4.49/5
Author: Emerson Eggerichs
Publication Date: Sep 1, 2004
Formats: PDF,Hardcover,Kindle,Paperback,Audible Audiobook,MP3 CD
Rating: 4.49/5 out of 44051
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
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Feb 28, 2012
I read this book as a part of a small group of friends. I tried to enter into the discussion with an open mind, but I have to be honest: this book is terrible. There's just no easy way to say this: the author is a chauvinist. The basic premise of the book is based on Ephesians 5:33: "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." It built a case up for why women should always respect their husbands, regardless of his actions, and I read this book as a part of a small group of friends. I tried to enter into the discussion with an open mind, but I have to be honest: this book is terrible. There's just no easy way to say this: the author is a chauvinist. The basic premise of the book is based on Ephesians 5:33: "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." It built a case up for why women should always respect their husbands, regardless of his actions, and thus the husband will love his wife in return. In other words, women are to take the initiative. The author seemed to imply that if a woman does not show her husband his "due" respect, then she is to be punished by having love withheld. This is one of the most disturbing concepts I have ever heard. I feel that love and respect both have their place in a romantic relationship. Women deserve respect, and men deserve love. It goes without saying, however, that the woman will love her husband, according to this book. Nowhere does it mention respecting the wife.Jan 16, 2008
I have to say that I did not enjoy reading this book at all and would not recommend it to anyone. First, it bothers me that he bases the vast majority of the books basis on a single verse. The description for this book says that Dr. Emerson has done extensive biblical research on his proposed idea of men needing respect and women needing love. However, I see very little that verifies this claim. Extensive biblical research would show Dr. Emerson’s thorough and careful exegesis of Ephesians 5:33, I have to say that I did not enjoy reading this book at all and would not recommend it to anyone. First, it bothers me that he bases the vast majority of the books basis on a single verse. The description for this book says that Dr. Emerson has done extensive biblical research on his proposed idea of men needing respect and women needing love. However, I see very little that verifies this claim. Extensive biblical research would show Dr. Emerson’s thorough and careful exegesis of Ephesians 5:33, which would include the historical background, the verses (and even chapters) surrounding the verse, the background and point of the book of Ephesians as a whole, who wrote the book, why it was written, and who it was written for, as well as a look at the greek that the original verse was written in. That would be extensive biblical research, what Dr. Emerson did in this book, I’m afraid, is not an example of this in the least.Jan 05, 2009
The best marriage book I've found so far. Based on the fact that women need love and men need respect. For years that concept turned me off of reading this book, until the wall was so great that I had nowhere else to turn to find out how to talk to my husband again. This book saved my marriage by teaching me how to talk to my hubby in a way that showed him what I was feeling in my heart in a way he understood.Mar 31, 2013
Love & Respect is one of the worst so-called biblical books on marriage that I have ever read which is not an over exaggeration. The writer's egregious exegesis should not be ignored. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs clearly hates women and uses twisted biblical concepts to degrade and humiliate women while promoting male superiority. At no time does he acknowledge that love is God's first priority. His video series is equally demeaning to women and glorifies the male ego to the exclusion of a woman's Love & Respect is one of the worst so-called biblical books on marriage that I have ever read which is not an over exaggeration. The writer's egregious exegesis should not be ignored. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs clearly hates women and uses twisted biblical concepts to degrade and humiliate women while promoting male superiority. At no time does he acknowledge that love is God's first priority. His video series is equally demeaning to women and glorifies the male ego to the exclusion of a woman's God-given needs. He is rude, caricature-ish, disrespectful, and abusive to women all while attempting to be funny. Eggerichs essentially blames women for the majority of all problems in marriage while giving a free pass to men on their sinful nature which is the result of the fall of man from a Christian's perspective.Jul 31, 2013
My boyfriend's parents bought us this book because they found it so helpful for their own marriage. My boyfriend and I read it together, but we only finished it because we told his parents we'd read it.November 13, 2015
Simply put, my marriage is on the rocks! I heard about this book and listened to the audio book. Now I'm ordering the book so that I can thoroughly study it and share with the wyfee! I pray it resignates with her spirit as it did with me! Amen!Sep 28, 2012
I don’t know if everyone will view this book with the same ‘Aha’ I did or if it is just the timing in my life.Aug 27, 2011
I believe this author has it wrong thinking women are more interested in "FEELING loved" than in BEING respected and treated like intellectual equals. So many women go out of their way to respect (and love) their men to the point of being doormats and yet still feel unloved and disrespected, and are then hit on the head with Bible passages to boot.Sep 02, 2018
Okay, so I'm a lifelong single guy. Still, most of my good friends are of the opposite gender, as are most of my extended family members-aunts, female cousins, etc.--who I talk to often. However, I've also had plenty of problems with the fairer sex, as well; most of the people who have unfriended me on Facebook have fallen into that category, and many of them were my coevals. So, my track record with the ladies has been kind of a mixed bag.Jan 06, 2012
I like the idea that women need love and men need respect. When I read this basic statement, a light bulb went off in my head because this is how my husband and I function as people in a relationship. However, I do not think that this concept applies to ALL relationships. Some men value love more than respect, and women value respect more than love. And they all value both. Futhermore, I feel like the point of this book was made within the first few chapters. After that, it just got very I like the idea that women need love and men need respect. When I read this basic statement, a light bulb went off in my head because this is how my husband and I function as people in a relationship. However, I do not think that this concept applies to ALL relationships. Some men value love more than respect, and women value respect more than love. And they all value both. Futhermore, I feel like the point of this book was made within the first few chapters. After that, it just got very repetitive and was filled with endless snippets of emails from people praising the author for his help. I would have liked this book better if it was much shorter and only had a couple examples from people instead of one on every page! I did like the tips shared in the bullet points at the end of the chapters in the second section, but that was probably the only thing I found helpful. I was a bit taken aback by the constant reminder that men need to be the head of the household, women need to speak less, and the underlying bias in the book that men always deserve respect. I am a very strong, opinionated woman and felt like while I could change some things about myself, I will not become a silent, submissive wife. That's just not me. ...moreMar 06, 2019
The diction and syntax are a bit evangelically, but the bones of this book are very good, and would be a great help to many couples I know.Feb 12, 2011
Like many Christian books, the authors have a really insightful point, namely that women need love and men need respect. They make this point really well in about 10 pages. The rest of the book is a broken record containing this same point told over... and over... and over... and over... and over... and over... and... well, you get the point. Some of the stories are humorous, and they definitely help make the point in the beginning. But after about 25 pages there is no new information, just a Like many Christian books, the authors have a really insightful point, namely that women need love and men need respect. They make this point really well in about 10 pages. The rest of the book is a broken record containing this same point told over... and over... and over... and over... and over... and over... and... well, you get the point. Some of the stories are humorous, and they definitely help make the point in the beginning. But after about 25 pages there is no new information, just a repetition of the same mantra. Don't waste your money. Just ask someone to share the DVD with you from the back of the book. The DVD is a 30 minute book promo that gives you the basic gist of the entire book in only 2-3 minutes. Stop watching after that unless you enjoy watching infomercials. Good point, but it's overblown to sell books. ...moreAug 27, 2009
Jun 12, 2009
My mother bought this book for my then-fiance and I when we announced our engagement, and both of us read it... most of it, anyway. Two years into our marriage, I will rate the advice as "excellent," and I've thus given it four stars. However, like so many "self-help"-type books, there is clear evidence of the author stretching out his material to fill enough pages to justify a solid $25 hardcover. In other words, read the first half of the book (or maybe even less) and you'll have gleaned My mother bought this book for my then-fiance and I when we announced our engagement, and both of us read it... most of it, anyway. Two years into our marriage, I will rate the advice as "excellent," and I've thus given it four stars. However, like so many "self-help"-type books, there is clear evidence of the author stretching out his material to fill enough pages to justify a solid $25 hardcover. In other words, read the first half of the book (or maybe even less) and you'll have gleaned everything really necessary. ...moreJul 29, 2015
If you want your marriage to hold the equality and values of the 1950s agenda of putting women back in their place, then this is the book for you.Mar 13, 2009
This is just another pop-psychology, appealing-to-the-masses-but-not-the-truth, feel-good book. It is so popular because it is in the same vein as The 5 Love Languages, His Needs/Her Needs, etc. which center on the anti-biblical/humanistic view of people as "love tanks"/"love banks" rather than the biblical understanding of who we really are (Gen 6:5; Jer 2:13; 17:9; Ecc 9:3; Mk 7:20-23; Gal 5:17; Rom 7, 8)Jul 16, 2009
This book addresses a tremendous lack in literature and teaching within the church regarding marriage. Dr. Eggerichs is absolutely correct to emphasize the respect that wives are called to give their husbands. The main concept is Scripturally sound: husbands are called to love their wives unconditionally and sacrificially; as Christ loves the church; wives are called to unconditionally respect their husbands with words and actions.Jun 07, 2012
I've read a lot of marriage books, gotten a ton of ideas to try, some that worked, a lot that didn't!Jan 20, 2014
From the get-go, this book sets up the wife as being the one who needs to change. Even in the subtitle--she has desires, but he has needs, desperate ones.Jun 28, 2012
Ephesians 5:33 has been there of two thousand years! Why do we miss it!Jul 06, 2012
In this Focus on the Family book, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs makes a very simple proposition; most of the problems between a man and his wife are communication gaps. Furthermore, these divides can be overcome if the couple can embrace the true meaning of Ephesians 5:33, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.†While this may seem like easy concepts to understand, Dr. Eggerichs explains the common ways men and women fail to grasp them. Using In this Focus on the Family book, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs makes a very simple proposition; most of the problems between a man and his wife are communication gaps. Furthermore, these divides can be overcome if the couple can embrace the true meaning of Ephesians 5:33, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.†While this may seem like easy concepts to understand, Dr. Eggerichs explains the common ways men and women fail to grasp them. Using examples from couples that he has counseled, the author covers the wide array of things that can go wrong when a man and his wife fail to employ the wisdom of Ephesians 5:33. In fact, it is these case studies that will strike home with most readers as they will inevitably see a little of themselves in the examples. After examining the common ways couples can fail to show true love and respect to one another, Dr. Eggerichs provides clear ways for a man and wife to immediately change their ways.Jul 18, 2012
I debated giving this book two or three stars due to the very poor authorship, but the content was so practical and refreshing that I could not help but give it a four. This book is another one on my list that might offend some people out there, specifically women, but in the end speaks truth. Not some abstract personal truth, but hard truth that our modern culture refuses to accept. I think men reading this will relate to this book and recognize their need for the concepts this author I debated giving this book two or three stars due to the very poor authorship, but the content was so practical and refreshing that I could not help but give it a four. This book is another one on my list that might offend some people out there, specifically women, but in the end speaks truth. Not some abstract personal truth, but hard truth that our modern culture refuses to accept. I think men reading this will relate to this book and recognize their need for the concepts this author represents, but be mindful, it will be awkward because it is very counter cultural. Approach it in prayer, and read it with your significant other. My wife read this first, and after reading it I became aware of how influential it had been in our marriage without me even knowing it due to her putting the principles into practice. I can't express how much it has done for us. If you can push past the first 4 or 5 chapters and get to the meat of the book, I assure you it will have a profound impact on your relationship with your other. ...moreJun 18, 2012
If you read nothing else regarding marriage and relationships, read this book!!! I have read many books, and attended many classes, seminars, etc. and nothing compares. This is the best, most interesting, insightful, profound, life-changing resource I have ever come across on this topic. You and your entire family will be blessed by this–even if your spouse does not go through it with you.November 13, 2016
A useful guide to crossing barriers to the deep tight marriage that we see in others but aren't sure how to attain in our own homes.Oct 28, 2017
Although it claims to be a Christian book, it has an unbiblical premise, and unbiblical content. I have the following serious concerns about the book:Take your time and choose the perfect book.
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