Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life Info
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People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality
Disorders have a serious mental illness that primarily affects their
intimate, personal, and family relationships. Often they appear to be
normally functioning at work and in public interactions, and Narcissists
may even be highly effective, in the short term, in some work or social
situations. However, in intimate relationships, they can be emotional,
aggressive, demeaning, illogical, paranoid, accusing, and
controlling—in the extreme. Their ability to function normally or
pleasantly can suddenly change in an instant, like flipping a switch.
These negative behaviors don’t happen once in a while, they happen
almost continuously in their intimate relationships and most often, and
especially with their Caretaker family member.
Margalis Fjelstad describes how people get into a Caretaker role with a
Borderline or Narcissist, and how they can get out. Caretakers give up
their sense of self to become who and what the Borderline or Narcissist
needs them to be. This compromises the Caretaker’s self-esteem,
distorts their thinking processes, and locks them into a
Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer pattern with the Borderline or Narcissist. The
book looks at the underlying rules and expectations in these
relationships and shows Caretaker’s how to move themselves out of
these rigid interactions and into a healthier, more productive, and
positive lifestyle—with or without the Borderline/Narcissistic
partner or family member. It describes how to get out of destructive
interactions with the Borderline or Narcissist and how to take new, more
effective actions to focus on personal wants, needs, and life goals
while allowing the Borderline or Narcissist to take care of themselves.
It presents a realistic, yet compassionate, attitude toward the
self-destructive nature of these relationships, and gives real life
examples of how individuals have let go of their Caretaker behaviors
with creative and effective solutions.