4.43

3

Aug 23, 2007

Well, how else was I supposed to know how to speak to my maid about that unfortunate incident involving Mr. Wallis Peavy's soup spoon at my dinner after the West Point Mixer last Spring? If not for Amy, I'd still be wearing my white gloves to a hunting party!

4

Sep 05, 2007

This book is delicious. I thoroughly enjoyed every hilariously smug word. Vanderbilt's audacious attempts to commune with the common man (those with less than, say, three servants) while still pandering to those who might require personal audience with the Pope or may need to break previous engagements due to invitations to the White House filled my toilet time with joy for months.
This book is so dreadfully boring and asinine that it has burst through into the realm of unintentional comedy. This book is delicious. I thoroughly enjoyed every hilariously smug word. Vanderbilt's audacious attempts to commune with the common man (those with less than, say, three servants) while still pandering to those who might require personal audience with the Pope or may need to break previous engagements due to invitations to the White House filled my toilet time with joy for months.
This book is so dreadfully boring and asinine that it has burst through into the realm of unintentional comedy. Just fantastic. I recommend it in small doses, lest you be tempted to jump from a cliff or gouge your eyes out with a pen.
Spectacular, truly spectacular.

My review, by the way, is for the 1952 edition. If they changed it, for shame! I don't think this is what Grandma had in mind when she passed it along to me.

Here's some more commentary:
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http://furst.bigwhoop.org/archives/00... ...more

5

Feb 13, 2018

Spectacular! I'd have never thought that a reference book on etiquette would conceivably rank among my favorite books, but here we are. The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette is a guide to all parts of life that I wish I'd read a decade or two ago, and it's something I plan on continually rereading parts of for refreshers. Reading this book makes me think about how I can be more polite and a better member of society while not neglecting my own needs at the same time.

Some parts are a Spectacular! I'd have never thought that a reference book on etiquette would conceivably rank among my favorite books, but here we are. The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette is a guide to all parts of life that I wish I'd read a decade or two ago, and it's something I plan on continually rereading parts of for refreshers. Reading this book makes me think about how I can be more polite and a better member of society while not neglecting my own needs at the same time.

Some parts are a little pretentious. Plenty of parts are dated. This book was written in the 90s, before widespread home Internet use, before cell phones, before many huge social changes at the turn of the century. So there are some sections that just don't apply anymore. At the same time, it would've been much worse trying to read through what someone thought was etiquette for modern cell phones and texting. I'm glad I got it how it is.

There was so much I didn't know in here, and so many opportunities revealed for me to be a better person. It's not stuffy at all, it's not oppressive rules. It's just good manners. A life-changing read. ...more

4

Jan 09, 2018

As with rules regarding driving, etiquette is an important skill for navigating social situations and minimizing the risk of conflict, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. Etiquette helps us know what is expected of us and what we can expect from others.

Cons:
-As mentioned by others, some of tips included may seem sexist or outdated. While reading, I considered how to adapt such advice to my daily life.
-Some of the advice included is rather obvious (ex. considering your recipient before sending As with rules regarding driving, etiquette is an important skill for navigating social situations and minimizing the risk of conflict, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. Etiquette helps us know what is expected of us and what we can expect from others.

Cons:
-As mentioned by others, some of tips included may seem sexist or outdated. While reading, I considered how to adapt such advice to my daily life.
-Some of the advice included is rather obvious (ex. considering your recipient before sending a joke card) and/or repetitive.

Pros:
-This book contains brilliant and timeless advice for navigating tricky and/or unfamiliar social situations.
-I appreciate the emphasis not only on one’s comfort level, but also on considering the needs and comfort of others.

I would recommend this book to anyone interested in enhancing their social skills. ...more

5

Aug 30, 2013

I grew up in a small town and when teenagers came close to a decent dating age the neighborhood would put together an etiquette dinner to help properly prepare us. Unfortunately, this dinner was never a walk in the park. Sure there were tea light candles to try and build the mood for an actual date. They would have beautiful table clothes and correct dinner plate settings. We were then expected to figure out how to use the place settings in the correct manner all while we remained prim and I grew up in a small town and when teenagers came close to a decent dating age the neighborhood would put together an etiquette dinner to help properly prepare us. Unfortunately, this dinner was never a walk in the park. Sure there were tea light candles to try and build the mood for an actual date. They would have beautiful table clothes and correct dinner plate settings. We were then expected to figure out how to use the place settings in the correct manner all while we remained prim and proper while indulging ourselves in spaghetti.

That is right, spaghetti. I know what you are thinking. How are we supposed to remain posed and clean while we are eating this messy dish? Well, it was no easy feat. In fact I am sure that many of us failed miserably in our attempt to keep sauce off our chins and clothing. Plus we had to remember not to slurp our noodles such as we have done since childhood. When exactly did that stop being cute anyway? I don’t remember if we had spoons to twirl our noodles for less mess. If we did then none of us hick-ish people were actual masters at such a task.

You can read more at about the dinner and the great information found within this book at http://forsweetwords.blogspot.com/b/p... ...more

4

Jan 16, 2012

After a slight disagreement with my mother regarding proper placement of cups and utensils on an informal table, I chose to read both this book and Emily Post's Etiquette.

This book was written in 1995 - and it shows. In the most direct sense, the text goes over a high amount of common sense. But, it does reference everything from boating, tennis, tipping, traveling and proper placement of utensils on a table. It also details certain subjects, like funerals, in a way that I doubt most millennium After a slight disagreement with my mother regarding proper placement of cups and utensils on an informal table, I chose to read both this book and Emily Post's Etiquette.

This book was written in 1995 - and it shows. In the most direct sense, the text goes over a high amount of common sense. But, it does reference everything from boating, tennis, tipping, traveling and proper placement of utensils on a table. It also details certain subjects, like funerals, in a way that I doubt most millennium texts will touch.

Some information is timeless. However, in comparison with the recent revamping of Post's tomb in 2011, the Vanderbilt text offers little decent comparison. I would would highly suggest reading it if your local library has a copy.

**Update: I have since found a family copy of the 1967 edition, edited by A.V. herself. Invaluable resource to read. I would suggest that edition over this. It even has a section and diagrams on on how to properly make your bed! Priceless! ...more

5

Jun 16, 2008

This book is a great must have for anyone who questions the proper way to go about things. From Weddings to Funerals, Dinner Party's and Business, this book is a perfect guide for proper etiquette. I love that I can answer my friends questions about what to do in various situations. I have referenced it more frequently than I would have thought.

4

Jun 24, 2010

an interesting departure from my usual morning read over coffee...

it was a good reiteration that a handwritten thank you note will never go out of style, among others. this book was useful to me in other ways too - we used it at my friend's wedding to figure out the order of the bridal march down the church aisle.

5

Nov 24, 2014

A must have for every personal library. They've taken a more modern stance on some social conventions than I prefer to use, but overall this is a book that gives you confidence in your appropriateness in any room or situation.

0

Jan 23, 2008

At some point I became fascinated by rudeness and the death of manners. I like the old etiquette books from the 19th century, so the Vanderbilt was a bit of a step forward for me. Weighing several pounds, it is currently propping up some other books on my night stand.

4

Aug 24, 2014

I understood, that things about everything is about nothing. But its OK for beginners.

4

Feb 26, 2011

This book is really 'complete', covers all kinds of situation, from funerals to ethnic parties.

0

Jun 01, 2009

The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette : 50th Anniversary Edition by Nancy Tuckerman (1995)