3.90

4

Aug 26, 2014

Mars and venus in the bedroom: a guide to lasting romance and passion, c1995, John Gray
John Gray (born December 28, 1951) is an American relationship counselor, lecturer and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which became a long term best seller and formed the central theme of all his subsequent books and Mars and venus in the bedroom: a guide to lasting romance and passion, c1995, John Gray
John Gray (born December 28, 1951) is an American relationship counselor, lecturer and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which became a long term best seller and formed the central theme of all his subsequent books and career activities.
تاریخ نخستین خوانش: روز بیست و هفتم ماه آگوست سال 2004 میلادی
عنوان: مریخیها و ونوسیها در اتاق خواب؛ نویسنده: جان گری؛ ترجمه: کامران پروانه؛ مشخصات نشر: تهران، اردیبهشت، 1382، در 240 ص، شابک: 9647727550؛ موضوع: صمیمیت، امور جنسی - سده 20 م
دکتر جان گری در این اثر توضیح می‌دهد که چگونه با استفاده از مهارت‌های ارتباطی می‌توان آتش عشق و نشاط رابطه متعهدانه جنسی را حفظ کرد. خوانشگران با خوانش این کتاب درمی‌یابند که چگونه با شناخت تفاوت‌های زنان و مردان، و تلاش برای هماهنگ شدن، می‌توانند لذت بیشتری از زندگی ببرند. کتاب گزیده ای از سخنرانیهای دکتر جان گری در مورد روابط بین زوجها و عوامل پایداری روابط مثبت آنان است. خوانشگر درباره ی تفاوتهای زن و مرد میتواند روشهای تازه ای را برای بهبود رابطه ی زناشویی بیابد. آگاهی از این تفاوتها به همگان نشان میدهد که مسائل بوجود آمده، در بین زنان و مردان، مشابه هستند، و بدون داشتن و دانستن این داده ها هیچکس نمیتواند در زندگی زناشویی موفق باشد... زنان به ماه شبیه اند که دائماً یا در حال جلا یافتن‌ هستند و یا رنگ میبازند، و ... و به آقایان توصیه میکند تفاوتهای زنان با مردان را، به درستی درک کنند. ا. شربیانی ...more

4

May 09, 2010

Not the bad, but nothing so much amazing.
The best and most important thing for me is near beginning - that men can love deeply mainly during and after good sex. That sex helps them to open their love - and their beloved ones. And it helps them to feel anything at all.
My boyfriend told me often in the past that he has sex with me because he loves me. I denied it angrily - "No, this is not true! You has sex with because you want have sex, because your own pleasure! Dont lie to me!"
But he WAS Not the bad, but nothing so much amazing.
The best and most important thing for me is near beginning - that men can love deeply mainly during and after good sex. That sex helps them to open their love - and their beloved ones. And it helps them to feel anything at all.
My boyfriend told me often in the past that he has sex with me because he loves me. I denied it angrily - "No, this is not true! You has sex with because you want have sex, because your own pleasure! Don´t lie to me!"
But he WAS right. And I was on mistake.
I didn´t know it. (And I couldn´t know it, because women have no direct conecting between sex and love: they can enjoy sex deeply only if they feel loved before sex - which is true for me, too, but they can´t feel more love during and after sex if they didn´feel deep love before it. All women react similar. And when John Gray told that women commonly don´t believe in conecting between sex and love by men - yes, I was such common case, too!)
I am so sorry! After reading it, I apollogized him immediately, and he forgave me. :o)
/But, not all men feel love after sex, I fear. When some man doesn´t love some woman and only want to have sex, after it will be no more love, maybe more disgust for her - as his plaything, as "whore". He must like her mindestens a little from beginning - and after that, he will feel more love for her. Sex is no miracle. :o)
John Gray writes about love and sex in serious relationships, mainly in marriage, also all "his" couples are in love and they need help only for feeling more love and bigger happiness. I live in such relationshio, too, also this book fits me very well.) ...more

3

May 03, 2014

I first have to give credit to my husband because as I was reading this I became impressed with him; I realized how good I have it. He is amazing in the bedroom. It seems so easy for him to put me first in his life. He does nearly everything for me that was discussed in this book. He would be ecstatic to know that he is the “King of the Bedroom.” Hopefully that isn’t too much information.

I wanted to read this with hopes of what to look forward to for our sex life after I am done nursing our I first have to give credit to my husband because as I was reading this I became impressed with him; I realized how good I have it. He is amazing in the bedroom. It seems so easy for him to put me first in his life. He does nearly everything for me that was discussed in this book. He would be ecstatic to know that he is the “King of the Bedroom.” Hopefully that isn’t too much information.

I wanted to read this with hopes of what to look forward to for our sex life after I am done nursing our baby. I have been pregnant or nursing for the past 11 years so I am hoping to regain some semblance of a sex drive because as of now my mojo is nonexistent. Where’s a book that addresses that issue with moms?

This book was straightforward and to the point. I liked that the author did not shy away from the details of sex. I hate when books supposedly talk about sex but they are vague and not helpful in the least. I will say though that a bit of it came off as chauvinistic and degrading to women. It favors the male ego emphasizing how important sex is to him and women were sometimes an afterthought. One such reference said that when a man was not in the mood for sex the woman could begin to take responsibility for her own pleasure—how insulting! Yet when a woman was not in the mood it alluded to her giving into a quickie for her man as if she was obligated to. If I’m not in the mood it means I do not want anything at all and I don’t think I should feel guilty about it. As a woman I do not want, or deserve, to feel used and as a result become resentful. I disagree with some points. There were some harsh stereotypes that made men out to be selfish and insensitive while women were to be submissive.

What I did appreciate were the examples on saying “no” in a positive way so the man does not feel rejected and eventually quit initiating sex. Sometimes if I have had a hard day I will let my husband know that I will plan a good time the next night so he knows I still want to be with him. He would rather I be into sex anyway than be dead in the bed. It’s better for the both of us.

I agree that a good sexual experience, or sex life for that matter, seems to depend mostly on the woman because a man feels the most fulfilled when the woman is satisfied. “For sex to be memorable from both the male and female perspective, the woman needs to be fulfilled. I have never heard a man complain ‘She had a great time and I didn’t. All she cared about was herself and her own pleasure. She had her way with me and then left.’”

I liked the interpretations he gave for the woman’s clothes at bedtime, they were a silly exaggeration because sometimes you wear something because that color looks good on you. For instance, if she wears black lace or garters she is giving a clear signal that she wants to have sex. She knows what she wants and it is intense, hot, and lusty. If it’s a black bra and underwear she is in a more seductive and aggressive mood. Whereas in a white silky satin outfit, she may feel sensitive, gentle, and loving. I thought it was funny when old cotton flannel pajamas were on the list as “not in the mood.” So true. That’s when I want to be comfy and relax. I was surprised there was no mention of the color red. Red seems to give my husband the signal that I want it and I will probably take over and be passionate. I think it fits in the lusty category.

It touches on the difficulties of a woman’s day-to-day tasks which I related to as a stay-at-home mom. “The more a woman is focused throughout her day on caring for and giving to others, the less aware she is of herself and her own sensual desires.” I find that to be true in my life. I agreed with the advice for a man to plan out the details for such things as their dates. When a man handles the details, the woman can then relax and feel taken care of. This helps me so I don’t feel like sex is just another task I need to do, instead I feel loved and want to be more affectionate toward my husband. I really feel appreciated when he takes care of our kids at bed time or does the cleanup after dinner. If we acknowledge how hard each of us works then we keep our relationship more meaningful.
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2

Mar 21, 2016

John Gray PHD is an asshole. Apparently a monk that went mainstream and decided to have lots of sex after being celebate for a prolonged period of time and then also decided he knew all about women. He wrote TEN separate books imparting his insightful wisdom to the common man. I could write ten books if all of them are anything like this. A good portion is devoted to whoring out the other nine and what content there is just repeats itself over and over with simplistic common sense phrases and John Gray PHD is an asshole. Apparently a monk that went mainstream and decided to have lots of sex after being celebate for a prolonged period of time and then also decided he knew all about women. He wrote TEN separate books imparting his insightful wisdom to the common man. I could write ten books if all of them are anything like this. A good portion is devoted to whoring out the other nine and what content there is just repeats itself over and over with simplistic common sense phrases and ideas. After every thought or idea, that paragraph is then followed up with the very same thing written before it only in bold print so you don't fail to grasp the importance of what Mr. Gray just told you. One of the things that bothered me the most in the reading was when he stated men cannot truly feel or open up until they have had sex. This is completely rediculous. Also, I can magically put my wife in the mood by washing the dishes. This book was horrible. I gave it a fair shot and slogged through from cover to cover, unfortunately. ...more

5

Apr 08, 2013

Mars and Venus in the Bedroom: A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion by John Gray (first published 1995)
Added 4/8/13

I read this book several years ago and found it to be very enlightening.

I think this book should be given as a gift to all engaged couples. Even married couples might benefit from it. It talks about the subject of intimacy in a straight-forward manner and might help communication between spouses. It teaches couples how to talk about their intimacy-needs using a vocabulary suited Mars and Venus in the Bedroom: A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion by John Gray (first published 1995)
Added 4/8/13

I read this book several years ago and found it to be very enlightening.

I think this book should be given as a gift to all engaged couples. Even married couples might benefit from it. It talks about the subject of intimacy in a straight-forward manner and might help communication between spouses. It teaches couples how to talk about their intimacy-needs using a vocabulary suited to the subject. Sometimes we just don't have the "words". This book gives them to you.

PS-I had confused this book with Gray's other book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Please forgive the mix-up. ...more

2

Jun 11, 2008

This guys...John Gray that wrote this book is just a little weird when it comes to his idea of what sparks sexual interest in a relationship. Like...his ideas do not fit into the teachings of my religion. Therefore...I only give him two stars for this book. He is a wild sex psycho-lolagist...so good for him! It may help people in some respects in learning how men and women are different but, it won't help if the man doesn't read the book as well. Just telling a guy that this book said this or This guys...John Gray that wrote this book is just a little weird when it comes to his idea of what sparks sexual interest in a relationship. Like...his ideas do not fit into the teachings of my religion. Therefore...I only give him two stars for this book. He is a wild sex psycho-lolagist...so good for him! It may help people in some respects in learning how men and women are different but, it won't help if the man doesn't read the book as well. Just telling a guy that this book said this or that doesn't work...believe me...I've tried it! men will be men. The book asserts that men are misunderstood that...they only want physical gratification (or so people think) But that men really want emotional gratification and closeness also. Men go to work all day and are hardened by the world around them and from the time males grow up...they are taught not to show emotion. Therefore...the only way for them to get in touch with their feeling and emotions is through being close to a woman or having sex. So, the physical gratification is just one aspect of it. However...on the woman's side....it asserts that the man needs to be patient and loving and one of the main things that it asserts is that women love men with a "slow-hand". Well...this is true...women need to be seduced or feel like that to want to have sex. But...I give this book two stars not only for it's wierd methods of sparking interest like the "M" word but also because....men will not listen to this!!! They will keep on being impatient and stupid...they don't kno w how to stop acting like hormone controlled dummies and they won't stop! not for anyone or anything. Slow-hand???? yeah right....find me that dream guy. I would be happy for the rest of my freakng life!!! ...more

3

Jul 12, 2017

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. 3.5

I would recommend to read this with your partner, because besides the differences between men and women, everyone is different and has different tastes also when it comes to sex.
This needs to be with an openminded approach and be discussed with a partner who is willing to improve the relationship through open communication.

That's why I don't feel like giving a higher vote, because this shows how women are somehow disadvantaged to my eyes.
For example, when man wants sex and woman isn't in the 3.5

I would recommend to read this with your partner, because besides the differences between men and women, everyone is different and has different tastes also when it comes to sex.
This needs to be with an openminded approach and be discussed with a partner who is willing to improve the relationship through open communication.

That's why I don't feel like giving a higher vote, because this shows how women are somehow disadvantaged to my eyes.
For example, when man wants sex and woman isn't in the mood, she is advised to give him a quickie. When she initiates sex and he doesn't feel like to, she is advised to masturbate and invite him to join if he wants to.
I don't like this, but maybe there are real differences in men's brain that are unmovable even through open communication.
So that's why I would recommend to read it with your partner and discuss it together. Everyone is unique. ...more

2

Dec 08, 2015

Another book which I did not seek out on my own. Again, I do not agree with many of the concepts and advice given, as they conflict with other moral precepts to which I will adhere. I found it almost bizarre to think the author recommends women always give into their husbands request for physical intimacy...every single example he cited was a "yes" from the women, whether she wanted to or not. He thinks men are too fragile and easily damaged from rejection. I think there are other more powerful Another book which I did not seek out on my own. Again, I do not agree with many of the concepts and advice given, as they conflict with other moral precepts to which I will adhere. I found it almost bizarre to think the author recommends women always give into their husbands request for physical intimacy...every single example he cited was a "yes" from the women, whether she wanted to or not. He thinks men are too fragile and easily damaged from rejection. I think there are other more powerful spiritual sources to which he can turn to "get over it".

Being completely clueless as I am, I did like one quote in the chapter addressing romance: "Romance is anything that helps her to feel that she is not alone and that someone is there for her. Any little thing he can directly do for her says he cares and creates romance." ...more

1

Jul 29, 2008

I hesitate to even add this to my list and only do so as a warning. Though Gray makes some valid points, his approach is smutty and tasteless. Anything he offers that is of value is covered in Lamb & Brinley's "Between Husband and Wife", which is the book that I recommend. I do NOT recommend this one.

2

Jun 29, 2016

Read summer of 1995: A book to explain how men and women think differently and using this knowledge to make sex more satisfying. The way the author rewrites paragraphs in old to reiterate is really insulting to the reader.

3

Feb 04, 2017

Nothing groundbreaking here. Just good for the occasional reminder of what you should do to keep the passion alive in your married life.

2

Apr 26, 2013

Useful as a springboard for conversation. Just don't swallow his sweeping statements hook, line, and sinker.

1

Jul 31, 2015

There were a few insightful stories and tips, but overall I was very disappointed in this book. Although some things can be gleaned, a majority were not in-line with my worldview and standards.

3

Feb 12, 2015

Mars and Venus in the Bedroom: A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion (1995) by Dr. John Gray is a useful book to help couples, either new or old, spark the rhythms of romance back into their relationship. Dr. Gray focuses mostly on sexual aspects in the relationship (as in chapters like “Sexual Confidence”, “The Joy of Quickies”, “Polarity Sex”, “Mechanical Sex versus Spontaneous Sex”, and “Sexual Anatomy and Oral Sex”) and the more basic fundamental aspects of a relationship (as in chapters Mars and Venus in the Bedroom: A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion (1995) by Dr. John Gray is a useful book to help couples, either new or old, spark the rhythms of romance back into their relationship. Dr. Gray focuses mostly on sexual aspects in the relationship (as in chapters like “Sexual Confidence”, “The Joy of Quickies”, “Polarity Sex”, “Mechanical Sex versus Spontaneous Sex”, and “Sexual Anatomy and Oral Sex”) and the more basic fundamental aspects of a relationship (as in chapters like “Women are Like the Moon, Men are Like the Sun”, “Why Couples Are Having Less Sex”, “How to Rekindle the Passion”, and “Keeping the Romance Alive”). And most of the chapters do provide useful tips for keeping or igniting passion into the bedroom (or living room if that is you and your partner’s preference).

At times the advice is dated (after all, the book was published 20 years ago and lots can change in two decades), but at times Dr. Gray knows exactly what he is talking about and offers some lasting advice (after all, how much can men and women and sex really change in two short decades?). But in the end, as Dr. Gray opines: “There is no better aphrodisiac than sex itself. The easier it is to have sex, the more you want it” (p 105). And, hopefully, you want lots of sex with that most special someone in your life, right?

The good news is that older women are the ones who enjoy sex more than older men. Dr. Gray comments on this paradox:

“As a general rule, men peak in their sexual interest when they are seventeen or eighteen years old. A woman reaches her prime when she is thirty-six to thirty-eight years old. It is similar to the pattern that men and women experience during sex. The man gets excited very quickly with little foreplay—except the opportunity to have sex—while a woman requires more time. Quite naturally, he feels that women don’t like sex as much as he does” (p 88).

One rule Dr. Gray suggests is for men to add a ‘0’ behind their usual 2-3 minute-marathon to have a clear understanding that many women need 20-30 minutes to become fully warmed to great sex and even the possibility of an orgasm (p 63). Certainly this does not mean for every man and woman, but Dr. Gray speaks about the general norm for most men and women.

Here is some particularly useful advice from Mars and Venus in the Bedroom:

“The sexual act for a woman is a process of discovering what feels good that day,” explains Dr. Gray. “She does not want her partner to follow any premeditated rigid plan. She would rather that sex be a spontaneous creation each time, appropriate to how both partners are feeling…

“She wants him to know that each time her mood may be different. She wants him to know how to discover with her what she wants. She wants him to be sensitive to her feedback that will assist him in leading her to higher states of fulfilment and pleasure.

“To do this, a man needs to know the basics of great sex and to be willing to experiment by rotating his various skills. Like an artist, he needs to be very familiar with the basic colors of sex and then experiment with how they combine to create a new work of art. Like a musician, he needs to know the basic notes and chord combinations to create a beautiful piece of music” (p 151-152).

In other words, Dr. Gray is advising men to be prepared by doing their homework on a woman’s physical composition (i.e., to know how and where to please a woman on her body), to have enough knowledge on sexual positions to keep the woman guessing (i.e., study! study!), and also to practice! practice! practice! (Not such bad advice if you ask me—men and women could all use a little more practice at love-making).

Dr. Gray continues:

“These different expressions of her sexual nature are not planned or thought out, but instead are discovered in the moment.

“When a woman has the freedom to be spontaneous, these different expressions and others will naturally come up and be expressed. When a man carefully takes the time to stimulate a woman with no expectations of how she is supposed to respond, over time she feels safer and safer in sex to do and express whatever she feels. This uninhibited sexual expression frees her to experience new heights of sexual ecstasy” (p 153).

According to Dr. Gray, men need to be patient enough to control their passions and learn to read a woman to help her open up her sexual passions in a spontaneous way. The more the man takes control and is careful to give the woman an orgasm first, the more the man and woman are able to fully explore the gratifications and pleasure of sex together. But Dr. Gray has a bit of advice on the relationship side of being involved with the opposite sex:

“Many men don’t realize why monogamy is so important,” writes Dr. Gray (and he’s absolutely right about this and what follows), “They don’t instinctively understand that monogamy ensures that a woman continues to feel special and loved. If she is not feeling loved in this way, she cannot continue to open herself to him. Trust is essential for a woman to continue getting turned on to her partner” (p 157).

Trust is key for building not only a solid relationship but also amazing sex. The more the woman is able to trust the monogamy and man in the relationship the more she is freed to open up and express her passion and desires in the bedroom (or in the kitchen on the floor).

But the problem with most men, unlike many women, is control. And Dr. Gray speaks about two kinds of control: that of the body and that of the mind:

“When I am turned on to another woman,” confides Dr. Gray, “I look down at myself and think, ‘I’m glad everything down there is working.’ Then I point in the opposite direction and say, ‘Home, James.’ This is called ‘dick-discipline!’”

And more follows, “Just by containing my sexual feelings and repeatedly directing them to my wife, I increase my ability to be turned on to her. Also by controlling my feelings when I am away from her, I have more control in sex…

“When a man can both feel his passion and control it, a woman can begin to let go of control, release her inhibitions, and start to really feel her passions. As a man learns to control his passions, not only does he help his partner reach higher levels of fulfilment, but he can also experience greater levels of sexual pleasure and love…

“When a man is in control, it means that his passions is so great that he could easily have an orgasm, but instead he holds back and gradually builds up his partner’s passion…

“When a woman is able to surrender and fully receive a man, he can easily maintain control while feeling increasing passion. When she is able to relax, receive, and enjoy his loving touch, he can last longer. He can continue giving as long as she is fully receiving” (p 159-161).

The lesson from Dr. Gray is that if you give more, you will certainly get more. Try focusing less on your own passions and lusts and desires but focus on making your partner happier and more fulfilled (in both life and in the bedroom) and you just might get some benefits as well.

The truth is sex and relationship is not a one-way street in a busy construction-loaded city; it’s more of a hand-in-hand union walking beside a swan lake and when no one is around—since this is a privately owned lake park by you and your special partner—you throw off your clothes and make wild, mad love until dusk as the swans swim by with their wide, innocent eyes). Sex and relationships are a partnership, a product of two people (most of the time) working together, caring together, and loving together more and more each day.

But much like life, as well as in the bedroom (or in the shower), women want spontaneity, to be surprised, to be kept guessing, to continue to be allowed to feel the magic of life and love and romance. “A woman,” writes Dr. Gray, “feels most excited when she doesn’t know what he is going to do next [in the bedroom? in the car? in the backyard?]. Predictability is a turnoff…

“A man needs to remember that variety is very important to women” (p 145, 178).
And both sexes should remember some sage advice from Dr. Gray:

“Just as great communication opens a woman up to enjoy great sex, the possibility of great sex directly helps a man to be more loving in the relationship” (p 99). It’s a yin and yang kind of thing—you know, the sun and moon, the white and black, the one and the other.

Most women need to talk to connect while most, if not all, men need sex to connect—that’s just a fact of biology. Many women and men are simply wired differently and need to remember not only how to please themselves but how to please their partners even more. These are some of the advanced skills Dr. Gray mentions in his book.

And so we come to that time and place where an end is required (oh, how I hate endings, but these do lead to new doors and newer paths ahead), and so I will choose to end as Dr. Gray ends Mars and Venus in the Bedroom:

“By keeping the romance alive and practicing advanced bedroom skills,” explains Dr. Gray, “you can and will continue to enjoy great sex. May you always grow in love and passion and enjoy God’s special gift. You deserve it” (p 206).

Yes, yes you do.

Keep reading and smiling…
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1

Apr 23, 2017

This review is focused on both the book and audiobook. While John Gray’s theory of male/female interactions has kept many of his books on the best-selling lists for weeks and even months, it does not mean he should apply his theory to everything. In this case, he writes a book about the interaction of the sexes during sex. Some points hit home but unfortunately, his emphasis puts him directly in the same category as most audiobooks dealing with intercourse; one will be more amused listening the This review is focused on both the book and audiobook. While John Gray’s theory of male/female interactions has kept many of his books on the best-selling lists for weeks and even months, it does not mean he should apply his theory to everything. In this case, he writes a book about the interaction of the sexes during sex. Some points hit home but unfortunately, his emphasis puts him directly in the same category as most audiobooks dealing with intercourse; one will be more amused listening the audiobook, then applying the lessons taught from it.

Designated for couples in monogamous relationships, the audiobook disappoints listeners immediately in the introduction. It speaks about passion and love and then discusses how a loss of these can lead to marital affairs and this book was written to fight that. Fantastic—who isn’t for monogamous relationships where the partners do what they promised? However, this whole introduction is then spoiled by the author’s public service announcement on practicing safe sex and preventing the spread of HIV.

While the audiobook does emphasize the need to arouse both men and women, he follows this with a large presumption that women need to feel loved in order to be aroused, but men just need opportunity. In many ways, he displays man as the stereotypical sex-starved man who is always ready to get it on. For instance, he proposes:

"For thousands of years, men have adapted to their primary job as protector and provider by shedding down their sensitivities, emotions and feelings. To go out into the wild or battle, a man needed to put his feelings aside...Men gradually adapted to this requirement by becoming desensitized. In fact, this difference shows up dramatically in skin sensitivity. Women's skin is ten times more sensitive than a man's skin. For many men, other than hitting their finger with a hammer, sex is one of the only ways they can feel. It's definitely the way they can feel most intensely."

His male-bashing makes this audiobook a little disappointing along with his general premise that when men are sexually pleasured, they feel loved, while women need to feel loved before they feel the desire to have sex. On the macro-level, when couples have trouble in the bedroom, it is due to other issues such as assumptions, lack of communication, stress, and other relationship problems. So, when Gray recommends that you subtly hint to your partner about criticisms and issues with intercourse, he offers a formula for disaster and further alienation by both partners. Rather than have couples explore their own sexuality and learn about their sexual fantasies, arousals, and histories, he instructs couples to compromise to get what they want. While compromising in a relationship is essential, this method applied to its fullest is band-aid on a broken bone

Overall, the sound quality of the audiobook did well. The author reads his audiobook decently and at a good place with a clear voice. Occasionally the author reads very intensely, which was quite unnecessary and served as more as a distraction. His one flaw when reading was the pronunciation of the word “clitoris.” While all other body parts rolled off his tongue naturally, every time “clitoris” was mentioned, he read it coldly as if it was coming from a doctor giving a lecture.

There may be some tips to be learned from this audiobook, but an audiobook on bedroom affairs that only mentions communication almost as an afterthought needs serious reconsideration. And just when the author does get down to particulars about sex and exchanges between partners, he switches back to the romance factor. Amateur in nature, with no real depth on how to hold onto bedroom passion over the years, “Mars and Venus in the Bedroom” leaves much to be desired for better bedroom dynamics.
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2

Aug 18, 2011

U expected to hate this book. In fact, I had successfully avoided the book for years until I ended up with a free copy. At that point I figured I may as well read it. Surprisingly, I generally thought the book was pretty good.

Despite the fact that the phrase "love tank" is corny, Gray's point is a good one. He is trying to show people that true happiness and success isn't measured through the external trappings of wealth -- without an inner life, and an inner sense of worth, people will U expected to hate this book. In fact, I had successfully avoided the book for years until I ended up with a free copy. At that point I figured I may as well read it. Surprisingly, I generally thought the book was pretty good.

Despite the fact that the phrase "love tank" is corny, Gray's point is a good one. He is trying to show people that true happiness and success isn't measured through the external trappings of wealth -- without an inner life, and an inner sense of worth, people will constantly try to fill up their emptiness with stuff. And all the "stuff" in the world won't make up for what is lacking in good relationships, a sense of emotional well being, spiritual development, and community. I agree with him there.

I don't however, necessarily accept that you need all ten types of love to be happy. I do know people who don't have a romantic partner who are quite satisfied with their lives. Same with people who don't have children. The latter especially didn't fit for me -- Gray argues that being an aunt or belonging to something like Big Sisters won't fill you; you actually have to be a parent or have a pet, because otherwise you aren't experiencing enough responsibility. In Western culture that may be true. In other cultures, like mine (I'm of Eastern European descent) aunts and uncles view their nieces and nephews as being like their own. I certain do with my little niece. So it isn't as simple as Gray puts it.

Oversimplification is the biggest drawback of this book, and the reason I didn't give it five stars. There isn't a whole lot in the book that's particularly new. The letter writing techniques he describes can be found in other Gray books. There is a wealth of material on meditiation on the market. So if you read alot of self-help, some of the material in this book might seem redundant. This fact makes the book, which is about 310 pages, seem even longer than that.

Gray has a chapter that talks about different crisises at various life stages. Although he doesn't make the comparision, this chapter is reminiscent of Erik Erikson's eight stages of man. Had Gray referred to Erikson, this chapter might've had more weight. I was also frustrated because I know, as someone who's taken developmental psychology, that some of the life stages he mentions (mid life, retirement) have been shown in some studies to not result in crisis for a number of people. He makes no allusions to any evidence or research that might contradict his beliefs. In general, I was disappointed by the lack of references to other authors who share similar ideas.

I did find that his chapters on identifying and addressing the twelve blocks were really useful for me. I can also see myself journalling with some of the questions he gives in Ch. 17 to help the reader explore their past. Some of the suggested meditations are pretty good, too. So overall, there is some material in the book I could see myself referring to in the future, either for my own personal work, or to help a client. If you like Gray, and/or you want to learn to deal with your emotions more effectively, I'd say that this book is worth reading.

...more

3

Aug 15, 2012

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have picked up “Mars and Venus in the Bedroom” by itself. It came with the “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" book that I reviewed previously. That book still stands as one of the best relationship books that I have ever read. Sadly, this sequel doesn't really provide the same brilliance. This book more or less focuses on how to improve and/or keep your sex life healthy. The central theme of improving communication outlined in the previous book still takes center Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have picked up “Mars and Venus in the Bedroom” by itself. It came with the “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" book that I reviewed previously. That book still stands as one of the best relationship books that I have ever read. Sadly, this sequel doesn't really provide the same brilliance. This book more or less focuses on how to improve and/or keep your sex life healthy. The central theme of improving communication outlined in the previous book still takes center stage. Unfortunately (or fortunately in my case) there wasn't much more that I was able to pick up from this book. After being married for almost 16 years, I've pretty much figured out all of the "practical" advice that was given. If I were 15 years younger, this probably would have helped me a lot, but now it only serves to affirm things that I've figured out along the way. This may be very helpful if you are having issues, but don't expect to pull out many pearls of wisdom other ...more

4

Apr 22, 2015

Wow! Such a necessary read for those engaged or married!! I'll admit it gets a little weird (for conservative Christians) at some points (he recommends masturbation and phone sex), but generally so necessary for couples to know. I think you can boil down a lot of what he says to what I believe is the key to a successful relationship: prioritizing the needs of your mate. No one likes to hear this because we are all naturally inclined to worry about ourselves, first. But time and time again, the Wow! Such a necessary read for those engaged or married!! I'll admit it gets a little weird (for conservative Christians) at some points (he recommends masturbation and phone sex), but generally so necessary for couples to know. I think you can boil down a lot of what he says to what I believe is the key to a successful relationship: prioritizing the needs of your mate. No one likes to hear this because we are all naturally inclined to worry about ourselves, first. But time and time again, the proof is in the pudding: If each person of a couple prioritizes the needs/desires of the other, then both will be satisfied and the relationship solidified.

There are some parts where I feel he doesn't quite "get" women (after all, the author is male), but he also elucidates things that I think many men don't know about women. Likewise, there are things about men that women could definitely afford to learn. ...more

5

Apr 21, 2013

SEX. Now that's a word that gets your attention. Men and women spend great amounts of time thinking about sex, wishing for sex, having sex, and complaining about sex. Few couples have the skills to discuss, request, or negotiate sex or understand why sexual expression becomes so problematic.

Would you like to learn about sex and passion, increase your sexual confidence, rekindle passion, and keep romance alive? If so, consider reading Mars and Venus in the Bedroom by John Gray. While Dr. Gray's SEX. Now that's a word that gets your attention. Men and women spend great amounts of time thinking about sex, wishing for sex, having sex, and complaining about sex. Few couples have the skills to discuss, request, or negotiate sex or understand why sexual expression becomes so problematic.

Would you like to learn about sex and passion, increase your sexual confidence, rekindle passion, and keep romance alive? If so, consider reading Mars and Venus in the Bedroom by John Gray. While Dr. Gray's books are easily read, be forewarned. He writes about sex, sexuality, and intimacy with the same candor that you would expect of a weather report. Perhaps that is the important first lesson of this book. ...more

5

Feb 02, 2014

What a wonderful book! That's not about technics, but really about what makes sex great. I found biggest emotional answer for every page of it and I agreed with every word written there. I think the was no book about sex that I red that formulated it more clear and truly, definitely liked it most of all from everything written on this subject. It contains lots of great tips and advises both for men and women. On my view the will not be any sexual problems and misunderstandings in couples if both What a wonderful book! That's not about technics, but really about what makes sex great. I found biggest emotional answer for every page of it and I agreed with every word written there. I think the was no book about sex that I red that formulated it more clear and truly, definitely liked it most of all from everything written on this subject. It contains lots of great tips and advises both for men and women. On my view the will not be any sexual problems and misunderstandings in couples if both of people will accept points from the book and try to follow them with understanding, care and love. Enjoyed it do much. ...more

5

Aug 21, 2017

I think that all the Mars and Venus books should be required reading. This is a great book that takes a overall approach to how to behave in intimate situations. This does not really get into the mechanics, but rather the social aspects. For example, this is the first time you are seeing your partner in the buff. This can be really intimidating. Mars and Venus in the Bedroom gives a great prospective on how to navigate through these situations and avoid hurt feelings. One topic i enjoyed was the I think that all the Mars and Venus books should be required reading. This is a great book that takes a overall approach to how to behave in intimate situations. This does not really get into the mechanics, but rather the social aspects. For example, this is the first time you are seeing your partner in the buff. This can be really intimidating. Mars and Venus in the Bedroom gives a great prospective on how to navigate through these situations and avoid hurt feelings. One topic i enjoyed was the definition of the "bases."
This is an excellent read and it helped me out a lot. ...more

0

Mar 19, 2016

Counts as 1/2 a book.
Audiobook.

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, I'm from Mercury. Not down to Earth, closer to Venus than Mars, and I'm hot but a bit dense (or so my wife wd say).

Explicit sexual content, neat! Not the best on audio book, in headphones, at work -- I kept taking the headphones off and making sure no one cd hear the words "take it slow, gently rub the labia". But actually a good primer for 20-somethings who don't know a lot about sex.

But the book was not mostly about Counts as 1/2 a book.
Audiobook.

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, I'm from Mercury. Not down to Earth, closer to Venus than Mars, and I'm hot but a bit dense (or so my wife wd say).

Explicit sexual content, neat! Not the best on audio book, in headphones, at work -- I kept taking the headphones off and making sure no one cd hear the words "take it slow, gently rub the labia". But actually a good primer for 20-somethings who don't know a lot about sex.

But the book was not mostly about sex techniques. Reasonable ideas for getting along with your mate. ...more

5

Oct 22, 2014

Mars and Venus in the Bedroom by John Gray
Have liked the series and thought I'd just read all of them. Found it funny how a woman dresses what goes through the man's mind at the time.
Lot of helpful information that is easy to understand about how things are going and how you can make a difference.
I received this book from National Library Service for my BARD (Braille Audio Reading Device).

3

Nov 18, 2012

This was a thrift shop find that helped fill a box for cheap, and since what I write has romantic angles, I figured what the hell? The mid-grade was for the repetition of points in many of the chapters (but I guess some readers need the same thing told to them six different ways for it to sink in?). It was certainly an...interesting read....

3

Feb 03, 2013

It does provide some useful information but it is not as funny and light as the previous self-help relationship book ghat I read. The author is considerate enough to make every chapter short so that readers remember the facts and have the chancr to try them out after a chapter. I think it is really sweet.