced point of view of "girlfriends." For those of us not surrounded by friends who are also mothers, someone has to fill us in on all the little details of pregnancy. Vicki Iovine writes well and sprinkles in a good dose of humor, which is always appreciated when you're pregnant. However, I disagreed with so many of her opinions that I had a difficult time really liking the book.

1. Exercise: while she doesn't outright say you shouldn't I loved the idea of a book written from the experienced point of view of "girlfriends." For those of us not surrounded by friends who are also mothers, someone has to fill us in on all the little details of pregnancy. Vicki Iovine writes well and sprinkles in a good dose of humor, which is always appreciated when you're pregnant. However, I disagreed with so many of her opinions that I had a difficult time really liking the book.

1. Exercise: while she doesn't outright say you shouldn't exercise, she goes into such detail about why you shouldn't worry about exercising that she could easily convince you that exercising is not a good idea during pregnancy.

2. Outdated: her section on maternity clothes really cracked me up because she couldn't stop talking about stirrup pants and raiding your husband's closet for vests. She also mentions buying as much of your baby's layette used as possible, but most modern books agree that you should not buy a crib used if you can help it.

3. Losing your Body: in an attempt to really tell it like it is, I think that Vicki goes overboard when detailing the bad changes that will occur to your body. This is the first pregnancy book that actually scared me that I would forever lose my body. She basically tells you to get over the fact that you're going to lose your waist, your abs, your thighs, your bladder control, and your breasts- forever. She throws in one token sentence that says your post-pregnancy body MIGHT be better, but never the same. Instead of finding this helpful or insightful, I find it discouraging.

4. Breast Feeding: again, she didn't outright say don't breast feed, but her sarcasm regarding the subject was very negative. She even details stories of her girlfriends not breast feeding in an attempt to save their breasts, which she just goes on to say won't help since you're doomed to smaller, saggier breasts anyway.

5. Natural Birth: while I fully support every woman's right to choose which birthing plan is right for her, Vicki is clearly against woman trying the natural route. She doesn't see the merit in making it through delivery medication free and states that an epideral can't come early enough. Her attitude is, if you can do it with less pain why wouldn't you? She even supports the planned C-section for no other reason than convenience. I can't get on board with that.

6. Husbands/Partners: I feel sorry for Vicki because she portrays her husband as unhelpful, unsupportive, and unsympathetic throughout her pregnancies and deliveries. But she's quick to add not to worry if your husband/partner is unsupportive because he can still make a great father. Great. She goes on to talk about how her husband was down the hall talking with friends while she was alone in her hospital room contracting. Or my personal favorite, how he may need to be taking pictures instead of helping you through the pushing stage of delivery. I understand that there are plenty of husbands/partners out there that have trouble knowing how to support their pregnant women, but honestly, we should expect a little more out of them than Vicki does! I feel insulted on behalf of women with understanding partners and I think a lot of husbands/partners would be insulted, too.

Overall, if you really want another pregnancy book to read (and believe me, I know what it's like to want to devour every piece of writing out there on the subject) go ahead and read this one, too. But, be forewarned that you may not agree with many of her opinions and might be frightened by some of her comments. I highly recommend Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy instead! ...more
1

May 05, 2014

I wasn't going to read this book, but then it was VERY enthusiastically recommended to me by my dentist. And then my hygienist wrote a little note about how funny I would find the book, and included it in the bag with my free toothbrush and toothpaste. It was about the cutest thing ever. SO.

Good things about this book: it acknowledges that pregnancy is more than a medical event but also an entire emotional/mental/social experience. It also acknowledges that a lot of pregnancy information is more I wasn't going to read this book, but then it was VERY enthusiastically recommended to me by my dentist. And then my hygienist wrote a little note about how funny I would find the book, and included it in the bag with my free toothbrush and toothpaste. It was about the cutest thing ever. SO.

Good things about this book: it acknowledges that pregnancy is more than a medical event but also an entire emotional/mental/social experience. It also acknowledges that a lot of pregnancy information is more anecdotal than medical -- stuff you'd hear from mothers, sisters, and girlfriends -- but that nowadays a lot of people live far away from those support systems.

Bad things about the book: Turning your personal anecdotes into a general information book is sort of ...problematic. The author thinks that pregnancy sucks, that epidurals are a must-have, etc., and while that's a legitimate point of view it's not the ONLY one. Like I think this should be the Girlfriend's guide and not the Girlfriends' guide because you're really only getting one perspective. MORE PROBLEMATIC: in the exercise chapter she says that you shouldn't work out while pregnant because if something bad happened you'd always wonder if it had been your fault. I consider "Don't do (thing not associated with pregnancy loss) while pregnant because you might lose the baby and blame yourself!" to be the ultimate and most damaging form of preggo-shaming and I was horrified to see it here.

Anyways, I'm glad this book tickles the funnybone of some people, but personally I'd recommend an online due date group for sharing pregnancy anecdotes and experiences -- much more interactive, and a much greater variety of experiences. ...more
1

Feb 27, 2009

this woman was so NOT my girlfriend

spoiler alert: do not read ahead if you don't want to know what happens.


a baby comes out.


this book offered such helpful hints as: bring several pairs of throwaway socks because you'll probably bleed all over the ones you wear during labor and you'll want clean pairs. so i diligently procured several pairs of those white athletic socks, fully prepared to do my maternal duty of hemorrhaging all over my footsies. didn't happen. in fact, i couldn't tell you if i this woman was so NOT my girlfriend

spoiler alert: do not read ahead if you don't want to know what happens.


a baby comes out.


this book offered such helpful hints as: bring several pairs of throwaway socks because you'll probably bleed all over the ones you wear during labor and you'll want clean pairs. so i diligently procured several pairs of those white athletic socks, fully prepared to do my maternal duty of hemorrhaging all over my footsies. didn't happen. in fact, i couldn't tell you if i had socks on when i was pushing or not. i can only remember singing snippets of "if i were a rich man" with my doctor. true story.

iovine also warned me that i'd probably get the lucky pre-labor cleansing rituals of free pubic area shaving and a nifty enema. i was so afraid of this possibility that i contemplated holding out going to the hospital until around the point where i felt the urge to push because i thought i could avoid the whole shebang that way. again, didn't happen. they didn't even offer it, which is a pity because in my giddy state i would have probably let them do shapes or initials.

finally, the most unforgivable is iovine's description of giving birth and labor which basically was the johnnycashian warning that my vajayjay would turn into the ring of fire. again, didn't happen. back labor, however, was a total bitch.

like me. ...more
2

Mar 17, 2017

This is by far the most annoying pregnancy book I have read this far. It does provide the normal information about conception, pregnancy and delivery, but it's very one sided. I live a very natural, organic life and should just stick to the natural pregnancy books. But because I excessively buy books, I find them for $0.50 and think why not. In one chapter, the author is talking about breast stimulation as a natural way to help start labor and refers to natural pregnancy books as "crunchy". So This is by far the most annoying pregnancy book I have read this far. It does provide the normal information about conception, pregnancy and delivery, but it's very one sided. I live a very natural, organic life and should just stick to the natural pregnancy books. But because I excessively buy books, I find them for $0.50 and think why not. In one chapter, the author is talking about breast stimulation as a natural way to help start labor and refers to natural pregnancy books as "crunchy". So that was annoying. She also uses the word Girlfriend, in capitals, about 15 times per page, which is also extremely annoying.

I don't like one sided books. This book doesn't speak at all about natural birth or anything related to it. The author's writing style is obnoxious at best and overall the book is just really annoying. It does provide basic information, but this is basic information you can find in most pregnancy books and I guarantee they won't be as annoying at this one. ...more
1

Jul 31, 2007

this is one of the books i merely screened. i only read a few pages of the intro before knowing it wasn't for me. i am guessing i may turn out to be one of those fringe people who are willing to face delivery without a neonatal unit next door and a full-time anesthesiologist in residence she so easily dismisses, and though it is helpful to read various viewpoints, such an attitude is so out of line with my interests, that i think it would prove fairly useless to me.

however, it may be great for this is one of the books i merely screened. i only read a few pages of the intro before knowing it wasn't for me. i am guessing i may turn out to be one of those fringe people who are willing to face delivery without a neonatal unit next door and a full-time anesthesiologist in residence she so easily dismisses, and though it is helpful to read various viewpoints, such an attitude is so out of line with my interests, that i think it would prove fairly useless to me.

however, it may be great for others. ...more
1

May 23, 2014

I was given this as a gift which was a nice thought. But this book just bugged me. It was already getting on my nerves in the beginning with the pseudo-weird "name dropping" like "my girlfriend so and so that is an actress" and "my girlfriend so and so who is a model", but, whatever, I powered through. When I got to the part about how we aren't supposed to excercise pretty much at all ever I had to stop reading. To each their own, but I thought clearly me and this woman do not see eye to eye.
2

Jan 04, 2008

I wasn't so crazy about this book. While she provided good info & reassurance in some cases, I rolled my eyes more than a few times. I think I had a bad attitude towards Miss Vicki at chapter 8. I realize these books are based on opinion, but it was a little much to be force fed don't exercise...get an epidural & call your girlfriends...eat anything you want, you'll get fat anyway...I won't be passing it on to anyone I like :)
1

Apr 21, 2008

Yep, I'm pregnant, that's why I read it. But I kind of got the feeling that she hated her husband the whole time I was reading it, always blaming him for everything (hey, it takes two, you know!), and I happen to love my husband...
It kind of ruined the whole experience for me. Plus, my pregnancy was nothing like the stuff she described, so it wasn't that helpful. But everyone is different, so it might be a great book for other people. Who hate their husband.
4

January 7, 2013

I have have this in print: this book is funny, to the point, yet manages to tell you the things you need to know (and then some!) Definitely better than the scare tactics of "What to Expect.."
5

November 8, 2013

This is a must read, it is so funny. I hate to read and have read this book twice,I recommend this book to all my girlfriends, pregnant or not. GREAT BOOK

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