The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette, 50th Anniversay Edition Info

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The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette is the most
authoritative book of its kind. Filled with practical advice for every
occasion, business and pleasure, this book ensures that all of your
social interactions will be handled with grace and
confidence.
This classic guide, first published in 1952, has been
fully updated to reflect the concerns of the modern reader. The advice
that has made Amy Vanderbilt the first name in etiquette remains
pertinent today. Here is the final word on buying and using stationery,
responding to dinner invitations, hosting a party, and attending
religious ceremonies. The chapter of the most enduring popularity is, of
course, the one on weddings. From addressing invitations to sending
thank you notes, everything a bride needs to plan the perfect wedding is
easily accessible.
In addition to the time-honored guidance that
has made this book a treasured reference, this updated edition contains
information that addresses modern concerns of every kind. Here is
advice on answering cellular phone calls in public, behaving courteously
at the gym, and speaking at business meetings.
Whether you need
to compose an invitation, write a letter of condolence, address your
senator, set a dinner table, or buy a gift for a foreign business
associate, you will find The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of
Etiquette
practical, down-to-earth, and always
reliable.
Updated and revised by former White House Staff
Coordinator Nancy Tuckerman and respected businesswoman Nancy Dunnan,
this trusted book remains the most complete and authoritative guide to
living well.

Average Ratings and Reviews
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Reviews for The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette, 50th Anniversay Edition:

3

October 13, 2003

A disappointment, but still an authority
My mother has a copy of the original edition, so I grew up treating Vanderbilt's work as a constant reference for social graces. Naturally, I was overjoyed to learn that a new edition had made an appearance. Unfortunately, I was disappointed.
With no disrespect intended to Tuckerman et al for their fine work, this once-great guide is a shadow of its former self. It is no less accurate than it once was, but is unfortunately much more base. Do people really need to be told not to leave dirty dishes lying about, for example?
As a guide to minimal civilized behaviour--how not to behave like a spoiled child--it carries the tradition of excellence. However, for the finer points of etiquette, I strongly recommend tracking down a copy of the 1978 (Baldrige ed.) edition of this great reference.
4

January 27, 2000

The Cornerstone of Modern Etiquette
By far this is the most comprehensive work on modern etiqutte. It is not particularly a book that you should read cover to cover due to its vast size, but it lends itself to an excellent reference manual for everyday affairs. I would highly recommend this for the office.
4

December 9, 2002

Fight preventor
When in doubt, this is the book that comes out first. My husband and I pulled it out several times during our engagement to find out "how" we should do things. From setting the table to working with kitchen staff help this book has it all. (Now if I could just afford the staff!)
5

February 27, 2014

Great Book
I purchased this book for my younger niece because etiquette seems to be a thing of the past with the up and coming generation and she loved it
5

June 11, 2013

Good manners help, and sharing them with the younger generation is a good idea.
I often have felt that if everyone read a good etiquette guide and followed the suggestions, the world would be a kinder, gentler place. One can't do much better than Amy Vanderbilt and I bought this for my niece, who is going to be married soon and should have a good guide in her library. Every aspect of one's life works better with good manners.
5

March 2, 2017

Five Stars
Great reminder that in today's "pop" culture, everything and anything are not acceptable!
3

November 23, 2005

Today's World Has Some Shortcomings.
Etiquette are the rules to apply toward others in public. When you work in the public sector, there are such a thing as manners and treating others as you want to be treated. In Sunday's local paper, there was an article "Do clothes still make the man -- or woman?" in which a former chief deputy clerk in the District Court gives accounts of how the judges treated jury members and defendants who were not properly dressed according to his wishes. Ties were required as was dress wear instead of just being clean and properly groomed. He bases his account on the 'Andy Griffith show' which still plays on local television, and used Amy Vanderbilt's GUIDE TO GRACIOUS LIVING about how to greet people on the street. Well, he is an older man, granted, but he does not follow his own advice. I saw him coming out of the History Center on the main street of town; when he acknowledged he knew me, he turned and walked around the block so as not to have to converse with me. He criticized the way people dress today in public and asks, "Whatever happened to class?"

According to this volume, which is a bit outdated but not as much as the Vanderbilt guide he used, a woman should dress according to her profession. Seeing a woman move up the ranks at the local transit system, going from old-fashioned denim dress with boots to cover the rest of her, to dressing like a common street walker, I had to make a comment, "You need to dress professional." Her boss, attired in orange pants and ball cap at a special "Meet the Manager" day, dressed down to what he perceived is the level of the riders; he asked me, "Do you think I should be wearing a suit?" and I merely said, "I will tell you what I did Ms. Pickle, "You should dress professional" if they want to receive the admiration of the public they are purportedly representing. The rudeness of some transit employees show their disrespect for the older person of different races and for their job. When we get on that bus, our lives are in the hands of these rude, surly, prejudiced persons who say derogatory remarks to and about passengers in front of others. They can refuse to stop to pick you up at their discretion, and they take advantage of that. It's not just bad manners. It shows how regressed a certain percentage of the population has become. They are ignorant and uneducated, and show it.

A man should never wear frayed shirt collars and cuffs no matter what the occasion is. I saw a local celebrity on the sidewalk outside his office with a torn place on his pants leg. Some people have no pride in their work or position in the community. Her advice: "Know who you are" and dress accordingly. In the Northeast, you must never wear white shoes and accessories after Labor Day, but that doesn't apply to the South.

A good rule for both sexes is to never dress in clothes that are too tight; they make a thin person look gaunt and a large person twice as heavy. There are people who are not interested in how they are perceived dress according to the weather and, even in public, wear ill-fitting casual wear. If they could just see themselves from the rear!

By all means, we need to smell good. I like her hand lotion but the perfume is too strong. Sometimes, riding the local buses, I have to put some of the lotion on a handkerchief and hold it to my nose, as the homeless and some others don't practice good hygiene. With the increase in rates, perhaps that smelly group of people won't be so prevelant.
5

August 14, 2019

So Fetch #GretchenWeiners
For years I’d felt like there were answers to life other people knew that I just wasn’t getting. My mom gave me an old copy of this book and I must say, I’ve never felt more prepared for social situations before. I’m autistic so operating and navigating social situations is extremely difficult for me. But please be informed that this edition is VASTLY different than that of the one my mother gave me from her old book collection(one she gave me came out in like 1982 with red and white binding).
However, I stress the differences of the two editions not because one is better than the other but because BOTH of them are of equal imperatence #imo. This Etiquette Edition is invaluable for the 21st century as it addresses how to act in episodes and encounters of LGBTQ+ families, job interviews of today, Skype meetings, phone and F2Fbusiness meetings, social media etiquette and proxy, you name it. And it’s even thicker. My advice would be to get both if you can if you can’t then this one is the best for you by far! But please don’t let this be your only source of etiquette. Go out and learn. People will teach you how to treat them if you ask it respectfully.
3

March 1, 2017

Someone recommended that I read this book and now that I ...
Someone recommended that I read this book and now that I own it i seriously question whether they themselves have read this book. This is not the type of book that you read, this is a book you reference. This book is filled with every conceivable scenario and it would be impossible to store every one of them in your head. What I was hoping for was more of a philosophy, a way of thinking and being such that etiquette comes naturally.
4

August 5, 2013

Amy Vanderbilt Etiquette 50th Anniversary Ed.
Very well written. This book is an excellent resource and guidebook. I recommend it to all those interested in keeping knowledge of proper custom up-to-date.
3

Aug 23, 2007

Well, how else was I supposed to know how to speak to my maid about that unfortunate incident involving Mr. Wallis Peavy's soup spoon at my dinner after the West Point Mixer last Spring? If not for Amy, I'd still be wearing my white gloves to a hunting party!
5

July 3, 2018

But now I know better!
Oops, I did that! But now I know better!
5

July 29, 2017

This is an excellent book! Etiquette seems to have become a thing ...
This is an excellent book! Etiquette seems to have become a thing of the past, particularly in the workplace. I have enjoyed bringing to attention several aspects of bad form to some of my colleagues, one of the most annoying ones which is interrupting someone while they are speaking. I'm considering giving copies as gifts for Christmas!
4

April 5, 2008

I liked it!
This book is vry informative and really has some great information. I wish more people would read it and learn a little!
4

Sep 05, 2007

This book is delicious. I thoroughly enjoyed every hilariously smug word. Vanderbilt's audacious attempts to commune with the common man (those with less than, say, three servants) while still pandering to those who might require personal audience with the Pope or may need to break previous engagements due to invitations to the White House filled my toilet time with joy for months.
This book is so dreadfully boring and asinine that it has burst through into the realm of unintentional comedy. This book is delicious. I thoroughly enjoyed every hilariously smug word. Vanderbilt's audacious attempts to commune with the common man (those with less than, say, three servants) while still pandering to those who might require personal audience with the Pope or may need to break previous engagements due to invitations to the White House filled my toilet time with joy for months.
This book is so dreadfully boring and asinine that it has burst through into the realm of unintentional comedy. Just fantastic. I recommend it in small doses, lest you be tempted to jump from a cliff or gouge your eyes out with a pen.
Spectacular, truly spectacular.

My review, by the way, is for the 1952 edition. If they changed it, for shame! I don't think this is what Grandma had in mind when she passed it along to me.

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5

Feb 13, 2018

Spectacular! I'd have never thought that a reference book on etiquette would conceivably rank among my favorite books, but here we are. The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette is a guide to all parts of life that I wish I'd read a decade or two ago, and it's something I plan on continually rereading parts of for refreshers. Reading this book makes me think about how I can be more polite and a better member of society while not neglecting my own needs at the same time.

Some parts are a Spectacular! I'd have never thought that a reference book on etiquette would conceivably rank among my favorite books, but here we are. The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette is a guide to all parts of life that I wish I'd read a decade or two ago, and it's something I plan on continually rereading parts of for refreshers. Reading this book makes me think about how I can be more polite and a better member of society while not neglecting my own needs at the same time.

Some parts are a little pretentious. Plenty of parts are dated. This book was written in the 90s, before widespread home Internet use, before cell phones, before many huge social changes at the turn of the century. So there are some sections that just don't apply anymore. At the same time, it would've been much worse trying to read through what someone thought was etiquette for modern cell phones and texting. I'm glad I got it how it is.

There was so much I didn't know in here, and so many opportunities revealed for me to be a better person. It's not stuffy at all, it's not oppressive rules. It's just good manners. A life-changing read. ...more
4

Jan 09, 2018

As with rules regarding driving, etiquette is an important skill for navigating social situations and minimizing the risk of conflict, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. Etiquette helps us know what is expected of us and what we can expect from others.

Cons:
-As mentioned by others, some of tips included may seem sexist or outdated. While reading, I considered how to adapt such advice to my daily life.
-Some of the advice included is rather obvious (ex. considering your recipient before sending As with rules regarding driving, etiquette is an important skill for navigating social situations and minimizing the risk of conflict, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. Etiquette helps us know what is expected of us and what we can expect from others.

Cons:
-As mentioned by others, some of tips included may seem sexist or outdated. While reading, I considered how to adapt such advice to my daily life.
-Some of the advice included is rather obvious (ex. considering your recipient before sending a joke card) and/or repetitive.

Pros:
-This book contains brilliant and timeless advice for navigating tricky and/or unfamiliar social situations.
-I appreciate the emphasis not only on one’s comfort level, but also on considering the needs and comfort of others.

I would recommend this book to anyone interested in enhancing their social skills. ...more
5

Aug 30, 2013

I grew up in a small town and when teenagers came close to a decent dating age the neighborhood would put together an etiquette dinner to help properly prepare us. Unfortunately, this dinner was never a walk in the park. Sure there were tea light candles to try and build the mood for an actual date. They would have beautiful table clothes and correct dinner plate settings. We were then expected to figure out how to use the place settings in the correct manner all while we remained prim and I grew up in a small town and when teenagers came close to a decent dating age the neighborhood would put together an etiquette dinner to help properly prepare us. Unfortunately, this dinner was never a walk in the park. Sure there were tea light candles to try and build the mood for an actual date. They would have beautiful table clothes and correct dinner plate settings. We were then expected to figure out how to use the place settings in the correct manner all while we remained prim and proper while indulging ourselves in spaghetti.

That is right, spaghetti. I know what you are thinking. How are we supposed to remain posed and clean while we are eating this messy dish? Well, it was no easy feat. In fact I am sure that many of us failed miserably in our attempt to keep sauce off our chins and clothing. Plus we had to remember not to slurp our noodles such as we have done since childhood. When exactly did that stop being cute anyway? I don’t remember if we had spoons to twirl our noodles for less mess. If we did then none of us hick-ish people were actual masters at such a task.

You can read more at about the dinner and the great information found within this book at http://forsweetwords.blogspot.com/b/p... ...more
4

Jan 16, 2012

After a slight disagreement with my mother regarding proper placement of cups and utensils on an informal table, I chose to read both this book and Emily Post's Etiquette.

This book was written in 1995 - and it shows. In the most direct sense, the text goes over a high amount of common sense. But, it does reference everything from boating, tennis, tipping, traveling and proper placement of utensils on a table. It also details certain subjects, like funerals, in a way that I doubt most millennium After a slight disagreement with my mother regarding proper placement of cups and utensils on an informal table, I chose to read both this book and Emily Post's Etiquette.

This book was written in 1995 - and it shows. In the most direct sense, the text goes over a high amount of common sense. But, it does reference everything from boating, tennis, tipping, traveling and proper placement of utensils on a table. It also details certain subjects, like funerals, in a way that I doubt most millennium texts will touch.

Some information is timeless. However, in comparison with the recent revamping of Post's tomb in 2011, the Vanderbilt text offers little decent comparison. I would would highly suggest reading it if your local library has a copy.

**Update: I have since found a family copy of the 1967 edition, edited by A.V. herself. Invaluable resource to read. I would suggest that edition over this. It even has a section and diagrams on on how to properly make your bed! Priceless! ...more
5

Jun 16, 2008

This book is a great must have for anyone who questions the proper way to go about things. From Weddings to Funerals, Dinner Party's and Business, this book is a perfect guide for proper etiquette. I love that I can answer my friends questions about what to do in various situations. I have referenced it more frequently than I would have thought.
4

Jun 24, 2010

an interesting departure from my usual morning read over coffee...

it was a good reiteration that a handwritten thank you note will never go out of style, among others. this book was useful to me in other ways too - we used it at my friend's wedding to figure out the order of the bridal march down the church aisle.
5

Nov 24, 2014

A must have for every personal library. They've taken a more modern stance on some social conventions than I prefer to use, but overall this is a book that gives you confidence in your appropriateness in any room or situation.
0

Jan 23, 2008

At some point I became fascinated by rudeness and the death of manners. I like the old etiquette books from the 19th century, so the Vanderbilt was a bit of a step forward for me. Weighing several pounds, it is currently propping up some other books on my night stand.
4

Aug 24, 2014

I understood, that things about everything is about nothing. But its OK for beginners.
4

Feb 26, 2011

This book is really 'complete', covers all kinds of situation, from funerals to ethnic parties.

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