Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage Info

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A classic for thirty years, Intended for Pleasure is an
easy-to-read reference book that combines biblical teaching on love and
marriage with the latest medical information on sex and sexuality. This
popular resource gently encourages married couples to make their sexual
relationship the fulfilling experience it was meant to be. This is a
complete sex manual, with basic facts, illustrations, and frank
discussion of all facets of human sexuality. A perfect gift for
newlyweds and a source book for pastors and marriage counselors, this
book has helped more than a million people understand and enjoy the gift
God intended for pleasure.

Average Ratings and Reviews
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Reviews for Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage:

2

September 4, 2011

Dr. Wheat should stick to pap smears...
This was so bad, I felt compelled to write my first review to encourage people to wave off from buying this book.

As a male that is very sexually experienced, but relatively new in my walk with Christ, I read this book at the request of my significant other. I admit that I found the first three chapters on the role of sex in a Christian marriage compelling. After that, the information quickly went into basic anatomy, and a few tired sex clichés a lot of pitches for companion books that he and his wife have penned on other relationship subjects, and soon after totally bottomed out. Once it hit bottom, Dr. Wheat starts to dig. I forced myself to speed read thru the remaining and finally had to put the book down in absolute disappointment when I came to the one brief entry on oral sex that basically boiled the act as a 'crutch' for men lacking the self-discipline to use intercourse to bring their mate to orgasm (chapter 15, pg 242). Or that a woman unhappy with the after sex mess 'use a tampon to control the issue' (chapter 15, pg 240).

The ONLY reason I gave this book two stars was for the first three chapters. Beyond that, this book has few redeeming qualities. Look at some of the other recommendations in this review thread for some better alternatives.
5

January 5, 2017

An Enormous Blessing
My mom advised me to start reading this book 2-3 weeks before my wife and I were married last summer. I read the first 100 pages voraciously in one evening (two weeks before our wedding) and have been reading snippets here and there since a few weeks after the wedding. I finished it today, and I thank God for providing me insight into the wonderful purpose and joy found in my sexual union to my wife. I encourage you to study this book prayerfully and ask God to bring you and your partner closer to Himself and to each other as husband and wife. God bless you!

Note: The book appears to be directed largely at husbands and soon-to-be husbands and instructs soon-to-be husbands to read the first 100 pages of the book in the last few weeks before the wedding (to prepare for the wedding night) and to save the rest of the book for after the wedding day. I encourage readers to follow this instruction.
1

September 10, 2017

"If your husband does not want for you to be fat, you will avoid adding those ten pounds a year"
Be careful with this book if you don't want a complete Stepford wife relationship. The first few chapters start well and lull you into the sense that this will be a quality book. But then it veers off, telling women to always agree with their husbands and never turn them down for sex, no matter what. We then move into some terrible medical advice such as using a tampon to control the 'mess' from sex (incredibly dangerous practice that could cause toxic shock) and some other outdated nonsense about some STDs (yes, women with herpes can have a vaginal birth safely).

Caution at every turn.
1

May 17, 2010

Not Helpful
This book is boring and is filled with inapplicable situations for us and just didn't have hardly anything we found to be helpful in preparing us for marriage. I hope that Christians start to really talk about sex honestly and openly to help each other, b/c there are a lot of couples struggling and hurting w/ nowhere to turn except books like this one that just aren't that practical or helpful. In that spirit, I am going to share our story and hopefully it might help someone else out there. My husband and I are Christians...unfortunately we had sex w/ each other in college before we got married, but we repented and stopped and so we were excited about our honeymoon night to say the least. We had this book with us but didn't think we'd need it since we already knew "it worked." Well, our wedding night was a disaster in the sex department. It didn't even work! We both panicked. The rest of the honeymoon wasn't great either and I was frantically reading this book for help and we didn't find much b/c sex hurt me very bad and we had no idea why. After months of worrying and our situation only getting worse, I went to a gyno to see if something was wrong. She said that birth control can cause "dryness," and sex just doesn't work if you have that problem and it can be so dry that any lubricant isn't going to help...and that was my situation. So I got off birth control, we were prego 2 months later and we started to have wonderful sex. So 6 years and four precious children later, here we are, I will never touch birth control hormones again b/c I believe they are unnatural and horrible for a woman's body and know many wives who feel the exact same way about it. I also know Christian people who have gotten divorces a year or less after getting married b/c sex on birth control simply didn't work, but kids weren't an option. We had no idea. So I don't know what book would have helped us back then, but now we are reading "When Two Become One" by McCluskey and LOVE it and are about to read "A Celebration of Sex" by Rosenau...we just need a refresher course and reminder on the purpose of God's creation of sex and some how-to helpfulness b/c we've never had a "regular" sex life with my being pregnant so much...and we've never had anyone to talk to about our "issues." I never would have dreamed that this would be the path our lives would take but I couldn't be more thankful as it's taken the focus off me...at first that was miserable, but now it is so much more rich and fulfilling a life as it's not all about me anymore...which may have been God's purpose all along ;)
1

December 23, 2013

Very Old Fashioned
I was told to read this book by my wife, who was told by her pastor to have me read it. The ideas here are not for a young audience. Specifically, because I do love my wife and do not treat her as a slave. If you don't believe me then just buy this book and get ready to put it down after chapter 3.
2

February 17, 2011

beware of extreme bias- this book is not for everyone
I know this is a "Christian" book but what it has to say about masturbation and homosexuality is inconsistent with healthy human natural desire. If you want a book that conforms to a very narrow view then this one is perfect. If you are looking for equality between the sexes or up to date information about human sexuality then you won't find it in this book. Also the authors stole a lot from Masters and Johnson and do not give them credit. I thought stealing was a sin.
1

September 14, 2011

oh please
if you are engaged or married and clueless about how to properly have sex then you either

1) should not be engaged or married
2) should probably examine the formative events of your adolescence and determine where exactly you went wrong

i am not even sure i have much to say about this topic. i am completely baffled that there needs to be a book about this. sex is supposed to be a natural thing. having to read an awkwardly written how-to guide beforehand just makes you seem sad. i am very sorry for anyone who feels that they need this book. also, i have been having sex since i was 16 years old (i am 25 now) and guess what? i love it! and i'm good at it! practice, practice, practice. don't waste your time and money on this piece of crap book when you should be learning through doing.
1

June 23, 2017

My biggest issue with this book is the views that in order to be a good wife, a women must be available and agreeable ...
My husband and I were instructed to read this book by our pastor during our premarital counseling several years ago. This book is written with a religious view on sex within a marriage but I believe some of the views in the book are not conducive for a truly healthy sex life. My biggest issue with this book is the views that in order to be a good wife, a women must be available and agreeable to sex at all times. The book even recommends to agree to sex with your husband even if you are not interested in sex at that time but to submit no matter what, because then your husband will always be more willing to provide for you. I would never recommend this book to anyone. I completely understand this is written from a Biblical perspective but I'm sure there are better books within the religious category on sex that do not advocate for women to become nothing more then submissive sexual partners to their husbands but equal sexual partners who truly enjoy sex within a religious marriage.
1

October 4, 2017

Unhelpful and damaging
Too bad Amazon doesn't have a zero star option! I do not reccomend this book to any engaged or newly married women. I almost drowned my copy in the bathtub and I will not be keeping my copy. If you've lived under a rock since puberty you might enjoy it, but if not, it is dry, condecending, legalistic, and made me feel insecure and ashamed. What a disappointment from a Christian book. Seriously, don't get this book. The only part that might be helpful in the future are the chapters on sex during/after pregnancy....which he enjoys writing about since he's so against birth control :/ I highly reccomend "The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex" if you want to read an honest, fun, straight forward, biblical, and actually HELPFUL Christian sex book. Seriously girls, don't waste your time reading "Intended for Pleasure"
1

December 22, 2017

Just threw this book away
After nearly 30 years of marriage, went back through this book thinking I might recommend it for my engaged son. I realized how much of it was incorrect. It's basic premise is based on poor exegesis and a complete mis-understanding of the purpose of Song of Solomon. The clinical parts are pretty accurate, but most human beings can figure out the mechanics. You don't really need a book for that. On the whole, it sets wrong expectations for married couples. I recommend either "What Did You Expect?" by Paul David Tripp or "You and Me Forever" by Francis Chan.
1

July 5, 2015

Recreational Sex is a serious error
I believe this book is theologically toxic. Back in the 60s the culture began serious redefinition of sexuality. The Biblical idea that God placed children in the loins of the father, and that it was the duty of each Christian man to use his sexual ability to bring those children into the world and raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord for His glory ... that idea and sexual framework were abandoned. We abandoned the idea of procreational sex and accepted the world's idea of recreational sex. This made children a byproduct - an unintended consequence - of recreational activity. In Christianity, the emphasis moved to using sex within marriage as a relationship-enhancing activity. Of course children would be welcomed, but the world's idea of "responsible" sexuality (that is, not having more children than you can "afford") became part of the recreational sex package.

Ed Wheat was an early champion of this perversion. He, Tim and Beverly LaHaye ("The Act of Marriage") and others jumped on this bandwagon, and the shift led directly to the de-personalization of the pre-born, enshrined in law as Roe v. Wade.

Sexuality was not "intended" for pleasure - it was intended primarily as the means of obedience to God's command to us to "be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it." Marriage was not intended to be a sexual romping ground that was approved by God; it's primarily intended to be a reflection to the entire creation of the relationship between Jesus Christ and His bride. We have defaced marriage badly, and now have people who have no idea why sodomite "marriage" is wrong. Is "gay sex" not also "intended for pleasure"? With our theology of marriage gutted, we now have 55 million dead pre-born babies and legal same-sex "marriage", with pedophilia, bestiality, group marriages waiting in the wings.

I don't know what I did with my copy of Wheat's book, but hope it wound up at the land fill.
1

Jun 16, 2011

This book should stay in the 50's, when the idea of the wife as second-class citizen was normal. This book should either be massively updated, or discontinued. It should absolutely not be recommended to young couples nowadays without huge caveats about its insulting ideas about women. (Instead, I would wholeheartedly recommend The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun. Don't sweat the title, it's a beautiful treatise on intimacy in marriage.)

I haven't read This book should stay in the 50's, when the idea of the wife as second-class citizen was normal. This book should either be massively updated, or discontinued. It should absolutely not be recommended to young couples nowadays without huge caveats about its insulting ideas about women. (Instead, I would wholeheartedly recommend The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun. Don't sweat the title, it's a beautiful treatise on intimacy in marriage.)

I haven't read all of this book, and I am sure the sex tips and the trouble-shooting are very useful to married couples experiencing problems. However, the chapter on "How to be a Perfect Wife" portrayed a very unrealistic, unhealthy, anti-feminist, and out-of-date view of marriage. There is no chapter on "How to be a Perfect Husband," or even a good husband, or a decent human being: the onus is on the wife to be perfect, to be fresh and perfumed at all times to be her most desirable, and not to "let herself go"--with the omission seeming to say that husbands are already perfect and must not be questioned.

For the authors, their audience being a two-career household is not even an option: the wife is expected to stay home, so that she can clean the house, keep the children clean and happy, cook, and do such things as take naps during the daytime so that she can stay up late to support her husband if he has to stay up late. There is no mention of the possibility that having the wife stay at home may not be an option for your economic situation, or not be your preference as a woman who is a fully realized individual with her own goals, or even that the husband (being his own individual and having all the rights and goals open to women as well) might choose to stay at home and the wife work.

Gaye Wheat writes that a wife should never decline her husband's sexual advances if she's not in the mood. She writes that secular counselors will tell women that it is okay to say no, but "as a Christian" she thinks that a Christian woman should never say no but "pray to God for strength" and keep concentrating on the inner mantra that "This is pleasing to me. This is pleasant to my body. I am experiencing nice sensations." However, if the husband is not in the mood, he can surely say no, and this is the wife's fault for not keeping the house clean enough, the kids happy enough, and planning too many things for the husband to do.

All of this is absurd and infuriating. I and five of my adult friends (both men and women) were horrified, disgusted, and enraged with sections of this book read aloud. Husbands and wives should support EACH OTHER: this is not a one-way street. Women are not slaves in their own homes anymore. And husbands don't want them to be, either. ...more
2

July 21, 2015

No reference to God's purposes for marriage
A weakness of this book is that it fails to locate God's purpose for copulation within God's purposes for marriage, or even with any reference to them. God ordained marriage for companionship, procreation, and protection from uncleanness-- but Dr. Wheat leaves that all aside and speaks only of pleasure. The book's assumption that contraception is normal for married couples is a natural outflow of its unmooredness from God's purposes for marriage.

Ultimately, Wheat is satisified if married couples have fun, but God has ordained that the fun is a byproduct of fruitfulness. Married couples need to have that opened up to them, and they won't get it from this book.
5

May 24, 2018

Sex has WAY more meaning after reading this together.
Must read whether you and your husband/fiancee are Christians or not. This book describes innate instinctual habits and feelings relating to your mate sexually. THAT. MAKE. SENSE. Must read for virgins into marriage. Must read for couples going on 30years together. This book helps you understand how to honor, please, respect, and love your mate.
4

Jul 19, 2015

I read this many years ago, and have been giving it away in my pre-marital counseling, also for many years. I recently decided I ought to read it again, and was pleased to see that the book had weathered the years well. There are parts that are a bit too "medically sounding," but there is a lot of good info here for young couples. I guess I will continue giving it away.
4

July 25, 2017

Good prep for wedding
Growing up in a family that didn't talk about sex and school didn't provide the medical/scientific explanation, this was a helpful read in preparation for the wedding night
2

August 22, 2013

Not happy.
We were recommended this book by a friend of my wife's. I was expecting some form of a discussion on sex as a whole and the benefits and religious aspects of sex and God. All I found was a medical dissertation on anatomy and the phrase "and the man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife" many times as this is somehow a fact of something. He did talk about infections and medical conditions. I found several instances of the author bashing males for being "selfish". My opinion if your looking for an anatomical look at sex and the medical conditions involved this book is great if your looking for anything to do with sex, pleasure, or God find a different book.

I only wouldn't give this 1 star because at least the anatomical information is somewhat interesting.
1

Feb 26, 2008

Written from a man's perspective, I felt like I4P was insensitive to women. The tone of the book was cold and matter-of-fact. Funny line, "if you do this...I guarantee..." There are no such guarantees because all bodies are different. The first edition was published ages ago -- and though it has been updated, it certainly feels out of date.

Books I'd recommend instead:
A Celebration of Sex (by Roseneau): For the couple, comprehensive, written by a licensed psychologist, Christian sex therapist.

Written from a man's perspective, I felt like I4P was insensitive to women. The tone of the book was cold and matter-of-fact. Funny line, "if you do this...I guarantee..." There are no such guarantees because all bodies are different. The first edition was published ages ago -- and though it has been updated, it certainly feels out of date.

Books I'd recommend instead:
A Celebration of Sex (by Roseneau): For the couple, comprehensive, written by a licensed psychologist, Christian sex therapist.

Sheet Music (by Leman): A fun, light book that is also very informative.

Intimate Issues (by Dillow): For the woman and the woman's sake.
...more
5

December 7, 2018

This is a great book! It contained wonderful information for all couples.
I really enjoyed this book. I shared things in it with my wife and we enjoyed discussing various aspects of the book. It gave me a new scriptural perspective of sex in marriage that I like. I plan on giving it to my children prior to marriage. Thanks for writing it.
4

May 22, 2011

Extremely helpful. I liked this book more than Sheet Music, but I suspect that my preference is just a matter of personal taste. Wheat is a physician, so he includes a lot of medical information that Leman, as a psychologist, is simply not qualified to give. Parts of this book read like a textbook, which I liked--the matter-of-fact tone made the whole thing less awkward. More like hearing a doctor or science teacher talk about sex (as opposed to hearing your pastor or psychologist talk about Extremely helpful. I liked this book more than Sheet Music, but I suspect that my preference is just a matter of personal taste. Wheat is a physician, so he includes a lot of medical information that Leman, as a psychologist, is simply not qualified to give. Parts of this book read like a textbook, which I liked--the matter-of-fact tone made the whole thing less awkward. More like hearing a doctor or science teacher talk about sex (as opposed to hearing your pastor or psychologist talk about it). However, unlike most medical texts on sex, Wheat comes from an explicitly Christian and biblical worldview, and saturates his practical scientific explanations and recommendations in biblical truth, which is incredibly comforting for those looking for a scientifically reliable resource that has not been (as) tainted by the secular view of sex.

However, this is not a list of does and don'ts--Wheat encourages readers to honor their spouses, and he explains various aspects of sex and reproduction, but by and large he does not condone or condemn specific activities or practices. This is most notable in the section on birth control. Wheat is staunchly pro-life and opposes all clearly abortifacient methods (such as the morning after pill). However, he does not address the morality of birth control in and of itself (that is, whether it is morally acceptable to try to divorce sex from procreation). But he is very clear that he does not intend to tell couples what to do. His goal is to inform them about the various methods and let them make their own decisions. So if you're looking for a book to tell you what to do/not do, this is not the book for you. But if you want a moderately detailed medical guide chocked full of practical advice, this is an excellent resource.

Wheat includes an especially helpful section on what to expect on the honeymoon, and also spends a fair amount of time walking the reader through practical solutions to common problems married couples face. And all his advice is under-girded by the biblical principles of selfless service and honest communication.

The final chapter of the book does present the gospel, but I would have loved to see the gospel message permeate the rest of the text a bit more thoroughly. Still, for a Christian take on sex in marriage, I doubt you'll find better than this. ...more
3

October 6, 2016

Great content and information
Great content and information, but very dry reading. It is a very clinical approach to understanding intimacy and sexual pleasure. With that said it is more informational than exciting.
3

March 3, 2015

Three Stars
Required reading for our marriage counseling… well written, but some of the advice was not practical for us.
4

June 17, 2016

K.Price
This is an easy read with information I believe can resurrect sex in marriage and draw couples in a closer relationship with the one who created sex. It is a good start for those who are contemplating marriage.
5

Aug 06, 2013

This is an excellent book for couples experiencing sexual dysfunction who want quick, accurate medical answers for their symptoms and challenges. It is not flowery. It gets directly to the point. Couples need not read the whole book. Just read through the table of contents and try chapters til you find your issue. Then head to the doctor's office with a possible diagnosis in hand so that you can be treated (if necessary). Most if the issues in this book require simple changes or manipulation a This is an excellent book for couples experiencing sexual dysfunction who want quick, accurate medical answers for their symptoms and challenges. It is not flowery. It gets directly to the point. Couples need not read the whole book. Just read through the table of contents and try chapters til you find your issue. Then head to the doctor's office with a possible diagnosis in hand so that you can be treated (if necessary). Most if the issues in this book require simple changes or manipulation a that a couple can master in a matter of weeks in order to eliminate these dysfunctions completely. This book was a huge help for my husband and I many years ago when I was first introduced to it! ...more
4

Sep 22, 2013

I read this book as part of my premarital counseling. I found it Biblically based and encouraging, casting marriage in a very positive light. It is extremely detailed in regard to the physical act of lovemaking in a Christian marriage and I would recommend it be approached carefully and with consideration of timing in a persons life. I would recommend this book for married couples and couples preparing for marriage.

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