4.38

5

Jun 04, 2008

I am reading this book, and even though it is a small book, when I finish page 129, I start over again on page 1. I have been reading it for about sixteen years now, and I suspect I will continue reading it for as long as I can read. A few pages at a time is more than enough to give me something to kick around in my head for a few days or a week.

This is a book that challenges one to live up to four simple truths, and offers transformational results if one could live a life completely engaged in I am reading this book, and even though it is a small book, when I finish page 129, I start over again on page 1. I have been reading it for about sixteen years now, and I suspect I will continue reading it for as long as I can read. A few pages at a time is more than enough to give me something to kick around in my head for a few days or a week.

This is a book that challenges one to live up to four simple truths, and offers transformational results if one could live a life completely engaged in the four agreements. They are so concise that I can state them here. 1) Be impeccable with your word. 2) Don't take anything personally. 3) Don't make assumptions. 4) Always do your best. Simple huh? Track a day and see how many times you break an agreement (in your actions or your mind). To my constant amazement, I find myself stumbling over one or another of these agreements with some regularity. So it helps to remind myself by the constant reread.


I am not reading with a hope that I will attain some mystical state, but I read because I find the author's explanation of how our mind, our society, and importantly, our relationships work to be insightful, even though it is based on a paradigm that is completely outside my heritage of growing up in a small New England town. Understanding the Toltec dream metaphor is an essential part of realizing the deeper meaning driving our relationships within the world around us. Ruiz does a good job of helping these concepts become clearer.

Reading this book, I have started to formulate a good answer to a question that originally began in childhood. "What is the meaning of life?" is not a good question to be unanswered when one has piled up decades in this mortal realm. Ruiz has helped me drop many of my limited belief structures and has opened up insights into living that are valuable to young and old souls alike.

It is 2019, sixteen years after I wrote this first review, and the book is still on my nightstand by my bed. It is a good read. ...more

1

Jan 29, 2010

I was surprised. I thought I would really like this book. A friend of mine told me the basic ideas were to be impeccable with your word, don't take things personally, don't make assumptions,and always do your best. To me, these sounded great: be honest, be forgiving, give others a chance to say what they think and try your best...or so I thought!

The ideas were actually more along the lines of: don't send out poisonous words that put spells on people, don't let others poison you with their spells I was surprised. I thought I would really like this book. A friend of mine told me the basic ideas were to be impeccable with your word, don't take things personally, don't make assumptions,and always do your best. To me, these sounded great: be honest, be forgiving, give others a chance to say what they think and try your best...or so I thought!

The ideas were actually more along the lines of: don't send out poisonous words that put spells on people, don't let others poison you with their spells (pretty strange, right?), don't have expectations of others, and yes, try your best.

My husband and I were going to read this together, but by page 16 he couldn't take it anymore! I needed to read it for our book group so I continued on solo.

I found the explanations for these ideas unnecessarily described as being from black or white magic, unnecessarily loaded with examples and I felt the author was talking down to me.

Also, by far the book's biggest flaw, the information, if it hadn't been so swollen by overexplaining EVERY single concept, could have been presented in half OR LESS of the length!!!! Really, an elementary student might need all the over-simplified explanations supported by numerous examples, but even a teenager would have felt that Ruiz is beating a dead horse! (As my husband and I did by page 16!)

Another friend told me that the ideas in this book reminded her of things she's heard before and gave as an example You Are Special, a great children's book by Max Lucado. I suggest reading that instead of this book.

The book's ideas felt religious and might be okay for someone who is without religion and looking for some principles to govern their life. But, for me, as a Christian, I felt that these concepts were not only familiar but succinctly summed up in "love one another" and "try to be like Jesus."

I really didn't like the book, but I suppose that I don't have to worry about the author taking it personally! :)
...more

5

Mar 12, 2008

I'd like to propose this book as required reading for the course, Life. Make four simple agreements with yourself and living becomes so much easier, so much lighter:

1. Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own I'd like to propose this book as required reading for the course, Life. Make four simple agreements with yourself and living becomes so much easier, so much lighter:

1. Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t make assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always do your best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

What I love about this book
* It's a short, captivating read. I love the efficiency of receiving so much thought-provocation in so little time.
* The agreements are applicable to everyone, everywhere, regardless of religion, gender, age, etc.
* Stories, anecdotes and examples from various beliefs are intertwined throughout, spotlighting their common bottom lines: love, life and peace.

Possibly the most life-changing book I've ever read. No, really. See?

:) ...more

4

Dec 19, 2012

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book, Miguel Ruiz
The Four Agreements, was published in 1997 and has sold around 5.2 million copies in the U.S. and has been translated into 38 languages. The book advocates personal freedom from beliefs and agreements that we have made with ourselves and others that are creating limitation and unhappiness in our lives. The Four Agreements are: 1 - Be impeccable with your word. 2 - Don't take anything personally. 3 - The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book, Miguel Ruiz
The Four Agreements, was published in 1997 and has sold around 5.2 million copies in the U.S. and has been translated into 38 languages. The book advocates personal freedom from beliefs and agreements that we have made with ourselves and others that are creating limitation and unhappiness in our lives. The Four Agreements are: 1 - Be impeccable with your word. 2 - Don't take anything personally. 3 - Don't make assumptions. 4 - Always do your best.

عنوانها: تولتک چهار میثاق کتاب خرد رهنمودی علمی برای رسیدن به آزادی شخصی؛ چهار پیمان؛ چهار توافق؛ چهار قرارداد کتاب خرد تولتک؛ حکمت چهارگانه؛ راهنمای چهار پیمان : استفاده از چهار پیمان برای مهارت در رویارویی با زندگی؛ زندگی بر اساس خرد سرخپوستان تولتک (چهار میثاق)؛ نویسنده: دون میگوئل روئیز؛ تاریخ نخستین خوانش: روز دوم ماه دسامبر سال 2002 میلادی

عنوان: تولتک چهار میثاق کتاب خرد رهنمودی علمی برای رسیدن به آزادی شخصی؛ نویسنده: دون میگوئل روئیز؛ مترجم: نجمه عسگری تورزنی؛ تهران، نسل آفتاب، 1388؛ در 128 ص؛ شابک: 9786009114916؛ موضوع: فلسفه تولتک - راه و رسم زندگی - سده 20 م
عنوان: چهار پیمان؛ مترجم: فرزام حبیبی اصفهانی؛ تهران، چلچله، 1393، در 120 ص؛ شابک: 9789649027098؛
عنوان: چهار توافق؛ مترجم: الهام صحافی؛ تهران، سایه نیما، 1384، در 128 ص؛ شابک: 9789649559032؛
عنوان: چهار قرارداد کتاب خرد تولتک؛ مترجم: دل آرا قهرمان؛ تهران، نشر پیکان، 1380، در 130 ص؛ شابک: 9643281310؛؛ چاپهای بعدی: آسیم و ذهن آویز؛ چاپ پانزدهم تابستان 1392
عنوان: حکمت چهارگانه؛ مترجم: فریده مهدوی دامغانی؛ تهران، تیر، 1384، در 144 ص؛ شابک: 9646581420؛
عنوان: راهنمای چهار پیمان : استفاده از چهار پیمان برای مهارت در رویارویی با زندگی؛ مترجم: هنگامه آذرمی؛ تهران، کلک آزادگان، 1393، در 175 ص؛ شابک: 9789647974936؛
عنوان: زندگی بر اساس خرد سرخپوستان تولتک (چهار میثاق)؛ مترجم: فرشته جنیدی؛ تهران، تعالیم حق، 1382؛ در 171 ص، شابک: 9647047088؛
و کتاب: تمرین چهار میثاق، که آن را ادامه ی کتاب فوق دانسته اند، با ترجمه وحیده مرادی و فاطمه محمدی، تهران، سیوا، 1391، 9786009293926؛

اندیشه های مردی از تبار سرخپوستان آمریکای مرکزی، که دست کم با هفت عنوان، و مترجمین متفاوت به فارسی برگردان شده است. از قوانین شخصی، قضاوت‌های درونی، و خشونت‌هایی که نسبت به خود نشان می‌دهیم، گفتگو می‌شود و چهار پیشنهاد (میثاق) برای بهبود کیفیت زندگی و سعادت ارائه‌ میکند. میثاق نخست؛ با کلام خود گناه نکنید (به قدرتی که در کلام وجود دارد، شک نکنید). میثاق دوم؛ هیچ‌چیز را به خود نگیرید (شش روش برای ناراحتی کم‌تر از اطرافیان). میثاق سوم؛ تصورات باطل نکنید (حضور در لحظه). میثاق چهارم؛ همیشه بیشترین تلاشتان را بکنید (درس‌های نهفته در پس رویدادها). ا . شربیانی ...more

2

Jan 29, 2013

OK. So. I liked several parts of this book very much. I love that happiness is a choice. I especially appreciated reading about the third agreement: Don't Make Assumptions because communication is something I can always work on. I loved the parts about accepting and loving yourself and others. There is some amazing advise in this little book and I can see how it can be life changing for many people.

But.

I'm going to be honest and admit that Ruiz almost lost me at "Everything is God" in the OK. So. I liked several parts of this book very much. I love that happiness is a choice. I especially appreciated reading about the third agreement: Don't Make Assumptions because communication is something I can always work on. I loved the parts about accepting and loving yourself and others. There is some amazing advise in this little book and I can see how it can be life changing for many people.

But.

I'm going to be honest and admit that Ruiz almost lost me at "Everything is God" in the introduction. Even though it sounds very pretty when said by a dude made of stars and fog, "Everything is God" is a meaningless statement. That's just something people say to blow everyone's mind and make themselves appear deeper than they actually are. Believe what you like about God, but saying everything is God is just the same as saying nothing is God, in which case you ought to go ahead and say what you mean and be a respectable atheist.

He almost lost me again at the John Lennon quote, just before the beginning of Chapter One. Little known fact: John Lennon quotes are a pet peeve of mine. Who knew- right? And then again when he kept using the word "dreamy-dream-dreamer" to make everything sound super emotive and enlightened. Not that there's anything really wrong with that- just not my thing.

And I admit I was annoyed by his over-simplifications, his vagueness about the evils of "the dream of the planet" (societal expectations) and again by his many generalizations- especially about how NO ONE is free to be herself because we're ALL "domesticated" (brainwashed) by society and our parents and teachers and church leaders, ALL blind, ALL narcissists. Which, you know, isn't entirely true.

I'm certainly not a conformist, but I believe there needs to be a balance- some things you should conform to. Like not stealing. Or speeding through residential neighborhoods. Whether I'm personally feeling it or not, many societal expectations aren't relative. They're necessary. On the other hand, if by "the dream of the planet" he means cultural customs like judging people for their hairstyle or the music they like then I agree that "the dream of the planet" is bad news. See, it would be helpful if he were slightly less mysterious in his approach.

Once I managed to sort through the new-age incense and magic (Not my flavor), I actually agreed with the four agreements. Imagine that. It turns out I've heard them before from Mother Teresa, C.S. Lewis, Dr. Seuss, Steven Covey, Jesus Christ, and many others. Life is infinitely better when you're honest and courageous enough to accept yourself, communicative in your relationships, positive, open and loving, forgiving of yourself and others, and continually trying to do your best. That is how we become a happy person. That is what most religions teach. That's what most schools encourage. That's what science shows. Its no secret- its just surprisingly difficult to remember and put into practice. Props to Ruiz for reminding me of this and for writing a book to help others. While his writing style made me vomit a little in my mouth, still he meant well and has assuredly encouraged many on the path to happiness.

I would add, it is my personal belief that our reason for being- our purpose on earth is to learn to be happy. And truly happy people are always good people. Not perfect, but good. And I would add further that it stands to reason that the better a person is, the happier she becomes. Which is where religion takes the four agreements a step further, claiming that we are eternal beings and if so then we are day by day over an eternity either becoming more like God, or less like God. We are either progressing towards perfect happiness or perfect misery. Christianity also adds that we don't need to do this on our own, which idea rings true and logical and brings me comfort.

Wow. Ruiz inspired me to write my own book.








...more

5

Sep 17, 2007

This is my second time reading this book and I picked it up again because I felt I was compromising too much in my life and it was affecting my core. I have a chapter to go but here's the summary:

The book cites four agreements that, with practice, will lead you to a happier state of living, essentially and dramatically, lead you out of your living hell. The idea is focused 100% on you. You can only control yourself and only honor yourself.

1. Be impeccable with your word. Your word is your power This is my second time reading this book and I picked it up again because I felt I was compromising too much in my life and it was affecting my core. I have a chapter to go but here's the summary:

The book cites four agreements that, with practice, will lead you to a happier state of living, essentially and dramatically, lead you out of your living hell. The idea is focused 100% on you. You can only control yourself and only honor yourself.

1. Be impeccable with your word. Your word is your power to create the events in your life. It can create positive events or destructive events. Impeccable means "without sin". So the idea here is that you use your word without sin against yourself. You take responsibility for your actions but you do not judge and blame yourself. There is a big difference. And as you practice your impeccable word don't you think the very actions which might have caused you to judge and blame yourself before will decrease and it will become easier to truly know the difference between taking responsibility and punishing yourself (over and over again).

2. Don't take anything personally. Don't take compliments or insults or anything in between personally. If you know who you are and are impeccable with your word (i.e.: being yourself, not going against yourself) then you will get better and better at not allowing others to shape how you feel about yourself. This particular chapter I struggle with because I personally like to build people up by showing them how I feel about them and what I think about who they are. It is a rare thing for me to tell someone something negative unless i am trying to be a friend to help them through something and they need to hear it. However, I will re-read this to try to gain more meaning and understanding out of it.

3. Don't make assumptions. This almost requires no comment. We do this ALL the time. I know I do. You hear someone explaining their situation and as they are you are summarizing it in your own words in your head, filling in blanks because you want to have the complete picture. Except it's not the complete picture because rather than ask questions to fill in the blanks, you used your own experience and assumptions to do so.

4. Always do your best so that you will not judge and punish yourself. Do things because you want to do them and do your best, not for some reward. Enjoy your life. Live it now. And your best may not be the same every day if you're sick, tired, or you've fallen victim to beating yourself up. Doing your best means doing your best with the previous 3 agreements also and it means you may not always live up to your desire to always honor them. But it's your best so don't judge yourself. ...more

4

Jun 02, 2011

I never thought I would fall for a book by someone who would allow this picture of himself to adorn the back cover:



I can't explain it. I'm not one to be floored by silly, little self-help books full of spirituality and cliches and horrible stories and simple advice. But I was. This book might just change my life.

I'll hand the rest of this review over to David Foster Wallace:

"It seems to me that the intellectualization and aestheticizing of principles and values in this country is one of the I never thought I would fall for a book by someone who would allow this picture of himself to adorn the back cover:



I can't explain it. I'm not one to be floored by silly, little self-help books full of spirituality and cliches and horrible stories and simple advice. But I was. This book might just change my life.

I'll hand the rest of this review over to David Foster Wallace:

"It seems to me that the intellectualization and aestheticizing of principles and values in this country is one of the things that's gutted our generation. All the things that my parents said to me, like 'It's really important not to lie.' OK, check, got it. I nod at that but I really don't feel it. Until I get to be about 30 and I realize that if I lie to you, I also can't trust you. I feel that I'm in pain, I'm nervous, I'm lonely and I can't figure out why. Then I realize, 'Oh, perhaps the way to deal with this is really not to lie.' The idea that something so simple and, really, so aesthetically uninteresting -- which for me meant you pass over it for the interesting, complex stuff -- can actually be nourishing in a way that arch, meta, ironic, pomo stuff can't, that seems to me to be important. That seems to me like something our generation needs to feel." ...more

1

Aug 14, 2014

Trivial introduction to New Age ethics with a large side order of third-rate, rancid leftovers from Jean-Jacques Rousseau, all written for a third-grade reading comprehension.

Considering that the first agreement is "be impeccable with your word," it's ironic and even more horrifying that the words in this book are so lazy, careless, contradictory, infantile, incoherent, and devoid of integrity.

Miguel Ruiz thinks that the ideal human is--get this--a toddler:
If we see a child who is two or three, Trivial introduction to New Age ethics with a large side order of third-rate, rancid leftovers from Jean-Jacques Rousseau, all written for a third-grade reading comprehension.

Considering that the first agreement is "be impeccable with your word," it's ironic and even more horrifying that the words in this book are so lazy, careless, contradictory, infantile, incoherent, and devoid of integrity.

Miguel Ruiz thinks that the ideal human is--get this--a toddler:
If we see a child who is two or three, perhaps four years old, we find a free human. Why is this human free? Because this human does whatever he or she wants to do. The human is completely wild. Just like a flower, a tree, or an animal that has not been domesticated--wild!
Uh, yeah. That human also completely loses its shit if for some reason it can't keep doing what it wants, and if you were to leave it in the woods, like a flower, a tree, or an animal that has not been domesticated, it would die--like, really soon, unless it was, you know, adopted by wolves. In which case it would be useless as a human.

There's a reason people call the period of being 24 to 36 months old "the terrible twos." If you think about it, a toddler is basically "a living being who lives off of other living beings, sucking their energy without any useful contribution in return, and hurting their host little by little." Or at least, that's what toddlers would be if they didn't stop being toddlers. And that, by the way, is Don Miguel Ruiz's own definition of a parasite--but he's too dense to realize it. (And if you are inclined to protest that it's harsh to describe toddlers as as beings that suck the energy of their hosts without making a useful contribution in return, google reasons my kid is crying. )

At least the idealization of children explains the childish syntax and diction, the crudeness of the examples. This douche nozzle actually writes:
An example: I see a friend and give him an opinion that just popped into my mind. I say, "Hmmm! I see the kind of color in your face in people who are going to get cancer." If he listens to the word, and if he agrees, he will have cancer in less than one year.
How the hell does he know? Has he actually tried it? Is he such a horrible person that he would actually tell a friend that he looks like someone who's going to get cancer? I have a relative who has severe OCD related to medical issues. This person has been convinced for quite some time that they are going to get cancer, but they just keep not getting cancer, because it turns out that mere belief is not enough to give someone cancer after all. People are told all the time, "Don't smoke! Smoking gives you cancer!" And they say, "Meh. That will happen to someone else. It won't happen to me." The reason people started getting cancer from smoking in the first place isn't that they were told they would get cancer within a year; it's that smoking causes cancer. Freakin' DUH.

This book is so devoid of integrity that it even manages to make Hitler trivial and trite in ways not even the most egregious example of Godwin's Law on the internet could do. Seriously:
Take the example of Hitler. He sent out all those seeds of fear, and they grew very strong and beautifully achieved massive destruction. Seeing the awesome power of the word, we must understand what power comes out of our mouths.
The mind reels. The book manages to make evil banal in ways even Hannah Arhrendt could not have predicted.

And guess what will fix everything? TALKING MORE! TALKING BETTER!: "All human problems would be resolved if we could just have good, clear communication."

Except you know who's shitty at good, clear communication? "A child who is two or three, perhaps four years old." The "wild," "undomesticated" human that Ruiz posits as the ideal human totally sucks at the thing that Ruiz says will solve all our problems.

This would be a significant flaw if Ruiz were actually trying to formulate a sophisticated system that would offer human beings a coherent guide to ethics and behavior--if, that is, his work had any integrity. But it obviously doesn't. My guess is that Ruiz's one and only goal is to convince gullible people to buy the shit he's peddling, and he has clearly succeeded very well at that.

There is no wisdom in this book, only cheap platitudes. And if you can't recognize that The Four Agreements is full of bullshit, well, science says there's a reasonable chance that you're just not smart. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/sci... ) ...more

5

Jun 04, 2017

The Four Agreements is a simple and short presentation of some very deep wisdom. In a world filled with spiritual reading material, this one's a goodie. It just made a lot of sense to me.

These lessons come from the shaman culture of Central America. "Toltec knowledge arises from the same essential unity of truth as all the sacred esoteric traditions found around the world. Though it is not a religion, it honors all the spiritual masters who have taught on the earth. While it does embrace spirit, The Four Agreements is a simple and short presentation of some very deep wisdom. In a world filled with spiritual reading material, this one's a goodie. It just made a lot of sense to me.

These lessons come from the shaman culture of Central America. "Toltec knowledge arises from the same essential unity of truth as all the sacred esoteric traditions found around the world. Though it is not a religion, it honors all the spiritual masters who have taught on the earth. While it does embrace spirit, it is most accurately described as a way of life, distinguished by the ready accessibility of happiness and love. introduction pg x. Happiness and love! Sign up the Hippie Librarian, pronto.

The book goes on to talk about how everyone has unconscious beliefs that we pick up as children. We view and experience our world through these beliefs. Most folks aren't even aware that they have them and this causes a myriad of misunderstandings and problems: "We keep searching and searching, when everything is already within us. There is no truth to find. Wherever we turn our heads, all we see is the truth, but with the agreements and beliefs we have stored in our mind, we have no eyes for this truth. We don't see the truth because we are blind. What blinds us are all those false beliefs we have in our mind." pg 17.

So, how do you cut through the fog of these beliefs to see clearly? Ruiz suggests using The Four Agreements.

The first is: "be impeccable with your word... you begin to see all the changes that can happen in your life. Changes first in the way you deal with yourself, and later in the way you deal with other people, especially those you love the most." pg 46. This includes your inner voice, the way you talk to yourself and how you narrate your reality.

Ruiz mentions that some people talk to themselves in a manner that they would find unacceptable to use with the people they care about. Change the way you speak and, Ruiz claims, your life will follow.

The second agreement is: "Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don't take it personally. If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you." pg 59 This helps you because: "When we really see other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. Even if others lie to you, it is okay. They are lying to you because they are afraid. They are afraid you will discover that they are not perfect." pg 63.

The third agreement is 'don't make assumptions': "If others tell us something, we make assumptions, and if they don't tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate." pg 74. Now that I've been looking for this, I've caught myself assuming things all the time.

It's funny how quick hurt feelings evaporate when I just put an "assumption" label over any stories I've concocted. It has actually been world-changing for me: to realize how many stories I make up because I'm bored or confused or simply don't know what someone else is thinking. And to realize that they're not real is such a relief. Really.

Finally: "Just do your best - in any circumstance in your life. It doesn't matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don't judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under." pg 85.

This was another big one for me. I used to get down on myself about how circumstances played out even if I had nothing to do with it. Now, I just pause and give it a quick think over, "Did I try my best?" Generally, yeah, I was trying my guts out.

And that's all I can ask of myself, really. I can't control the uncontrollable, I can only do the best I can with what I've got in front of me.

The Four Agreements may help readers live in the now and experience life as it is rather than as they've imagined it to be. At least, that's what it has done for me. Also recommended for readers who may be interested in spirituality but want a easy place to start. This one is simple and packs a big punch in a very few pages. ...more

4

Dec 13, 2016

Miguel Ruiz' self-help nonfictional work could easily be summarized in a few words, and if - upon reading the book's blurb here on Goodreads, which basically provides such a summary - you find nothing worth investigating in this novel, then maybe you should rather choose another book. Ruiz' ideas are very insightful and thought-provoking, but in their core nothing ground-breaking and some of his examples are actually rather questionable.

Ruiz basically implies the importance of standing up for Miguel Ruiz' self-help nonfictional work could easily be summarized in a few words, and if - upon reading the book's blurb here on Goodreads, which basically provides such a summary - you find nothing worth investigating in this novel, then maybe you should rather choose another book. Ruiz' ideas are very insightful and thought-provoking, but in their core nothing ground-breaking and some of his examples are actually rather questionable.

Ruiz basically implies the importance of standing up for yourself, not allowing others to influence your thoughts and your way of living in a negative way, instead living the way you want to live and not allowing expectations raised by society to affect your life. The tone of his prose was rather straightforward, but also condescending at certain points. All the time Ruiz repeated the same formulaic idea that nobody should take things personal, but his writing gave the impression of something along the lines of "but please do take those things personal which I am telling you about right now". Ruiz divides his book into four major steps, so-called 'agreements' which you have to adapt to in order to successfully change your life for the best, according to him. Those four agreements are called 1) be impeccable with your word, 2) don't take anything personal, 3) don't make assumptions and 4) always do your best. He also offers lengthy explanations and nonfictional examples to support those agreements.

Miguel Ruiz used to work as a surgeon until a near-death-experience convinced him of changing his life and delving into the deepest parts of himself, parts of which can be found in this book. Ruiz' enthusiasm about the concept he is living by basically flows through the entire text, allowing it to turn into a very uplifting book of highly readable and rather simplistic messages, yet Ruiz successfully managed to provide food for thoughts.

Even though I personally liked Ruiz' self-help novel a lot (it has actually been my first self-help novel, if you forget about disguised self-helpers like Jonathan Livingston Seagull), I can see why others would disagree with some of his messages, especially with his examples. Ruiz' concept of the 'dream of the planet' seemed far-fetched, and it always felt as if he was trying to make everything sound too simple, as if he didn't take different factors into account which would affect those four agreements in certain ways. I am going to give this book 4 stars since Ruiz' prose is incredibly readable, and his basic ideas and concepts resonate well with my own perceptions. Recommended for readers who are generally interested in this specific genre. ...more

3

May 16, 2015

Every human is a magician, and we can either put a spell on someone with our word or we can release someone from a spell. We cast spells all the time with our opinions. An example: I see a friend and give him an opinion that just popped into my mind. I say, "Hmmm! I see that kind of color in your face in people who are going to get cancer." If he listens to the word, and if he agrees, he will have cancer in less than one year. That is the power of the word.

This book is what my mother would have Every human is a magician, and we can either put a spell on someone with our word or we can release someone from a spell. We cast spells all the time with our opinions. An example: I see a friend and give him an opinion that just popped into my mind. I say, "Hmmm! I see that kind of color in your face in people who are going to get cancer." If he listens to the word, and if he agrees, he will have cancer in less than one year. That is the power of the word.

This book is what my mother would have called "woo-woo."

Ah, you mean it's sexy!

LOL No, not that kind of woo-woo. 'Woo-woo' meaning really 'out there' or 'hippie-dippie' or whatever people would call New Age stuff nowadays.

That being said, I think the author's heart is in the right place and I think he touches on some very good topics and advice. He's basically teaching the reader Buddhism. He doesn't put it that way, but... *shrug*

I'm going to try to boil this down for you and strip out the woo-woo so you can really understand what Ruiz is getting at.

He is basically saying that you should live your life by four agreements:

1.) Be impeccable with your word. This means, basically, don't gossip, spread venom, or hurt others with your words. Because words are powerful and they can really damage people.

Not only are you damaging other people with your hateful/thoughtless words, but you are damaging yourself.

I basically agree with this, although when the author (in the paragraph I opened this review with) basically says I have the power to give people cancer, I am a bit skeptical. o.O
...


2.) Don't take anything personally. People insulting you or trying to make you feel like shit (and sometimes succeeding) are really fucked-up. They are not pointing to you and calling you stupid/ugly/fat/etc. because you really ARE stupid/ugly/fat but because they are fucked-up inside and therefore they are saying hateful things and looking at the world in a skewed way.

Laugh it off. Brush that dirt off your shoulder. Don't take what people say to you personally. It really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

I don't FULLY agree with this, but I think in general it's a great concept. Very difficult to do, though. I think it would take a lot of practice to reach this level of zen.

"Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful. Don't take ANYTHING personally. Even if someone got a gun and shot you in the head, it was nothing personal. Even at that extreme.

See? Look at this paragraph, which basically is how the whole book goes. This first part I agree with: you are wonderful. Other people telling you 'you are wonderful' is to be ignored, because you should KNOW you are wonderful and not be dependent on other people's praise of you.

I've already got that and agree with it. Great point.

But then he brings up this 'shooting you in the head' thing. I mean, o.O Yes, I guess you shouldn't take it personally... SINCE IT'S HARD TO TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY WHEN YOU'RE DEAD.

I don't know, I feel like the author is sometimes taking this too far.
...


3.) Don't make assumptions. Communicate with other people. Don't date/marry people expecting they'll change - or wanting them to change. Love other people for who they are.

Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them. If we try to change them, this means we don't really like them.

Yes, I already know this and live it. Let me explain to you my philosophy.

For example, I don't date smokers. It would be very bad form of me to see a man I liked, respected, was attracted to - and decide to date him, KNOWING that he smokes. This wouldn't be okay. Because I don't like smoking, and I would be unhappy - even if the man was all other good things: sweet, funny, kind, smart etc. Therefore I refuse to date smokers - no matter how sweet and cute they are - because I know I would end up miserable and making the man miserable. A smoker can be my FRIEND, I have friends who smoke - everything is fine. But once you make it into a romantic relationship it's a no-go. I'm not into nagging and I avoid dating men who I would end up nagging.

This goes for everything. If you are the kind of vegan who is really, viscerally upset by people eating meat, don't date a meat-eater. If you only like thin, skinny women who jog - don't date a sweet, smart, funny fat woman and expect her to change. If you marry a man who is lazy, guess what? He is still going to be lazy after you are married. You nagging him 24/7 is not going to make him any less lazy. The only thing that will change is that you will both be miserable.

I can't tell you how many of my friends I've seen suffer horribly trying to please someone who allegedly 'loves' them. If you love someone, you don't try to change them into something they're not.

So although I'm wording this a lot differently than Ruiz, I basically agree with him. And communication is the key. You have to nip that shit in the bud. For instance, if you are a fat woman, and you are dating a man, the first time the man pulls some shit about your weight you have to shut that down. For instance, he suggests you order a salad as your meal or he asks you 'Are you sure you want seconds?' or he, out of the blue with no encouragement from you, buys you a gym membership or some shit, you have to step up and make it clear how things are going to be. Be like, "Look at me. I'm fat (or 'x size, or plus-size, or curvy or whatever you call it). That's not going to change. Either accept it and enjoy it, or get the fuck out of my life." Okay, maybe don't say 'fuck.' But you know what I mean.

I would even go so far as to state this up front BEFORE he pulls any shit. You can be gentle, but make it clear that what you see is what you get.

Goes for anything. Steak-lovers dating vegans/vegetarians, people who have high-paying jobs dating people with low-paying jobs, people who love fashion dating people who wear sweats every second they are not at work, people who love playing sports dating people who think sports are boring, etc. etc. etc. etc. If you are trying to change your lover than you don't really love him/her.

This 'assumptions' thing is all about communication. It could be "That man smiled at me. He must have a crush on me!" when really he's just friendly. Or "Susie didn't return my call yesterday. She must be angry with me or not like me anymore!" Maybe she just had her phone on silent. Don't assume stuff. Instead, ask people questions and get their thoughts. Don't jump to conclusions.
...

4.) Always do your best. Rather self-explanatory (you'd think) but I got kind of muddled in this section.

For instance, Ruiz says

Doing your best is taking the action because you love it, not because you're expecting a reward. Most people do exactly the opposite: They only take action when they expect a reward, and they don't enjoy the action. And that's the reason they don't do their best.

Which sounds like he's saying, "Do a job/career you love. You should love going to work every day." And that is a nice, great concept, but I don't know how realistic this is. Just saying. Ruiz says:

For example, most people go to work every day just thinking of payday, and the money they will get from the work they are doing. They can hardly wait for Friday or Saturday, whatever day they receive their money and can take time off. They are working for the reward, and as a result they resist work. They try to avoid the action and it becomes more difficult, and they don't do their best.

They work so hard all week long, suffering the work, suffering the action, not because they like to, but because they feel they have to. They have to work because they have to pay the rent, because they have to support their family. They have all that frustration, and when they do receive their money they are unhappy. They have two days to rest, to do what they want to do, and what do they do? They try to escape. They get drunk because they don't like themselves. They don't like their life.

Okay, again, I agree with Ruiz - but I don't see him offering any kind of practical advice or alternative. Yes, tons of people - most people, I'd say - have jobs they don't enjoy. What are you gonna do? Not everyone can be an author! (At least, an author who earns a living wage.) I don't really feel like this section was very helpful.
...

What is in the book besides these Four Agreements?

A lot of bullshit about how people are stars, we are all connected and everyone should love everyone. Some weird talk about 'being a warrior' which was not really explained and did nothing but confuse me. And some prayers that I didn't feel were particularly inspiring.

...

GREAT LINES

"No human can condemn another to hell because we are already there."

"That is why humans resist life. To be alive is the biggest fear humans have."

"Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves."
...


Another interesting thing is that Ruiz seems to have this idea:

We talk to ourselves constantly and most of the time we say things like, "Oh, I look fat, I look ugly. I am getting old, I'm losing my hair. I'm stupid, I never understand anything. I will never be good enough and I am never going to be perfect."

I've read about 85 books with this idea in it and I have to tell you it is a foreign concept to me. I never talk to myself this way. NEVER. If there are people who talk to themselves that way, I feel very sorry for them. :( I mean, other people are bad enough, I can't imagine putting YOURSELF through this kind of hell. I guess I'm lucky, because my kind of self-talk seems to be very positive and encouraging, and I think it has to be, because life is very rough. I can't imagine being an enemy to yourself like this.

Perhaps this is in so many books because it is 'normal?' Gosh, I hope not. Please, if you are the kind of person who puts yourself down, try and stop this. :( The world is such that sometimes you are the only friend you have, and if you talk to yourself like this, then that means you don't even like YOURSELF, and that is very horrible. :( Be your own friend. Be kind to yourself - because you can't count on other people being kind to you.
...

Well, that's it. I hope this review wasn't too 'woo-woo' for anyone, I tried to be real.

Pretty good concepts, although sometimes I felt that Ruiz either a.) took it too far, and b.) didn't really offer you any solutions for things he said you should avoid. A short, quick read.
...

P.S. I would just like to note that this book reads as if a 10-year-old had written it. This is not a compliment, I'm not saying, "Oh, this was easily accessible to the reader," what I'm saying is that this book has juvenile writing and it is as if you are reading something your nine-year-old wrote in English class. o.O This is no The Prophet, is what I'm saying. o.O ...more

1

Apr 10, 2014

This book is juvenile. The universally acceptable platitudes that make up the four agreements are the only useful phrases in the book. Every explanation is conclusory, circular, and intentionally unclear. His conclusions aren't drawn from any deductive reasoning or analysis, and nothing rings true. I suppose you could find solace in the book if you wanted to blame your parents and society for your unhappiness, but I am not unhappy and I don't believe that anyone else is responsible for my This book is juvenile. The universally acceptable platitudes that make up the four agreements are the only useful phrases in the book. Every explanation is conclusory, circular, and intentionally unclear. His conclusions aren't drawn from any deductive reasoning or analysis, and nothing rings true. I suppose you could find solace in the book if you wanted to blame your parents and society for your unhappiness, but I am not unhappy and I don't believe that anyone else is responsible for my happiness. Don't waste your time. ...more

4

Jun 12, 2007

Ruiz used to be a surgeon, until he fell asleep at the wheel one night and crashed into a wall. He recalls being outside of his physical body pulling two people from the wreckage. The near-death experience woke Ruiz to the teachings of his people, The Totecs, and thus renewed his original commitment to learn the Four Agreements.

This book spoke to me on a universal level because its principles are in harmony with the methodology of many other transformational techniques, and most importantly, Ruiz used to be a surgeon, until he fell asleep at the wheel one night and crashed into a wall. He recalls being outside of his physical body pulling two people from the wreckage. The near-death experience woke Ruiz to the teachings of his people, The Totecs, and thus renewed his original commitment to learn the Four Agreements.

This book spoke to me on a universal level because its principles are in harmony with the methodology of many other transformational techniques, and most importantly, with God himself. Ruiz breaks down the four agreements into simple language with spiritual undertones. He stresses that just doing your best in everything you do will help you keep the other three agreements: 1) Being impeccable with your word, 2) Don't take anything personally, and 3) Don't make assumptions.

Reading this book will touch, move, or inspire you with its possibilities for living a powerful and happy life. ...more

5

Jan 08, 2016

2019: November
According to Goodreads, this is my 6th time reading this book. Every time I pick it up I feel renewed that I need to find a way to implement all four agreements.

2019
One of my favorite books to re-read at the start of the year.

2018
There are four simple agreements, if we are able to stick to these four things, our lives will improve significantly. These four agreements are:
The Four Agreements are:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
2019: November
According to Goodreads, this is my 6th time reading this book. Every time I pick it up I feel renewed that I need to find a way to implement all four agreements.

2019
One of my favorite books to re-read at the start of the year.

2018
There are four simple agreements, if we are able to stick to these four things, our lives will improve significantly. These four agreements are:
The Four Agreements are:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

While these are "Simple" agreements, there is nothing simple about not taking anything personal, not making assumptions and always doing your best. I do believe these are four really great principles to live by and I look forward to putting these into practice.




2017
At the beginning of every year I try to read this book, maybe this year I will make it a monthly read. This book challenges us to do four "simple" things in order for us to live a more fulfilling life. I love how practical these challenges are, but each year I fail to live up to all. For the most part, I try to be impeccable with my word because I am firmly believe that your words create worlds. I keep telling people about the power of their words so this is an agreement I try to live as closely to as possible. The others are a little difficult but I think with constant reading and practice it will become a habit.
This should be mandatory reading for everyone.

A very powerful, life changing book, providing you do as instructed. Granted I have heard all of the Four Agreements in some form or another, but in this format I really "got it".
The Four Agreements are:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best
All Four Agreements are things that can be done, but will be really hard. After reading this book, I honestly saw how I sometimes get in my own way, in the way I speak, how I take things personally and by making assumptions. I honestly do believe if you work at these Four Agreements, your life will change in phenomenally.

PLEASE READ. ...more

4

Jun 02, 2008

"Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering." The Toltec wisdom of this book is commonsense which we all have heard, but do not always believe and apply every moment. As I read each section, specific relationships (of mine or others) came vividly to mind, esp. "negative" or "toxic" people I have had to walk away from; and the ones we can't leave (family) but can learn not to blame for their sickness. It's a very quick read, and I plan to re-read it at different stages. I think I will get "Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering." The Toltec wisdom of this book is commonsense which we all have heard, but do not always believe and apply every moment. As I read each section, specific relationships (of mine or others) came vividly to mind, esp. "negative" or "toxic" people I have had to walk away from; and the ones we can't leave (family) but can learn not to blame for their sickness. It's a very quick read, and I plan to re-read it at different stages. I think I will get something different out of it each time.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. ...more

5

Jul 24, 2007

I know this little book is the type of cliché self-help item that makes its way to the impulse-purchase-friendly shelves by the registers at Barns and Nobel around Christmas time and subsequently gathers dust on bookshelves across the nation unread by recipients because they are not the "type of person who reads self-help books."

But please don't judge this book by it's section.

The writing is a bit choppy and the use of repetition can be annoying initially, but the message is completely worth I know this little book is the type of cliché self-help item that makes its way to the impulse-purchase-friendly shelves by the registers at Barns and Nobel around Christmas time and subsequently gathers dust on bookshelves across the nation unread by recipients because they are not the "type of person who reads self-help books."

But please don't judge this book by it's section.

The writing is a bit choppy and the use of repetition can be annoying initially, but the message is completely worth it. Although many of us have probably heard this type of logic before (you get what you give, negative thoughts only lead to negative things, etc) it is extremely easy to loose sight of that in the daily drama of our lives. I am still noticing the effect this book had on my life when I find myself gossiping less and holding my tongue when I want to be negative and judgmental. I would recommend it to anyone who is looking for some perspective and hope. ...more

4

Jul 20, 2012

The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

I was given this book as a Birthday present from my little brother. He said its teachings can be life changing. I ENJOYED it a lot!!! As with any self help type of book you gotta "take some" and "leave some" if you know what I mean? For me this was a definite TAKE way more than leave. My brother and I have similar personalities and I can see very much why he gave The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

I was given this book as a Birthday present from my little brother. He said its teachings can be life changing. I ENJOYED it a lot!!! As with any self help type of book you gotta "take some" and "leave some" if you know what I mean? For me this was a definite TAKE way more than leave. My brother and I have similar personalities and I can see very much why he gave me this book. As soon as I read the inside cover I knew this was going to be something that connected with me, my life, and my way of thinking. Honestly, I think anyone and everyone who reads it can benefit and take something away making their life better. The bottom line in this book is that life is all about love---how to give it and receive it. This has been a long time belief of mine---that life is all about learning to love, unconditionally loving the way our Creator loves.

INSIDE COVER:
BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. ...more

2

Dec 09, 2009

Struggling somewhat to rate this one. There were a few nuggets that were very enlightening but a lot of unoriginal concepts or overly fluffy statements as well.

I found myself thinking "hey, that reminds me of..." very frequently while reading this book. The book reads like retreads of various scriptures, warm fuzzy stories, and self-help manuals. It's not a new concept that words are powerful and we should think and speak positively about ourselves and others. Not taking things personally is Struggling somewhat to rate this one. There were a few nuggets that were very enlightening but a lot of unoriginal concepts or overly fluffy statements as well.

I found myself thinking "hey, that reminds me of..." very frequently while reading this book. The book reads like retreads of various scriptures, warm fuzzy stories, and self-help manuals. It's not a new concept that words are powerful and we should think and speak positively about ourselves and others. Not taking things personally is another not-new self-help idea. Same with not making assumptions and always doing your best. A lot of the advice is couched in "fuzzy" terms that just irritate me...black magic vs. white magic, visualizing and imagining, we live in a dream of hell? While the concepts behind the language may be accurate I just had a hard time taking it too seriously with language like that.

I particularly struggled as a parent reading the first chunk of the book. We have to teach our children something, just so they can function in society and have a structure to hang their lives on, but Ruiz seemed so against "domestication" that he almost seemed to advocate not passing our beliefs and teachings on to our children because they have no real choice in whether or not to believe them when they are young. I suspect if I had the chance to actually have a conversation with him, he could clarify the confusing and sometimes contradictory passages in the book, but I don't have that opportunity. And I'm left with a book that seems to have some good, though not really original, ideas - with no real outline for how to apply them.

For more book reviews, come visit my blog, Build Enough Bookshelves. ...more

4

May 21, 2016

I think most everyone has read this book . Basically it tells us to be true to our real selves, look for the good, not bad, live in the moment, not to accept others opinions of you as true. Don't make assumptions, tell people what you need. Don't take things personally - in short who could be a better judge of who you are than yourself. In my experience it's much easier to be yourself as an " older" person. You've had those extra years to figure out who you are, and hopefully what's most I think most everyone has read this book . Basically it tells us to be true to our real selves, look for the good, not bad, live in the moment, not to accept others opinions of you as true. Don't make assumptions, tell people what you need. Don't take things personally - in short who could be a better judge of who you are than yourself. In my experience it's much easier to be yourself as an " older" person. You've had those extra years to figure out who you are, and hopefully what's most important to you. You learn that most of the time the general public pay little or no attention to you. It becomes much less important to live up to the expectations of others and in my case , it has probably made me speak my mind way too often and too loudly. I think I'll need to keep this nearby and re- read parts to fully grasp all of it's concepts , not all of which I'm fully on board with yet . We'll see . Makes you think. 4 stars ...more

1

May 18, 2011

Promoted as “A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom,” The Four Agreements was not my first choice to read in my spare time. Upon request of a dear friend, I forcibly attempted this 138-page book mustering somewhat of an open mind. Already, I have wasted many years as an idealist, grasping at wishful thinking as a way to truth. Being a childhood survivor of religious indocrination, I now err on the side of skepticism before embracing any proposal as legitimate. That preface made, I share with you Promoted as “A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom,” The Four Agreements was not my first choice to read in my spare time. Upon request of a dear friend, I forcibly attempted this 138-page book mustering somewhat of an open mind. Already, I have wasted many years as an idealist, grasping at wishful thinking as a way to truth. Being a childhood survivor of religious indocrination, I now err on the side of skepticism before embracing any proposal as legitimate. That preface made, I share with you my thoughts about The Four Agreements.

Not surprisingly, author Don Miguel Ruiz was born into a family of shamanism. This background led him to explore a path of self-inquiry and ancient ancestral wisdom. From his experiences, he penned the essay-like Four Agreements, expressing his viewpoint about the self.

He opens the book with an old tale about a man calling himself “The Smoky Mirror.” My skepticism nearly gagged at this point, and I was only through the roman numerals of the book pages. I could already see which direction he was headed. He launches into a romanticized dissertation about the Domestication of the Planet and ends with a statement of living in heaven on earth. If that’s not an overused cliché, what is? Now, we are ready for the life-altering Four Agreements…sarcasm intended.

What are the Four Agreements?

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

Was this a revolutionary message worth 138-pages of my time? What unique perspective could he shed on these hackneyed topics purported by flashy motivational speakers? I expected disappointment, but I suspended my disbelief initially. After reading some of the following statements, I no longer took his book seriously. It transformed from self-help into a humorous description of his biased utopia.

Here are (only) three of the outrageous statements that have no factual basis:

1. I see a friend and I say, “Hmmmm! I see that kind of color in your face in people who are going to get cancer.” If he listens to the word, and if he agrees, he will have cancer in less than one year. That is the power of the word. (page 29)
2. Love in action only produces happiness. (page 128)
3. The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer. (page 129)

As you deduced, this book seemed a shallow journaling of the positive-thinking-movement. I speculate that the writers of the publicized book, “The Secret,” found a predecessor in this book. For those who swear by The Secret’s principles, cozy up in your reading recliner with The Four Agreements and a steaming cup of coffee. Immerse yourself in the pages of this elementary-level read. Experience those warm and fuzzy feelings while you think happy thoughts and live in that fairytale land of Peter Pan.
...more

5

Feb 20, 2012

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Don't be misled by the smallness of the book or the simplicity of its language. ...more

1

Jan 06, 2008

This quick read was interesting in that I gained a new perspective on how others view the world. The book itself is quite simply written and very repetitive, and although brief, could have been about 1/8 the length to get the main points across. There are definitely some good takeaways that we should all apply to our lives. I always struggle with individualistic worldviews, even if the goal is to love others, so that might have been difficult for me to get past. Additionally, the book was This quick read was interesting in that I gained a new perspective on how others view the world. The book itself is quite simply written and very repetitive, and although brief, could have been about 1/8 the length to get the main points across. There are definitely some good takeaways that we should all apply to our lives. I always struggle with individualistic worldviews, even if the goal is to love others, so that might have been difficult for me to get past. Additionally, the book was sprinkled with pot shots at various mainstream religions, but when they lack any substance, that also leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I'm glad I read it for insight into others' views, but didn't glean much additional deep insight into the world and was not impressed with the writing. ...more

1

May 07, 2008

New age psycho babble that nearly had me giving up, but it was so short I persevered. The middle part was good, how to change your life with the four agreements: speak impeccably, don't take things personally, do your best and some live each moment or something. Good stuff, but not ground breaking or earth shattering. We know all this stuff, but it is nice to be reminded and hopefully inspired to do better. Unfortunately it ended with more new age stuff. It's sort of a sandwich and just like an New age psycho babble that nearly had me giving up, but it was so short I persevered. The middle part was good, how to change your life with the four agreements: speak impeccably, don't take things personally, do your best and some live each moment or something. Good stuff, but not ground breaking or earth shattering. We know all this stuff, but it is nice to be reminded and hopefully inspired to do better. Unfortunately it ended with more new age stuff. It's sort of a sandwich and just like an Oreo, the best stuff is in the middle. It's most redeeming quality is that it is very short. ...more

4

Jun 29, 2019

This was quite insightful and full of practical wisdom and ideas that really make you think.

I like that it's short and easy to read, though to be honest it does seem to repeat itself a fair bit. I think that's intentional to kind of help the message sink in, but it had the opposite effect for me and made me want to skim.

It's an accessible kind of book that is a nice easy introduction to opening the mind. It essentially teaches strategies for looking beyond the material world so that one can feel This was quite insightful and full of practical wisdom and ideas that really make you think.

I like that it's short and easy to read, though to be honest it does seem to repeat itself a fair bit. I think that's intentional to kind of help the message sink in, but it had the opposite effect for me and made me want to skim.

It's an accessible kind of book that is a nice easy introduction to opening the mind. It essentially teaches strategies for looking beyond the material world so that one can feel happiness no matter what situation they find themselves in. I like that idea. I appreciate what this book is trying to teach.

Like many spirituality books, however, I was a little put off by the overuse of God. I think that it kinda makes me pull away a bit because everyone has different religious interpretations and beliefs so when a book tells me I have to be thankful to God I feel slightly resentful. Can't I just be generally thankful to whomever deserves the thanks?

Also, the end section seemed a little tacked on to me, like it was just trying to make up the page count. It was still interesting information, but once you finish the section on the fourth agreement you're really just ready for the conclusion.

Overall, though, I enjoyed it; I think there is a lot of wisdom here and it's short and practical enough that even those who may not be as spiritually inclined should get something out of it. ...more

2

Jul 19, 2007

Positives:
-It's good to be reminded not to assume why people treat you a certain way. It is often not personal.
-I liked the thought that if you shouldn't take negative comments personally, you also shouldn't take positive comments personally. Trying to believe one side and not the other is contradictory, and our views of ourselves should be maintained on our own.
Negatives:
-I felt there was a lot of filler fluff and repetition.
-The author tried to simplify religion to a point where it didn't Positives:
-It's good to be reminded not to assume why people treat you a certain way. It is often not personal.
-I liked the thought that if you shouldn't take negative comments personally, you also shouldn't take positive comments personally. Trying to believe one side and not the other is contradictory, and our views of ourselves should be maintained on our own.
Negatives:
-I felt there was a lot of filler fluff and repetition.
-The author tried to simplify religion to a point where it didn't mean anything. Seemed kind of like he was trying to take the easy way out instead of actually analyzing why different religions believe different things. Comments like telling me to forgive God didn't make any sense. From my studies, it works the other way around since I didn't make the rules. :) ...more