3.95

1

May 17, 2013

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Allow me to summarize every Dan Brown novel ever:

An unsuspecting but intelligent protagonist is called up in the middle of the night. Someone very powerful and possibly related with the authorities needs his expertise that only the protagonist can provide. A well-known figure has died and that started a chain of events with catastrophic consequences. The authorities need our protagonist's help to solve a puzzle left by our instigator just before he died, which has some clue in to the nature of Allow me to summarize every Dan Brown novel ever:

An unsuspecting but intelligent protagonist is called up in the middle of the night. Someone very powerful and possibly related with the authorities needs his expertise that only the protagonist can provide. A well-known figure has died and that started a chain of events with catastrophic consequences. The authorities need our protagonist's help to solve a puzzle left by our instigator just before he died, which has some clue in to the nature of our ticking time bomb.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to him, a secret organization has dispatched an assassin who must fulfill tasks that would have huge social ramifications all throughout the world. What the assassin and the secret organization don’t know is that the purpose of the assassin/secret organization and the purpose of the person directing the assassin/secret organization, which is our antagonist, is entirely different.

While our protagonist is running from the assassin and solving said puzzle (which has to be solved within 24 hours), he is joined by a young, beautiful and intelligent woman related somehow with dead man/instigator. At the very last moments of the book we have a final reveal: the protagonist knew the antagonist from the very start! He was being manipulated the whole time!

The book ends with the antagonist succeeding somehow. The protagonist and the readers are left with a moral question on whether the antagonist is truly the villain... or did he do something that actually benefits the whole world.

--

Is Inferno different from other Dan Brown books you ask? No it's not. There are minor variations to Brown's tried and tested formula, but it will not add anything to your reading experience. The book is recycled to its core. In fact, depending on how many of Brown's books you have read, you can see the twists coming based on the number of pages left.

tl;dr: Don't waste your time
...more

4

Jan 15, 2013

I guess this will fulfill my yearly quota for Mickey Mouse watch-clad academics who solve ancient conspiracy filled puzzles.

- - -

Updated 5/31: Sometimes, I feel like Dan Brown is my nemesis.

In interviews, he comes off as a smart, earnest guy (if a bit of an academic dweeb*) who has an obsession for puzzles, old art and conspiracy theories, but also as a guy who has no idea how to laugh at himself. He seems to take his own work very seriously, and gets his feelings hurt by even the eensiest I guess this will fulfill my yearly quota for Mickey Mouse watch-clad academics who solve ancient conspiracy filled puzzles.

- - -

Updated 5/31: Sometimes, I feel like Dan Brown is my nemesis.

In interviews, he comes off as a smart, earnest guy (if a bit of an academic dweeb*) who has an obsession for puzzles, old art and conspiracy theories, but also as a guy who has no idea how to laugh at himself. He seems to take his own work very seriously, and gets his feelings hurt by even the eensiest teeny baby criticism. He writes the same four or five characters over and over in every book he’s ever written. He writes books that have sold millions of copies but he has no idea how to write a character that doesn’t flounce around his stories like a puppet with his hand up its ass. He seems to enjoy writing books that will make people tear their hair out in fits of aplopleptic rage. Once, I’m pretty sure he compared himself to Shakespeare, but I can’t find the article right now so you’ll just have to trust me, I guess. He completely disavows the notion that he writes with a formula**. The public image he’s created for himself sometimes gives me a strong urge to chew up nearby scrap paper and then spit it at the back of his head. And I’ve never hocked a spitball in my life.

*I say this as a former academic dweeb myself, so don’t go crying into your Cheerios, Dan.

**The Dan Brown Formula: Something mysterious/creepy/violent/potentially life-changing happens, setting into motion a chain of events that can only be stopped/uncovered for what they really are by our Protagonist, an intelligent middle-aged gentleman who happens to be an expert in his field, but also in the specific areas necessary to saving the world/uncovering a mystery/solving puzzles laid out for some unknown reason by a shady Antagonist (more on him later). Protagonist is always handsome, extremely well-educated, and single. He purposesly sets himself apart from the main populace, observing the common culture and placing it historical context rather than participating. Protagonist has one or two defining traits that will be mentioned over and over again in lieu of characterization. Protagonist, with the help of a beautiful (usually young) woman who finds him handsome and is generally impressed by him, solves a series of mysteries/puzzles in order to accomplish a goal. Protagonist is in constant danger from shady Antagonist, who usually has issues of his own, probably psychological, usually also sexual and religious. Antagonist always seeks to change the world in a negative way, either by altering the world’s perception of something it holds dear, or by endangering lives. Protagonist is nearly always fooled by the presence of a Traitor, who hides in plain sight as a kind, intelligent, and resourceful person until it is time to do the betraying. There are five million plot twists. Protagonist saves the world with his brain (never his brawn). Protagonist and Girl ride off into sunset (this part is metaphorical.) The End.

His books are similarly easy to riff on, and Inferno is no exception. Actually, as the fourth Robert Langdon book, it’s the easiest, because it’s becoming increasingly obvious through repetition what his limited repertoire of tricks consists of. Namely: Repetitive plot, repetitive characters, the traitor, the global organization, the puzzle plot (for no reason at all in this one seemingly), etc, etc. See above formula. But the Langdon books in particular have their own special vocabulary. For Langdon himself, you can’t go two pages without one of the following being mentioned: the Harris Tweed that he wears (in apparent defiance of the establishment which scorns the apparel as ‘nerdy’?), his Mickey Mouse watch, the fact that he is in exceptional shape for his age because he swims every morning, his great head of hair (something always noted by other characters, not Langdon himself), having characters applaud or notice how handsome Langdon is, young chicks falling for him all the time, and my personal favorite, how the only thing he thinks about besides his scholarly pursuits is that one time as a child he got stuck in a well, and apparently he never really left. It’s apparent to me that Dan Brown clearly works out his own fantasies, desires, and frustrations in the pages of his books. Bottom line: there’s a lot to criticize in a Dan Brown book.

HOWEVER.

(This is where this review will take a 180 and flip positions, so if you’re one of those people who are uncomfortable admitting that even the worst written book might have something worthwhile to offer (THE PLEBES AND THE STUPIDS LIKE IT SO I MUST NEVER) back out from this page slowly and go elsewhere on the interwebs.)

Here is my point to counteract – or maybe encompass is the better word – the points above. Even if the above points are true, and I believe they are, they do not affect my enjoyment of the book. Look, you don’t read a Dan Brown novel for great writing. You just don’t***. You read a Dan Brown novel to be carried along on a plot going the same exact speed of one of those fancy foreign high-speed trains. You read a Dan Brown book to see historical facts and famous pieces of art placed in new context, or maybe just to learn something. You read it for the secrets and the conspiracies and the ridiculously high stakes the plot hinges on. You read it for the red herrings and the betrayals. (If you’re like me, you also read it so that every time Dan Brown writes something with a Dan Brown flair, you can shake your head or laugh loudly or use whatever sort of exclamations you prefer – Oh, Dan Brown, you say, mentally patting him on the head with simultaneous affection and frustration.) You read it to find out what crazy thing he’s written about next, and to find out just how many and what types of people he’s going to piss off next. You read it to be fucking entertained. In that respect, this book is pretty much a success.

***If Dan Brown is your paragon for good writing, please for the love of God send me an email or a private message or a tweet, and I will provide you with a list of alternatives with which to raise your standards.

Also, for as much shit as people give Dan Brown, I think he’s good at quite a lot of things that get overlooked most of the time. He’s really good at research, for one thing – the wealth of historical detail he uncovers in his books is extremely thorough, and I’d be willing to bet the amounts of information he uncovers that he doesn’t put in his books is rather large. I also think it’s notable that the historical and artistic bits he does include are nearly always very interesting. For another thing, in terms of the genre he’s writing in (the thriller), his writing is top notch. I’ve read a lot of thrillers by other authors, and in comparison, Dan Brown is something of a wordsmith. On a related note, the purpose of the thriller is to thrill — to create suspense. So while one might consider his short chapters that 99% of the time end in cliffhangers as ‘hacky,’ you might also want to consider them ‘effective’. They serve their purpose — they get you to turn the page. And finally, and maybe most significantly, Dan Brown has a definite talent for finding our cultural panic buttons and then pushing on them real hard. The effect of this is that he works through in his novels issues that we face every day, and he does so in a venue that can be sold candy-coated to a consumer mass public that would otherwise barf up similar information in reflexive panic.

The last thing I want to say about Dan Brown and this book is the reason that I ended up giving it four stars instead of three. That reason is ballsiness. He tries to break up his formula in this one, and in some ways he succeeds. It was an interesting experiment in Inferno to have the plot start with Langdon unable to recall where he is or why he’s in Italy, with a gunshot wound to the head. From there, he has to piece together his recent past and solve a mystery he’s already solved once before all over again. This adds an extra layer of confusion to the plot that his previous three Langdon books were missing. He also shakes up his infamous traitor plot a little, but I won’t say too much more about that just in case you’re going to read it for yourself. But the most significant reason I say he has balls is the ending to this book. (view spoiler)[In thrillers like this one, the hero always saves the day. The world is returned to its status quo, maybe a little richer, maybe a little more cynical, depending on whose book it is you’re reading. But he always succeeds in whatever madcap tomfoolery he’s been participating in. But in this one? Uh, he doesn’t. Langdon and his associates attempt to stop the mass dispersal of a virus that will sterilize 1/3 of the world’s population for all time, and they fail. This means that any future Langdon book will take place in a world that has been irrevocably changed. (hide spoiler)] I mean, that’s just unheard of in this genre. I won’t get into the politics of it, but in terms of story, I really think that ending saved this book.

I could probably go on, but as this is my 52nd review of the year and it’s almost 2,000 words, I think I’ll just leave it at that.

(I still kind of want to throw spitballs at the back of Dan Brown’s thick head of hair. Anybody know if he’s doing a signing in AZ?)
...more

2

Jun 04, 2013

Instead of reading any more Dan Brown books, I'm just going to complete the following "Mad Lib" with my sister. Feel free to play along.


UNTITLED DAN BROWN BOOK MAD LIB

1) a number ______
2) month that has at least 28 days __________________
3) adverb that denotes stress ____________________
4) pick a European city...any European city _______________________
5) title given to a respected educator or professional _____________________
6) first name ___________________________
7) pretentious last name Instead of reading any more Dan Brown books, I'm just going to complete the following "Mad Lib" with my sister. Feel free to play along.


UNTITLED DAN BROWN BOOK MAD LIB

1) a number ______
2) month that has at least 28 days __________________
3) adverb that denotes stress ____________________
4) pick a European city...any European city _______________________
5) title given to a respected educator or professional _____________________
6) first name ___________________________
7) pretentious last name (bonus points if synonym for "Brown") _______________________
8) prestigious museum or institute located in city chosen for #4 __________________________
9) famous work of an artistic or religious nature _____________________
10) any old secret organization or cult you feel like picking on this week _________________________
11) social or political cause du jour __________________________
12) adverb that indicates someone is an idiot ____________________
13) founding member of christianity and/or a member of Aerosmith ______________________
14) a bad way for humanity to come to end ___________________________________
15) list 5 cities in the world you've ever wanted to visit___________________________________
16) list 10 works of art/literature connected to or presently located in the cities from #15 __________________________
17) a number less than 48 ______________
18) a fraction ______________
19) a person with a genetic malformity ___________________
20) a number over 100 ____________
21) word that means "all" or "every" (feel free to use either or both) ______________
22) activity that humans do just because they like to or want to ________________________
23) nonsensical word that means "pretty swell" _______________________

-------------------------------------------------------------

ROBERT LANGDON, #___ (1)

Late one night in _________(2), Robert Langdon finds himself _____________ (3) running through the streets of ______________(4) having recently been contacted by _________________ (5) ____________ (6) _____________________ (7) of the _____________________________(8). ________________ (6) has contacted Langdon to decipher clues discovered in _______________________ (9). Before he has a chance to fully devote his attention to the task at hand, a fanatic from the __________________________(10) attacks Langdon and his host, revealing a conspiracy to violently end ____________________________(11). Although Langdon has fallen victim to this same plot twist numerous times and by the same formulaic plot and characters, he once again _______________(12) follows a new sidekick who will ultimately betray Langdon and/or turn out to be the last descendent of _______________________(13). In the process of saving everyone from __________________(14), Langdon visits ______________________________________________________(15) and sees ___________________________________(16). Within less than _________(17) hours, Langdon manages to solve __________ (18) riddles, be nearly killed by ____________________(19), and mentions his Mickey Mouse watch at least ________(20) times. Meanwhile, the reader has seen pretty much ____________(21) plot twist or surprise thrown his/her way. And at no point does Langdon ever _____________________(22). In the end, Langdon returns to Harvard knowing that symbols are truly ____________________________(23).

-------------------------------------------------------------
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So there it is. The "formula" (which is what I hope Brown names his next Langdon book). If we're lucky, it will also have at least 100 chapters, each one ending on a note that makes us think of SNL's Really!?! with Seth and Amy skits.

I haven't read The Lost Symbol, but that book must have been horrendous considering how many reviews of this one that start out by saying, "At least it was better than his last book..." (OFFICIALLY NEVER READING THE LOST SYMBOL)

Good night, and may you not wake up with amnesia in Italy tomorrow. ...more

3

Feb 02, 2014

(B) 74% | More than Satisfactory
Notes: Lucky Robert Langdon, always adventuring with sexy, brainy women awed by his knowledge of art and symbology.

5

Feb 10, 2013

The most Dangerous, Different trip with Robert Langdon with Brilliant Twist ending.

That the Movie re-twisted into a normal boring Hollywood ending that blow mind of how bad the novel turned into clichéd stop the bomb movie.

It starts with Inferno Nightmare

Waking up in Florence far from home,not knowing how he even got here

With a head wound and a hellish nightmare of inferno to come
And by trying to solve the codes & puzzles of his chaotic situation, he find out that he must travel again...and The most Dangerous, Different trip with Robert Langdon with Brilliant Twist ending.

That the Movie re-twisted into a normal boring Hollywood ending that blow mind of how bad the novel turned into clichéd stop the bomb movie.

It starts with Inferno Nightmare

Waking up in Florence far from home,not knowing how he even got here

With a head wound and a hellish nightmare of inferno to come
And by trying to solve the codes & puzzles of his chaotic situation, he find out that he must travel again...and again

Although authorities and assissants hired by mysterious 'Consortium' trying to catch him and have all the means to track him, What's worst that they don't hesitate to shooting pullets on him..

And This time all that is not for the sake of Vatican Cardinals, or to unlock a code kept hidden by secret successors of the Knights Templar, or saving The Mason's Secrets..
This time it's for the sake of the Globe...The World we're living in.


The Plot
*********
Based on a hell of a theory by 19th century Malthus , predicted the real current chaos of the global over population and its hell of consequences, the story get its hell of plot, which as I said more dangerous,really darker than ever and even more confusing.


For me the light Dan shed on this problem really scared the hell out of me.
and encrusting it with Dante's Inferno wasn't really helping but to increase the fear of the future...

Actually that made me a bit confused and somehow taking side with the 'villain' in this novel...it was a serious dilemma , I didn't know how I really want this novel to end..
But Dan Brown really know how to make a suitable ending, as I loved his ending in his Debut Novel 'Digital Fortress' cause let's admit that ending a bomb in the last 3 seconds is silly ending unless it's done smartly and perfect...

I won't say more about the plot, since I think telling even the tiniest bit of it would be a bit of spoiler of the thrilling novel.

----------------------
The Symbols
*********

Though it's different since the very early beginning...as Dan Brown choice was of work of literal, as he said at the Illustrated Edition preface..


Yet it still packed with Historical, Symbols and Art references
The splendid tour/chase in the early morning of Florence..

The amazing perfect choice of Venice to be a metaphor for the crises of over population.

Venice hosted a staggering number of tourists every year—an estimated one-third of 1 percent of the world’s population—some twenty million visitors in the year 2000. With the additional billion added to the earth’s population since that year, the city was now groaning under the weight of three million more tourists per year. Venice, like the planet itself, had only a finite amount of space, and at some point would no longer be able to import enough food, dispose of enough waste, or find enough beds for all those who wanted to visit it.


Even the small glimpse of Philippines with the metaphor of the inferno of Malthus' Theory.

And that other great metaphor of the New met the Old, East met the West , the Christian art met the Islamic symbols..the End of our Journey here..Turkey.

All these secret places, and marvellous golden Art , Halls and Buildings..




Mixing that all as usual with the thriller packed novel..


The Characters
**************
Characters here was perfect too... the special mind of Sienna Brooks leads Robert Langdon just as Vargil leads Dante through his Inferno...

The Silver Beauty of Life and Health verses the Mask of Death...the Transhumanist ambitious..who turned manic - Again I can't blame him much, I almost turned one like him reading this novel.

Those characters will help in other kind of references, science, medical information, trivial ones about how mind work and the conversion from dark topics -like this novel- to lighter ones ,say Cute Cats Videos..

Even highly intellectual users displayed an instinctual tendency toward denial. According to the study, the vast majority of university students, after clicking on a depressing news article about arctic ice melt or species extinction, would quickly exit that page in favor of something trivial that purged their minds of fear; favorite choices included sports highlights, funny cat videos, and celebrity gossip.

And of course Every Character is deep enough ...and surprises are always guaranteed with Dan Brown..
(view spoiler)[The shocking scene of the "gay love scene" and the characters 'reverse' is really mind blowing, loved it sooo much. (hide spoiler)]
------------------
The Ending
*********
These are dark times my friends, dark times...

And I believe That a story like this required too much efforts to make a good ending..

Yet It's perfect to me ... as satisfying as having a watch for Christmas of my favorite character :)

As I said I was facing the same mixing feeling about how I wanted his Debut Novel 'Digital Fortress' would end..And same here.. and Dan Brown really made it right.

It's a great story , a great enriching journey ...That's why I recommended the Illustrated Edition at my pre-review "here ---> (view spoiler)[

Jan.2015Proudly Present my Second copy of the Illustrated Edition ,This one is a gift, AND SIGNED :)

August 2014 : The Wait is almost over..WoohOOO

Will be out by 11/11 Finally , Can't wait, I may read it finally by Christmas or the new year, or may be at Angel & Demons My-Reading-Anniversary next Feb :)

October 2013 : More Temptations
No Word yet for an Illustrated Ed., And the worst part now is :

THE ARABIC ED. IS OUT...Which is mean for me ONE THING

And BAM the same bookstore I first saw the book at doing this MASSIVE DISCOUNT

I really don't know what can I do :( :( :(

8th May : Well Again Dan Brown's Novel make a Hell of Mixed Reviews..
Some Loved it..Some just liked it..Some Hated it..and some think it's just a..

Well It's Inferno ..What do ya think? It must be a Hell of A Read...As It became a hell of Reviews..
Still Waiting any news about the Illustrated Edition.

*******Update about Illustrations from Inferno*********
*****************Spoiler Free*****************
14th May : Dear God ,give me strength ..
I was in Cairo for business and It's at only one of the famous bookshops in Egypt at the same worldwide release day..It was still early morning and it was just there...I was checking my facebook mobile on the way,and Dan Brown's page announcing this:

God, When you see the book's adorable ,mystic cover..holding it..Oh how I Adore when I hold the book itself, flesh and blood "Cover and Papers"
I must try to start on my Lost Symbol as soon as possible,That may slow me down till the Illustrated Edition is out.
There's some Illustrations from the Inferno on Mr. Dan Langdon Brown on his face book page
Wish to those who start the book full entertainment and enjoy the reading...Thank you

*********************************************
8th May : Don't know should I order it, as regular Hardcover? or wait for the Illustrated Edition release?The problem is that's no any Info or news about it.
I finished Da Vinci Codeand Angels and Demons with Illustrated edition,and got very obsessed with it,was a great help actually

"My Library of Dan Brown's Illustrated books ,with my other favorite books"
so I ordered Lost Symbol and just got it...So should I wait for Inferno's Illustrated or not and start order it? ! :( Can't decide.

******************************

10th Feb : Can't wait... I just start at Angels and Demons as soon as I hear that book is coming up... I loved the two movies for Robert Langdon already but now I see the 1st novel is way better and much detailed.

(hide spoiler)]

That would make your journey easier than searching while reading, yet you'll find the craving for more pictures and videos and may be a visit for these places..
That got me a big respect for the author who take all that time to make a Novel that perfectly written..

Also by the end , after the hell of adventure...you'll find your mind desperately in need for something funny as I said before like Funny Cats Videos.. after this Orwellian Novel...
The Hell of A Read..

Mohammed Arabey
From 16 Feb. 2015
To 25 Feb. 2015 ...more

2

Jun 01, 2013

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch’entrate. Or something.


Statue of Dante by Enrico Pazzi, Piazza Santa Croce, Florence

When I took this picture a couple of months ago, I thought Dante’s dour expression must be because he was pondering the horrors of hell. Now I think it’s because he was dwelling on the ignominy of having his masterpiece turned into this Dan Brown novel.

By the fourth book in the series, the formula has been well-established: Robert Langdon, the intrepid Harvard professor and “ Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch’entrate. Or something.


Statue of Dante by Enrico Pazzi, Piazza Santa Croce, Florence

When I took this picture a couple of months ago, I thought Dante’s dour expression must be because he was pondering the horrors of hell. Now I think it’s because he was dwelling on the ignominy of having his masterpiece turned into this Dan Brown novel.

By the fourth book in the series, the formula has been well-established: Robert Langdon, the intrepid Harvard professor and “symbologist,” must race against the clock to decode a series of obscure clues left by a madman to save humanity from destruction. The only thing surprising is that Langdon continues to be dumbfounded when he finds messages from shadowy cabals hidden in the pockets of his Harris Tweed. You’d think he’d be used to it by now.

Unfortunately, the book reads as part dressed-up travelogue, part Wikipedia entry. On the plus side, much of the discussion is about Florence, one of my favorite cities. Brown does name-check some good places (I’d agree with him that “No trip to the piazza [della Signoria] was complete without sipping an espresso at Caffè [sic] Rivoire.”) The problem is that these observations about Florentine tourist destinations are interspersed with scenes of our valiant heroes racing through the narrow streets, fleeing heavily armed paramilitary operatives who want to kill them. Langdon is never too distracted to pontificate about history and Renaissance art, but it's probably more likely that he would give the Frommer’s a rest during this particular tour.

(view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)]
Brown seems fixated on this statue of Hercules in the Palazzo Vecchio. It is rather. . . gripping. Picture hidden in spoiler because NSFW. Not safe for anybody really.

The real disappointment, though, is in the lost opportunity. A Dante-inspired thriller has a lot of possibilities, but this novel is strangely bloodless. It’s just a prolonged scavenger hunt (view spoiler)[that turns out to be pointless (hide spoiler)] designed to show off all the places Brown researched. I’m sure he had fun doing the research, but he never gives us more than any decent guidebook would. Brown has so much potential material, with the city of Dante, Michelangelo, Machiavelli, the Medici, and Savonarola. What he comes up with, though, is bland and forgettable. His bad guy doesn’t come close to stacking up against either history’s bad guys or Dante’s imagination. I don't think anyone reads Dan Brown's books expecting literary masterpieces, but a little excitement and unpredictability wouldn't hurt anyone.

I did read, though, that they locked the translators for this book in a secret bunker in Milan while they toiled at their work. It’s perhaps a bit too easy to draw an analogy between that and The Divine Comedy, so I’ll refrain, but maybe it could be the seed for Brown’s next book?


Death mask of Dante Alighieri, Palazzo Vecchio, Florence. Pivotal to the story.(view spoiler)[Or it would have been if Langdon's clue decryption actually made any difference to the outcome. (hide spoiler)] ...more

2

Jun 13, 2013

CHAPTER 1

Obscure reviewer Jane Steen sat in her modest study in cozy suburban Illinois and stared with horror at the object she held in her hands. Measuring nine-and-a-half by six-and-a-quarter by one-and-a-half inches, the object was encased in a shiny substance the overweight reviewer knew to be plastic.

A book of some kind.

To the little known reader’s brilliant mind and eidetic memory, identifying the book was a simple task. The labels affixed to the spine proclaimed its origin: the library. CHAPTER 1

Obscure reviewer Jane Steen sat in her modest study in cozy suburban Illinois and stared with horror at the object she held in her hands. Measuring nine-and-a-half by six-and-a-quarter by one-and-a-half inches, the object was encased in a shiny substance the overweight reviewer knew to be plastic.

A book of some kind.

To the little known reader’s brilliant mind and eidetic memory, identifying the book was a simple task. The labels affixed to the spine proclaimed its origin: the library. It was adorned with the terrifying profile of a red-cheeked man in a red cap and red cloak, surmounted by a series of concentric circles.

Red . . . The color of blood. And those circle things look like a target.

The reviewer’s hands trembled as her fingers traced the bold lettering on the book’s cover. “DAN BROWN . . . INFERNO.”

I have to review this?!

The reviewer knew that Dan Brown (born June 22, 1964) is an American author of thriller fiction who is best known for the 2003 bestselling novel, The Da Vinci Code. Brown's novels are treasure hunts set in a 24-hour period, and feature the recurring themes of cryptography, keys, symbols, codes, and conspiracy theories. His books have been translated into 52 languages, and as of 2012, sold over 200 million copies. Two of them, The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons, have been adapted into films.

I copied that straight out of Wikipedia.

CHAPTER 2

I am holding Inferno by Dan Brown and I have to review it, the plump, somewhat scruffily dressed, middle-aged woman recapped. Terror made her nauseous, but she bravely looked at her Goodreads updates to refresh her memory, reading the scathing comments she had left only days ago on the popular readers’ Web site.

Dan Brown is going to kill me!

The female reviewer recalled that Dan Brown is currently the twentieth highest selling author of all time and with only six books, he has achieved these sales writing fewer books than anyone above him on the list. The Robert Langdon series is currently the seventh highest selling series of all time.

Like Dan Brown, I do most of my research on the Web. Not the Internet. Dan Brown likes to talk about the Web. It sounds more . . . spidery.

The married reviewer felt an instant spark of attraction toward the sandy-haired author, who always seems to be wearing a tweed jacket in his photo shoots.

Could he be Robert Langdon in disguise?

CHAPTER 3

Overreacting wildly, the obscure critic overreacted for a few minutes, then got a grip on herself and scanned her updates. She noted that renowned author Dan Brown tends to get his tenses confused, loves to put identifiers in front of his characters’ names, and is inordinately fond of ellipses and loud punctuation such as exclamation points, question marks and interrobangs.

Why is that?!

Oh yes, and he loves italics, which pop up all over the place, not always readily identifiable with one particular character.

CHAPTER 4

The practically unknown reviewer picked up her copy of Inferno by Dan Brown, scanning its mysterious cover with the picture of the sage she now knew to be internationally famous poet Dante (c. 1265–1321), who was a major Italian poet of the Middle Ages. His Divine Comedy, originally called La Comedia and later called Divina by Boccaccio, is widely considered the greatest literary work composed in the Italian language and a masterpiece of world literature.

Gad, I love Wikipedia.

She remembered that bestselling author Dan Brown frequently recaps the previous action near the beginning of a chapter, and that his bestselling prose is scattered with information dumps so densely constituted that they resemble the excreta of the famed Friesian horse, a creature mentioned in the bestselling novel Inferno.

The reviewer’s eidetic memory roamed over the plot. She recalled that Robert Langdon, granite-jawed Harvard professor of symbology and art historian specializing in iconography, wakes up in Florence to find that he remembers nothing, people are apparently trying to kill him, and he is carrying a suggestively shaped container that contains a mysterious object. He is helped by pretty blonde ponytailed genius-IQd Sienna Brooks, who has the hots for him. And his confused memories recall a mysterious silver-haired attractive older woman who wants him to seek and find, and who undoubtedly will have the hots for him too.

Meanwhile, on the mysterious ship The Mendacium, facilitator Knowlton has just watched a video that is more terrifying than the most terrifying thing you can possibly imagine.

Dan Brown is fond of making his characters react with terror in the hope that the reader will also be terrified?

What is this book?!

CHAPTER 5

“Ah yes!” the clinically obese woman derided, not knowing that “deride” must have an object. She recalled that most of the plot of Inferno consisted of Langdon and Sienna running around famous tourist spots finding clues, while being chased by a leather-clad woman who turns out to be superfluous to the plot, a bleeding strangely dressed man who also, honestly, didn’t have much of a role except to increase dramatic tension, and some black-clad soldiers who weren’t really necessary either, except that they get to do all the dirty work like good little minions. As they pass various monuments, Langdon recalls large indigestible lumps of architectural and historical detail.

As the story lumbers to its end it picks up speed, with one quite nice bit of misdirection but otherwise the usual thriller fare of all the important stuff being packed into the last few pages so that the reader feels like a lot went on.

And then there was the ending . . .

CHAPTER 6

“I was outraged,” the reviewer recalled, outraged. How could everyone suddenly decide that the Evil Plan may, in fact, be a Jolly Good Thing? Why was the Evil Villain’s Number One not banged up in jail but instead allowed to work for the good guys?

And didn’t Dan Brown think through what he was proposing as Quite A Good Thing, Really?!

The reviewer ran her hands over the shiny cover of the bestselling novel Inferno by Dan Brown. She recalled that Langdon rides off smugly into the sunset of a brand new world without any thought for the social, economic, and religious consequences of what just happened. Not to mention the fact that a small bunch of white people take it upon themselves to re-engineer the fate of mankind without consulting the rest of the world.

And that’s supposed to be OK because they’re white, rich, and brilliant.

CHAPTER 7

The overweight woman gnashed her teeth dramatically and then, like renowned professor of symbology Robert Langdon, decided to settle down with a good book. Sensing it was time to wrap up her interminable review, there was one thought that still haunted her.

Dan Brown knows exactly what he’s doing.

The frequent recaps so the reader doesn’t lose his way . . . the italics that also serve as simplified reminders of what’s going on . . . the way the action takes place in tourist spots that are easily visited and quite easy to research . . . the very short chapters . . . the dropping of brand names . . .

He’s manipulating the Baby Boomers!?!

The reviewer realized that for an audience accustomed to a diet of CSI and the Discovery Channel, Dan Brown’s storytelling style is accessible and informative. Used to being given the potted version of history by talking heads as the camera zooms around in a dizzying series of filler shots, the average reader of Brown’s books will sink into a TV-induced-like stupor and, instead of thinking about the plot or the writing, will simply enjoy the experience and come back for more.

And that, thought the reviewer, is why Dan Brown is the novelist of the future.

Sensing it was time, really, to revert to a state of denial before that last thought took hold in her brain, the reviewer took one last look at the cover of the bestselling novel Inferno and sighed.

I can return it to the library and forget this ever happened . . . ...more

2

Jul 14, 2013

This is my first Dan Brown book and what can I say...it pretty much sucked.

I was kind of shocked. Yes, I had read a lot of disparaging comments about Brown’s writing, but I pushed them aside, figuring his books must be at least entertaining. Otherwise, why would he be so popular? And I rather like cheesy books. This one had a condescending tone though that grated on my nerves and sapped all the fun right out of the story. It was a tedious read.

First off, Brown’s characters are boring. There’s This is my first Dan Brown book and what can I say...it pretty much sucked.

I was kind of shocked. Yes, I had read a lot of disparaging comments about Brown’s writing, but I pushed them aside, figuring his books must be at least entertaining. Otherwise, why would he be so popular? And I rather like cheesy books. This one had a condescending tone though that grated on my nerves and sapped all the fun right out of the story. It was a tedious read.

First off, Brown’s characters are boring. There’s no depth or nuisance. Everybody talks and thinks alike. Their dialogue has no individuality. There are no intricate, personality conflicts. Brown also has the annoying tendency to tell you how brilliant and amazing his characters are ALL THE TIME, but he never really shows you why they are extraordinary.

Then there are the endless info dumps. OMG! Brown gives a Humanities lecture for every museum Langdon goes to (even when his characters are running for their lives). They’re not short little vignettes either that give character and life to a place. No, they’re long dry passages that seem to be cut and pasted straight from a travel brochure. Brown will use half a page to describe a statue that has NOTHING to do with the plot. I found his description on Botticelli’s Map of Hell to be somewhat questionable too.

My God! Langdon’s hand trembled slightly as he absorbed the macabre scene projected on the wall before him. No wonder I’ve been seeing images of death.

At his side, Sienna covered her mouth and took a tentative step forward, clearly entranced by what she was seeing.

The scene projected was a grim oil painting of human suffering—thousands of souls undergoing wretched tortures in various levels of hell. The underworld was portrayed as a cutaway across section of the earth into which plunged a cavernous funnel-shaped pit of unfathomable depth. This pit of hell was divided into descending terraces of increasing misery, each level populated by tormented sinners of every kind. Dark, grim, and terrifying … Botticelli had crafted his Map of Hell with a depressing palate of reds, sepias, and browns.”



What the hell is Brown talking about? The people are teeny weeny! How could Langdon and Sienna even see them? Yes I know it’s a nit. But it made me wonder… were all of Brown’s boring info dumps crap? They better not be, damn it! (To be honest, I didn’t bother to check). But if you’re going bore the snot out of me, at least make sure you’re boring me with accurate information.

The plot is probably the best part of this book. There were some twists and turns I didn’t see coming, and Brown practically ends every chapter in a cliff hanger, so the book kept moving. There are so many plot holes though, it was like a sponge. If you think too much about it, you’ll spend all your time rolling your eyes and fall out of your chair.

In the end, I’m amazed that Brown is a bestselling author. His writing is terrible. He tells instead of shows. He repeats everything at least twice, sometimes three or four times. He describes three amazing European cites, but doesn’t bring any of them to life. And his story starts up an interesting conversation about population and the apocalypse, but Brown never gives it any real thought. The ending was so sanctimonious and preachy, I wanted to toss the book across the room. Maybe without the book’s snooty tone, this could have been a fun and cheesy read, but Brown takes himself way too seriously.


I give 1 ½ stars.

Are all Brown’s books this bad? ...more

4

Jan 17, 2013

I really enjoyed this book. Thou personally I think it's a bit different than the other previous three books. The other three books have similarities in having a story plot that creating a really blur line between history and fiction. But in this fourth book, the history is like the inspiration of the fiction story, but I still liked it and gave it 3.5 stars.

I really enjoyed the thrill and excitement of Langdon adventure. And as a former international security student, I have an understanding I really enjoyed this book. Thou personally I think it's a bit different than the other previous three books. The other three books have similarities in having a story plot that creating a really blur line between history and fiction. But in this fourth book, the history is like the inspiration of the fiction story, but I still liked it and gave it 3.5 stars.

I really enjoyed the thrill and excitement of Langdon adventure. And as a former international security student, I have an understanding regarding on security threats and this book is really interesting especially in that part. We all know about biological weapon and act of terrorism, but this book offers something that I haven't thought about before regarding on that issue. And it is so exciting.

Overall, it is such an enjoyable read and very easy to digest. Thou it's not amazing, but still worth to read. :)

-----------------------------------------------------

I am just wishing that this book will be better than The Lost Symbol.. That one was a major fail of the series.. Hope it'll be amazing.. ...more

4

May 31, 2013

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrateorAbandon all hope, ye who enter here
Dante and Virgil approach the entrance to Hell
From the WorldofDante.org

The heat is on. There is, of course, a deadline. A mad scientist of a Dante super-fan, who takes theatrical delight in referring to himself as The Shade, would like to bring about a great renaissance for humanity, a reawakening similar to the one that occurred following the Black Plague. As with that earlier event, The Shade, a Batman villain if Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrateorAbandon all hope, ye who enter here
Dante and Virgil approach the entrance to Hell
From the WorldofDante.org

The heat is on. There is, of course, a deadline. A mad scientist of a Dante super-fan, who takes theatrical delight in referring to himself as The Shade, would like to bring about a great renaissance for humanity, a reawakening similar to the one that occurred following the Black Plague. As with that earlier event, The Shade, a Batman villain if ever there was one, would like to cull the world’s population by, oh, say, a third. Malthus lives, and has spawned a group of die-hard Transhumanists who think we and our planet would be a lot better off were there significantly fewer of us using up space, air, water, et al, and hogging the remotes. Robert Langdon, returned to duty after sundry life-threatening adventures in Angels & Demons, The Da Vinci Code, and The Lost Symbol, has been called in to decipher the clues to where and how Mister Zobrist, (we can’t call him The Shade for 463 pages, can we?) conveniently dead in the opening, has set his viral bomb to go off. Or was he? Langdon wakes up in an ER, with a head wound, a distinctly fuzzy recollection of the recent past and thinks he is back in Massachusetts. Brunelleschi didn't design any buildings in New England. That large dome you see out the window means you are in Florence. Oops. And, by the way, there is a well armed, nicely leather-clad biker person heading down the hall, weapons blazing. Check please. He and Doc McSmokin’, a 208 IQ, blonde, pony-tailed physician, named Sienna Brooks, dash out ahead of the ordnance and the game is afoot. This offers an example of something that is entirely depressing. Had that been an American hospital there is no way he could have gotten out without having to sign insurance forms or promissory notes, guns blazing or not. (Mister Langdon. We need you to sign here, here, here, and initial here, here and here. You, with the gun, take a number and have a seat.)

Woodward and Bernstein, in All the Presidents Men, report on G. Gordon Liddy holding his hand over a flame at a dinner party to impress someone or other. He held it long enough to singe himself, and cause alarm in those present. When he was asked “What’s the trick?” he answered, “The trick is not minding.” Reading a book of Daniel Brown’s is a far cry from holding one’s hand over an open flame. But there are elements to reading his work that are certainly painful. There are benefits to be had, things to be learned, issues to be raised, but there are clichés to be endured, characterizations to be tolerated, dei ex machina to be ignored. I suppose one might think of it as a form of Purgatory. You can certainly enjoy the good while putting up with the bad. The trick is not minding the latter.

One does not descend into reading Dan Brown’s infernal novel expecting literary power. There are certain formulae at work, and if you are not prepared to be led along, keeping the blinders firmly affixed for the duration, you might do better to read something else with the several hours it takes to work your way through the levels in Inferno. (Yes, there are some) We do not expect to find work similar to that of, say, Louise Erdrich, or Ron Rash, and it would be unfair, not to say unkind, to apply to Brown the metrics applied to writers of more serious fiction. But then, what standards should we apply?

There are two general qualities that merit our attention here, and more specific elements within each. Is it entertaining? Is it informative?

EntertainingDoes the story engage out attention? Or do we find ourselves wandering off?
Is it fast-paced?
Do we care about the characters?
Is it fun?
In short, does this make a good beach read?InformativeDoes it teach us something new?
Is the information interesting?
Does it address some larger issue, one of actual significance?
Does it make sense?ENTERTAINMENTDoes the story engage our attention? Sure. While not, for me at least, as engaging as The DaVinci Code, I kept turning all 463 pages, eager to find out what there was to be found, info and plot-wise. But I was not exactly panting to get back to the book at every free moment. Is it fast-paced? Is the Pope Argentinian? This is what Brown does. Aside from the sort of occasional interruptions that might give the wearer of a pace-maker the sweats, (noted in more detail below) he keeps things moving along. I was reminded of an old (1912) adventure tale, A Princess of Mars, by Edgar Rice Burroughs. That book was also a series. Battle, capture, rescue, escape, repeat, with bits of information about some underlying subject in the book tossed in to grease the narrative wheels. Ditto here.

Speaking of greasing, you will need to have some eye drops handy to avoid chafing from frequent eye-rolling. It seems that every time there is a need to gain access to some large institution, Brown trots out what seems almost a running joke of Robert Langdon having some relationship with the person in charge. I bet if Langdon needed 3am access to the UFO museum in Roswell, we would learn that he had tracked aliens with the museum director and had contributed a live specimen from the Crab Nebula at some time in the not too distant past. The Sulabh International Museum of Toilets? It wasn’t Washington who poohed there, or presented a monograph at the esteemed institution that resulted in such a large inflow of contributions that the institution was flush for a considerable period.

In a related matter, I was reminded of two cinematic clichés in particular. In one, the hero and heroine pause as the world collapses around them to engage in a lengthy soulful smooch. (Pay no attention to that incoming missile. Enjoy.) In the second, a child dashes back to the burning-building or alien-infested-spaceship to retrieve her (choose one - favorite stuffy, kitten, puppy, photo of long dead (but really only missing) mother or father). Brown spares us kittens and overlong liplocks, for the most part, but while Langdon and this volume’s Bond girl are dashing from persistent threats like a Florida race track rabbit, (who are those dogs?) Brown pauses the action every so often, inserts himself and his research into the narrative (Bob, Si, relax. We’ll pick this up again after lunch), and offers up the occasional art history lesson. I’m not saying that these are not informative and sometimes fun (as in the case of a particularly organ-rich Plaza della Signoria)


The Fountain of Neptune from The Museums of Florence

but it does alter the flow in a breathlessly paced novel to…um…take a breather. All right guys, up and at ‘em. Ready, set, flee. Do we care about the characters? Truthfully, it is tough not to care about a character that has the face of Tom Hanks ironed onto it, but yeah, I guess, although a lot less than a whole lot of other fictional people. It is fun to see Langdon attempting to recover his memory and figure out who that mysterious woman he keeps seeing in vision-flashes might be. Sienna Galore has a pretty interesting back-story, a large brain, and the usual physical assets required for Brown’s kicked-up Bond-girl roles. So sure, why not. Aside from those two, only a little here and there. Character is not the thing in Dan Brown books. Is it fun? As a straight up read, forgetting for the moment one’s analytical inclinations, yes. Brown does revel in puzzles and there are more secrets embedded in Inferno than there are candied items in a fruit cake. And some are quite delicious. (OK, I hereby out myself as a weirdo who likes fruit cake). Unlike one’s experience with fruit cake, however, you will miss out on that weighty feeling of having ingested a brick. Literarily, Inferno is a lot more like chiffon cake than its denser cousin. Also there are enough twists to keep the cap machines at the Nogara Coke bottling factory busy for a long time. Does it make a good beach read? Assolutamente

INFORMATIONDoes it teach us something new?Si! We learn of a mysterious transnational entity, that Brown swears is based on a real organization, that smoothes out the curves so that people of questionable motives, but certain resources, can go about their business unimpeded. The head of this group might have been well served with a fluffy white kitty and a pinky ring. Brown offers some nifty tour guides to this and that location in several cities, and a fair bit of history on Dante and his most famous bit of writing. He offers some illuminating details on this or that building, painting and sculpture, including where it might have traveled over the centuries (well, not the buildings, of course) and whether the version we see today is a fully original specimen. He also gives us a very good reason to take a tour of the secret passageways in Old World cities.


The Vasari Corridor from Wiki commons Is the information interesting? Leaving aside prophets and their like, before there were mononymous sorts like Liberace, Elvis and Madonna, even earlier than sorts like that English playwright, there was Durante degli Aligheri, known to a certain childhood acquaintance, Beatrice, as that boy who wouldn’t stop staring at her, known to certain priors in Florence as the guy who refused to pay his fine and was thus banned for life, and known to us in the 21st century as Dante.


Dante and His Poem by Michelino from Wikimedia

If you find Dante and his best-known work of interest, and really, you should, this book is a lot of fun. Of course what constitutes interesting is almost always in the eye of the beholder. If your thing is video games, well then not so much. (on the other hand, there actually is a lot here that does remind one of video game action, so I take that back) But if you are fascinated with old world history, art and architecture, Dante, the Black Death, Malthusian concerns, and the potential impact of a large human die-off, then Si, molto. Does it address some larger issue, one of actual significance? Sicuramente. Two in fact. One of the major elements in the story is the determination by our psycho-scientist billionaire sort that human population is about to reach a dangerous level, one which is likely to trigger all sorts of catastrophes. There are various ways one can address this concern, but the underlying concern is quite real. Brown does us all a service by bringing it to the attention of millions of readers. Another element here is the notion of “Transhumanism.” Basically this entails humans taking charge of our own evolution and using all the technology available to us to ensure maximization of our physical and intellectual capacities. Whether one sees this as a Satanic plot, yet another opportunity for the haves to have even more, or the beginning of a new human renaissance, the subject is worth checking out. Does it make sense? In some ways yes and in some ways no. There is validity to the underlying science. But would the baddie really leave a breadcrumb trail for potential foilers to his big bang?

That said, it can be fun to descend into the bowels of the earth, or the watery substructures of ancient architectural marvels, however many levels down you care to go.

Whether you think that Dan Brown belongs in literary heaven, Hades or somewhere in between, he makes a wonderful Virgil, leading us on an interesting journey, and showing us some things we might not have ever imagined. It may not qualify as a divine book, but Inferno is one hell of a read.

PS - One must note that the end of all three parts of Dante’s Commedia (the Divine was added later) end with the word “stars.” Brown does not disappoint on that score.

And I am sure there is significance to the fact that there are 104 chapters in the book, (plus a prologue and an epilogue, so 106) but I have not been able to suss out exactly what. There are 99 cantos in the Commedia, maybe a couple more with this or that added, but I do not know how one can fluff that up to 106. Yet, I am sure there is an explanation. When (if) I find it I will include it here.

WB2051

This review is cross-posted at Coots Reviews

==============================EXTRA STUFF

Apparently the city of Manila took umbrage at a negative characterization in the book

An interesting discussion of Dante’s work

Wiki article on transhumanism

Washington Post review

Janet Maslin’s NY Times review, which includes a wonderful observation re the book’s publication date

WSJ piece on how Dan Brown kept the wraps on his story lest copycats scoop him

For some nice images and info on the Vasari Corridor

If you get the urge, you can read Dante’s masterpiece for free thanks to the Gutenberg project

If you believe that Dan Brown should be relegated to one of the lower levels of hell, you might enjoy this piece in The Daily Beast, by Noah Charney, who clearly enjoys pointing out all the things Brown got wrong

GR friend Connie reminds us that there is a wonderful piece by Rodin, The Gates of Hell, that is worth a look.

Here is a nice Q&A piece with Brown from the June 20, 2013, NY Times, part of their By the Book series

Some interesting images and notions on Dante's hell, on a web post called The Topography of Hell

12/3/13 - The results are in and Inferno was voted the Goodreads Choice Award winner in the Mystery & Thriller category ...more

2

Dec 12, 2013

Aaron turned on his computer and opened it to Goodreads.com, a widely used website for books. It was time. He looked around to be sure he was alone, and started writing ... his review of Dan Brown's Inferno.

CHAPTER 253

Aaron looked at the screen, wondering how best to approach the review. He had to be quick about it.

"There's no time!" he shouted even though no one else was around.

They could be here at any minute, and he had to hurry. He had to make sure he went fast, because of the time Aaron turned on his computer and opened it to Goodreads.com, a widely used website for books. It was time. He looked around to be sure he was alone, and started writing ... his review of Dan Brown's Inferno.

CHAPTER 253

Aaron looked at the screen, wondering how best to approach the review. He had to be quick about it.

"There's no time!" he shouted even though no one else was around.

They could be here at any minute, and he had to hurry. He had to make sure he went fast, because of the time constraints. Speed was of the utmost importance.

But ... how to start? While it was true that he had enjoyed the facts listed in the book, he wasn't sure this was enough to warrant a good review.

"Lists of facts do not a novel make," he chuckled to himself, very very proud of this turn of phrase. Again, to be clear, no one else was around. He was alone and talking to himself.

He started writing his review. The first thing he pointed out was that no one in the book spoke like a human being.

"More like anthropomorphic Wikipedia entries," he chuckled again, remembering how essentially the characters only speak to each other when they have knowledge to share. Except at least Wikipedia entries straight-up tell you what you want to know, instead of posing everything as a Jeopardy question and lording the answer over you when you don't get it right. But then Aaron started hurrying again because of how fast he definitely needed to be going because of the vague and undefined threat listed earlier in this review.

Suddenly, Aaron was reminded of something from his past. He leaned back in his chair and just kind of stared into space for a whole chapter (so about 2 or 3 pages) remembering every single word from a speech he gave like 10 years ago. Luckily, that speech has the answers to everything he'll ever need to do to stop his vague and undefined enemies, so this is not strictly a waste of time.

Aaron looked up from his computer. Was that a sound that he'd heard? Probably. Sounds happen all the time. Wait! There it was again! He tried to slam the laptop closed to hide his work, but it was too late. They were here.

CHAPTER 591

Aaron tried to run, but as he got up a hand grabbed him from behind and pushed him back into his chair. He turned around. Above him stood a beautiful woman, with many attractive features that you, the male reader, would probably enjoy.

"Aaron Burdette!" she shouted. "I'm such a huge fan of yours! I just came by to tell you that I mostly exist to tell you how smart and attractive you are. I probably have some sort of surface-level trait like 'I'm really smart' or 'I'm barren' to inform my 'character', but really I'm just totally into you."

"Thank you human woman," Aaron replied. "But... aren't you here to... kill... me?"

"No!" she said, her golden hair glistening or something. "There are no real threats in this story! Just things that SEEM like threats, but then end up being fine."

"Oh, good. I love a story with net zero stakes."

"Then you're gonna love this."

And then, the woman who we all thought was beautiful and smart and cool, pulled a gun on Aaron Burdette.

CHAPTER 12 MILLION

"Just kidding!" shouted the woman, immediately throwing her gun in the nearby Hudson River. The Hudson River is a 315-mile (507 km) watercourse that flows from north to south primarily through eastern New York State in the United States. The river originates at Henderson Lake in Newcomb, New York, in the Adirondack Park, flowing southward past the state capital at Albany, and eventually forming the boundary between New York City and the U.S. state of New Jersey at its mouth, before emptying into Upper New York Bay. The official hydrologic source of the Hudson River is Lake Tear of the Clouds in the Adirondack Mountains.[4] The lower half of the river is a tidal estuary[5] occupying the Hudson Fjord, which formed during the most recent period of North American glaciation, estimated at 26,000 to 13,300 years ago.[6] Tidal waters influence the Hudson's flow from as far north as Troy, New York.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Aaron asked. "I was just thinking about the Hudson River."

"I said 'Just kidding,'" said the mysterious woman whose name we still don't know. "Because I'm not really going to kill you."

"Oh, that's good. I guess I will have no emotional reaction to any of this."

"Me neither."

They shook hands. Then the woman left.

"I never found out her name," Aaron said out loud. "I bet since that sort of information is being withheld, it will really be a big shock later in the story when her name is finally revealed. Like, I should've known who she was all along or something."

Nope, that woman's name was Amber Smith and you have never met her before. There is no discernible reason to have withheld her name.

"Oh," Aaron said. "Well at least this will be the only time that happens."

If only Aaron could know ... how wrong he truly was.

CHAPTER INFINITY

"I have to hurry, remember?!" Aaron shouted. For you see, Aaron had to release his review soon. He had to. Because ... if he didn't ... the whole world might end... up reading Inferno. It was on Aaron, a humble book reviewer on a social media site, the kind of guy that you would never, ever think would end up in a world-saving scenario, to stop everyone on earth from reading a book.

"Just read a non-fiction book about Florence or Venice or Renaissance Art!" he cried to the heavens/empty room. "That's the only good stuff in here anyway!"

He rapidly pushed the keys on his keyboard, making them make the words pop up on the screen thanks to various input codes sent from the keyboard to the computer. Finally, he finished. With the simple click of a mouse, he would release his warning to mankind. Only time would tell ... if it worked.

THE END... ? ... ...more

5

Jan 15, 2013

June 18, 2013
This book has Dan Brown written all over it. Just like the previous stories in this series, the entire book is about 24 hour long mystery/thriller. Robert Langdon wakes up at a hospital with no recollection of how he got there and as he starts to figure out what's going on, he starts getting deeper into a dangerous event that is about to take place. From the very first page, a chain of events starts to take place at a very fast pace.

Loved reading the book, just like Robert Langdon's June 18, 2013
This book has Dan Brown written all over it. Just like the previous stories in this series, the entire book is about 24 hour long mystery/thriller. Robert Langdon wakes up at a hospital with no recollection of how he got there and as he starts to figure out what's going on, he starts getting deeper into a dangerous event that is about to take place. From the very first page, a chain of events starts to take place at a very fast pace.

Loved reading the book, just like Robert Langdon's previous journies. At the beginning I found it a little bit annoying when every single details of various Italian tourist spots were being described. Some of them were so descriptive that at times it felt like reading a brochure. The description of various historic places probably could've been shortend a little bit.

The thriller never ends though. A lot of twists as the story progresses and that's what keep you turning the pages. It's a fast pace story, as mentioned and the story telling style of Dan Browne is absolutely amazing, as usual. A great read overall.

January 15, 2013
It's coming out on May and I can't believe this book wasn't added to Goodreads already. Couldn't find it in Goodreads and so I added the book. Can't wait for it to come out!!!
...more

4

Sep 09, 2013

Inferno (Robert Langdon #4), Dan Brown
Inferno is a 2013 mystery thriller novel by American author Dan Brown and the fourth book in his Robert Langdon series, following Angels & Demons, The Da Vinci Code and The Lost Symbol. The book was published on May 14, 2013, ten years after publication of The Da Vinci Code (2003), by Doubleday. A film adaptation was released in the United States on October 28, 2016. Harvard professor Robert Langdon wakes up in a hospital with a head wound and no memory Inferno (Robert Langdon #4), Dan Brown
Inferno is a 2013 mystery thriller novel by American author Dan Brown and the fourth book in his Robert Langdon series, following Angels & Demons, The Da Vinci Code and The Lost Symbol. The book was published on May 14, 2013, ten years after publication of The Da Vinci Code (2003), by Doubleday. A film adaptation was released in the United States on October 28, 2016. Harvard professor Robert Langdon wakes up in a hospital with a head wound and no memory of the last few days. He last remembers walking on the Harvard campus, but he quickly realizes that he is now in Florence, Italy. Dr. Sienna Brooks, one of the doctors tending to him, reveals that he is suffering from amnesia. When Vayentha, a female assassin, shows up in the hospital and kills Dr. Marconi, Brooks helps Langdon escape, and they flee to her apartment. ...
تاریخ نخستین خوانش: از روز دوازدهم ماه مارس سال 1014 میلادی تا روز دهم ماه آوریل سال 2014 میلادی
عنوان: دوزخ؛ نویسنده: دن براون؛ مترجم: مهرداد وثوقی؛ تهران، افراز، 1392؛ در 620 ص؛ شابک: 9786003260337؛ موضوع: داستانهای نویسندگان امریکایی سده 21 م
عنوان: دوزخ؛ نویسنده: دن براون؛ مترجم: فرزام حبیبی اصفهانی؛ تهران، بهنام، 1392؛ در 653 ص؛ شابک: 9789645668981؛
عنوان: دوزخ؛ نویسنده: دن براون؛ مترجم: حسین شهرابی؛ تهران، تندیس، 1392؛ در 704 ص؛ شابک: 9786001820991؛ چاپ دوم و سوم 1392؛
عنوان: دوزخ؛ نویسنده: دن براون؛ مترجم: سعید سرایی اصل؛ تهمینه مظفری تهران، نگارینه، 1392؛ در 574 ص؛ شابک: 9789642300419؛
عنوان: دوزخ؛ نویسنده: دن براون؛ مترجم: منیژه جلالی؛ تهران، البرز، 1392؛ در 634 ص؛ شابک: 9789644428647؛
عنوان: دوزخ؛ نویسنده: دن براون؛ مترجم: سارا زرگر؛ کرج، در دانش بهمن، 1393؛ در 756 ص؛ شابک: 9789641741640؛
داستان چهارمین رمان، از سری داستانهای «رابرت لانگدون»، اینبار در ایتالیا می‌گذرد، و در آن «لانگدن»، وارد دنیایی هراسناک میشود، تا پای قدیمی‌ترین، و ماندگارترین شاهکار ادبیات را، به میان کشد. «دن براون» می‌گوید: «هرچند در دوران دانشجویی «دوزخ» دانته را خوانده بودم، اما تا همین اواخر، متوجه تاثیر ماندگار آن، بر دنیای مدرن نشده بودم. در این رمان خویش، بسیار هیجان‌زده بودم تا خوانشگر را به دنیایی اسرارآمیز ببرم... دنیای رمزها، نمادها و ده‌ها گذرگاه مخفیانه.»؛ اسکات سیمون، خبرنگار رادیو ملی امریکا، به بهانه ی انتشار این رمان، مصاحبه‌ ای با «دن براون» انجام داده، گزیده‌ ای از آن پرسش و پاسخ را به نقل از هفته‌ نامه خبری - تحلیلی کتاب، با عنوان «سام» می‌خوانید

س: درباره الهام از «دانته» در نوشتن رمان «دوزخ» بگویید
ج: چیزهای زیادی درباره ی هنر کلاسیک دیده بودم، ولی هیچ وقت درباره هنرهای ادبی چیزی نخوانده بودم که به نظرم «دانته» در اوج این هنر قرار دارد. همان‌طور که می‌دانید مثل «مونالیزا»، «کمدی الهی، دانته» نیز، یکی از شاهکارهای هنر انسانی، محسوب می‌شود، که تقریبا به سنگ محک فرهنگ، و تاریخ بخشی از انسان‌های روی زمین، تبدیل شده است. بهتر است کمی مثل «رابرت لانگدن» احساس کنیم

س: به نظرم بیشتر تحقیقات خود را در ایتالیا انجام داده‌ اید، به نظر کار مفرحی می‌آید؟
ج: البته از گفتن این جمله نفرت دارم، ولی باید اعتراف کنم، که به واسطه ی رمان «رمز داوینچی»، به جاهایی دسترسی پیدا کردم، که قبلا خوابش را هم نمی‌دیدم. برای نویسنده‌ ای همچو من، که همیشه سرم توی کاغذ بوده، دیدن این جاهای فوق‌العاده، جذاب و جالب بود. همیشه دوست داشتم مثل پلیس‌ها یک رازی داشته باشم. هیچگاه نمی‌خواستم مردم بفهمند می‌خواهم درباره ی چه، داستان بنویسم. در بازدید از مکان‌های مختلف، سئوالی از کسی نمی‌پرسیدم. به همین دلیل، خود، تحقیقاتم را انجام می‌دادم، و این کار برایم جذابیت داشت. همیشه سئوال‌های بی‌ربطی از متصدیان موزه‌ ها می‌پرسیدم، در غیر اینصورت می‌فهمیدند که چه ایده‌ ای دارم... جالب‌ترین شخصیت‌های شرور، کسانی هستند که کارهای نیک را براساس نیت‌های منفی یا کارهای منفی را با نیت مثبت انجام می‌دهند. من همیشه منطقه خاکستری بین منفی و مثبت را دوست داشتم

س: چقدر طول کشید «دوزخ» را نوشتید؟
ج: تقریبا سه سال، البته در این سال‌ها، فرآیند نوشتن، همراه تحقیقات صورت گرفت. همیشه دوست داشتم وقتی تحقیق می‌کنم و به چیزی جدید دست پیدا می‌کنم، سریع آن را روی کاغذ بیاورم

س: یک بار گفته بودید نوشتن را دوست ندارید و اصلا نیازی به نوشتن دوباره ندارید. چرا دوباره این کار را کردید؟
ج: البته نوشتن، یک فرایند بسیار سخت است، ولی من همیشه نوشتن را دوست دارم چون تحقیق کردن را دوست دارم. بیشتر از همه اینها، دوست دارم هیجان‌هایی را که از این تحقیقات الهام می‌گیرم، به دیگران نیز انتقال بدهم. مثل این است که بخواهید درباره ی شور و اشتیاق «دانته» در «فلورانس» تحقیق کنید، و با آن شریک شوید، و بخواهید ایده‌ های بزرگی درباره ی اتفاقات آینده بدهید

س: چگونه تصمیم گرفتید از روی «دانته» داستان بنویسید؟
ج: من همیشه می‌دانستم روزی درباره ی او مطلب خواهم نوشت. ولی هیچ وقت نمی‌خواستم درباره ی خودش داستان بنویسم، چون وقتی کسی مثل او، این‌گونه جهنم را به صورت زنده و روشن تعریف می‌کند، اختراع یک «جهنم» دیگر برای خواننده ی اثر او بسیار مفید است. به نظر من «دانته» بر اساس گناه جهان را اختراع کرد

س: «دانته» فکر می‌کرد غرور بزرگ‌ترین گناه است، نظر شما چیست؟
ج: به نظر من «تنبلی و بیکاری» گناه بزرگی است. شما تنها یکبار فرصت دارید به دنیا بیایید، و یکبار فرصت دارید زندگی کنید، پس بهتر است در زندگی خود کاری بکنید. نیاز به کار و معاشرت با دیگران دارید، و کسانی که این کار را نمی‌کنند دچار همان غرور شده‌ اند

س: سخت‌ترین چیز درباره ی خلق یک داستان مهیج، چه چیزی می‌تواند باشد؟
ج: برای من این چیز سخت، مربوط به دنیای واقعی، و ارتباط آن با داستان است. من برای داستان‌هایم از تاریخ واقعی، مکان‌های واقعی، علوم واقعی و هرچیزی که در واقعیت وجود دارد، استفاده می‌کنم، و به همین دلیل ارتباط دادن این واقعیت‌ها با سیر داستان، کار سختی است. در حقیقت تبدیل واقعیت‌ها به شخصیت‌های داستانی همیشه کار سختی محسوب می‌شود

س: و بالاخره اینکه جایگاه شما در دنیای ادبیات چه نوع جایگاهی است؟
ج: البته خنده‌ دار است بگویم که خودم هم نمی‌دانم کجای سرزمین ادبیات قرار گرفته‌ ام. من تنها کتابی را می‌نویسم که همیشه دوست دارم بخوانم. من کسی هستم که بیشتر از داستان و ادبیات، نمادها و کدها را دوست دارم، و عاشق این هستم که این نمادها را در هنر و معماری و هر کار شاهکار دیگر پیدا کنم. همه اینها را می‌توانید در داستانهای «رابرت لانگدن» پیدا کنید
ا. شربیانی ...more

3

Jan 23, 2013

I've spent the past few years writing a book on Inferno, immersing myself in Dante's Commedia, and was looking forward to a fun read. While the book is decent it's still a disappointment. Despite having quite a few issues with Da Vinci Code, it was nevertheless a fun trip through the world of art and puzzle solving. Unfortunately Inferno reads more like a movie treatment with some factoids thrown in. At times it reminded me of the old Batman episodes with the caped crusader pulling off an I've spent the past few years writing a book on Inferno, immersing myself in Dante's Commedia, and was looking forward to a fun read. While the book is decent it's still a disappointment. Despite having quite a few issues with Da Vinci Code, it was nevertheless a fun trip through the world of art and puzzle solving. Unfortunately Inferno reads more like a movie treatment with some factoids thrown in. At times it reminded me of the old Batman episodes with the caped crusader pulling off an implausible escape from the bad guys every 5 minutes.

On the plus side, Brown does give Dante a pretty good treatment for the reader not familiar with the Commedia. I also enjoyed the whirlwind tour of the city (having visited Florence last year). Inferno continues to follow Brown's style of page-turning, very short chapters and I have to admit I got sucked in.

On the minus side, the book is replete with the usual anti-Catholic bigotry (although not as bad as Da Vinci Code). And of course, there's the writing. Brown's writing isn't as bad as some of the critics say (including some readers of this site), but Brown certainly isn't writing literary fiction either.

I'm not a Brown hater, but I have to wonder what Dante's Inferno would have looked like in the hands of Umberto Eco.

Afterlife: An Introduction to Dante's Inferno ...more

5

Jan 25, 2013

To be very honest, I had a lot of expectations from this book and Dan Brown does not disappoint. I'm not entirely happy with the book; the second half of the book lacked certain things and was not quite as interesting as the first part. The research work for this book is done very painstakingly and it shows. 4.5 stars.

1

Jan 16, 2013

I considered giving this two stars but then I realized there really wasn't anything I liked about it. It was so boring and it took me more than a week to get through. I know it's too much to ask that Dan Brown scale the heights of Angels & Demons or even The Da Vinci Code once again but I'm somewhat baffled as to how his writing has taken a turn for the worse and it started with that blasted The Lost Symbol.

There's nothing much to say about this to be honest. The plot was kind of intriguing I considered giving this two stars but then I realized there really wasn't anything I liked about it. It was so boring and it took me more than a week to get through. I know it's too much to ask that Dan Brown scale the heights of Angels & Demons or even The Da Vinci Code once again but I'm somewhat baffled as to how his writing has taken a turn for the worse and it started with that blasted The Lost Symbol.

There's nothing much to say about this to be honest. The plot was kind of intriguing mostly because it raised ethical questions and provided food for thought but the characters were so underdeveloped and felt really flat. As a result of this, I wasn't invested in any of them or the story. It all just plodded along with me quirking an eyebrow here and there and wondering when it was going to end. I certainly don't understand why it took so many pages to tell this very mediocre story. As it usually goes with Dan Brown books this read like a tour of ancient buildings in ancient cities and while these would have been great to explore on a tour in person or even read in a guide book, Brown does a terrible job of interweaving the story and these 'attractions'

Would I recommend this to anyone? Not really. There's nothing to see here so I would encourage you to keep it moving. ...more

1

Apr 30, 2013

"Abandon hope all ye who enter here"
~ Dante's Divine Comedy.

(Oh, Mr.Brown...the irony and the accuracy)
----------------------------------------------------

The last Dan Brown novel that I recall reading and enjoying to the hilt was Angels & Demons. So, when I proudly hefted his new tome INFERNO home from the book store, I was all:


And then, barely twenty pages had passed by and my buoyant emotions pretty much went The Little Mermaid Way:


The author has decided to morph into a "Abandon hope all ye who enter here"
~ Dante's Divine Comedy.

(Oh, Mr.Brown...the irony and the accuracy)
----------------------------------------------------

The last Dan Brown novel that I recall reading and enjoying to the hilt was Angels & Demons. So, when I proudly hefted his new tome INFERNO home from the book store, I was all:


And then, barely twenty pages had passed by and my buoyant emotions pretty much went The Little Mermaid Way:


The author has decided to morph into a dry-as-day-old-bread version of Wikipedia. And also, into a closet tourist guide - a tourist guide who will bore the sweaty and itchy tourists into a rigid stupor as he drones on, ad nauseum, about every gilt-edged pillar and every conspiracy-ridden niche that the museums of Italy seem to be overflowing with.

And might I add that the plot was non-existent.
So my reaction at the complete absence of a storyline began at a mild:


laboured along at a steady:


and eventually escalated into a full-blown:


But wait, there was more…

200 Pages on and we are still sifting through a sea of unnecessary facts, vapid musings of the characters and brick-by-brick descriptions of Italy’s hotspots.
And still, no plot.

I am getting a tad snitty and mighty snotty now, Mr.Brown.
Take it from here, Miss.Pony:


I’m trying to keep an open mind. I’m trying to remember that one day, I will write a book and I will not want reviewers to tear it to soul-destroying shreds. I remind myself that Dan Brown is an articulate man with a brilliant mind.

But a description of Gondolas? Which, for the record, wasn't essential to the plot. REALLY, Mr.Brown?!?


AND, if I have to hear about the Provost’s deeply tanned face or his sun drenched visage one more time:


And then, a faint glimmer of hope.
THE PLOT! It exists! It’s alive!!

Hallelujah!


But wait, I spoke too soon.

What you saw and read and believed is NOT what you saw and read and believed.
Yes, big shock there, Prof.Langdon.


On a parallel (but seemingly wholly unrelated) note, is the plot progressing?

Nope. No sir. Not at all. It’s just more pages of lectures and descriptions and yes, lectures.


Stop it, Mr.Brown!
Stop it.
Please.
I am getting big imaginary welts on my forehead with all these big imaginary medieval *headdesks*


It’s not right.
I want to stop. But I have paid a third-cousin-twice-removed-duke’s ransom for this book.

I must finish it.
I must.
I will see the promised land.

But it’s a lonely path. And it’s dark.

*help*


Why is it not ending?

Why!?!


Mr.Brown. STOP. Please.

For the love of Angels & Demons, STOP.

and...
oh look, I'm done.


Deep in my heart, having emerged from INFERNO with my wallet lighter, my head throbbing and my spirit chafed, I only have to say this:

----------------------------------------------------
To summarize,
I broke my rule of writing scathing reviews because:
a) An interesting premise could have avoided a long and messy demise, had the book been 200 pages long. 200 pages. Not 400 agonizing, brain-numbing pages long.

b) Reputed and respected Prof.Langdon is facing what could probably be the biggest catastrophe of his life. And his reactions? Dry chuckles. Startled asides. The occasional uppity smirk.
Kristen Stewart. Rejoice. YOU have more expressions than Robert Langdon.

c) Sienna Brooks was a huge disappointment. And really, were her actions justified? I think not. Prof.Langdon, stop acting all noble and understanding. You just want to, excuse the crudeness, get into her pants.
...more

3

May 12, 2013

To all the folks who rate a book before they've read it, skewing the ratings for everyone...go to Amazon with all the other flamers. Leave our ratings alone.

3

Jun 24, 2015

“Just because the human mind can't imagine something happening, doesn't mean it won't.”

3/5 Stars

Another typical Dan Brown book. It's been on my to-read list for ages, so is The Lost Symbol still. Now that the film will be released soon, I needed to get a grip and read it. And I, too, decided to skip Book 3 and move straight on to this one.
My expectations are fulfilled. Mysteries, art, intruige, a race against time. But since I last read a Dan Brown novel a few years have passed and I've read “Just because the human mind can't imagine something happening, doesn't mean it won't.”

3/5 Stars

Another typical Dan Brown book. It's been on my to-read list for ages, so is The Lost Symbol still. Now that the film will be released soon, I needed to get a grip and read it. And I, too, decided to skip Book 3 and move straight on to this one.
My expectations are fulfilled. Mysteries, art, intruige, a race against time. But since I last read a Dan Brown novel a few years have passed and I've read lots of amazing books. I'm not as easily impressed as I was then. I have some points that I want to talk about, things that bugged me in the novel.

1. Lacking character-depth and stereotypes. Sienna Brooks is a cliché. She is supposed to be one of the smartest people alive, IQ-wise. But apart from the fact that - mild spoiler - she is a scientist and had a difficult childhood because of her high intelligence, the is no trace of said IQ. Dan Brown is no expert when it comes to writing women.
2. Overused plot line. Langdon + female sidekick + famous city/cities + hidden messages and riddles + scavenger hunt + chase. It's a story that made millions of dollars for Dan Brown, so of course he would be stupid not to try it again and again. I, however, got tired of it after the first 150 pages.
3. The riddles and Inferno-references were no doubt very intruiging, but also immensely repetitive. With all due respect to Dante, why didn't he just go to hell - pun intended. But what did I expect when I decided to read a book called Inferno, really.
4. (view spoiler)[
-"I'm too old for you."
-"Yeah, true."
-"Let's kiss anyway."
-"Yes okay, you're the white male protagonist and even though you're nearly twice my age and our friendship is completely platonic, I'm the female side character and the stereotypical attraction I feel for you forces me to add sexual tension to the last 4 pages. You're so hot!"
(hide spoiler)]

In a nutshell: Nice read, nevertheless disappointing for many reasons. Hope the film will be better(though the trailer destroyed my hopes already).

Find more of my books on Instagram ...more

1

May 15, 2013

Making this as read just so I can do a stupid review....I made it all the way to 37% I deserve a medal.....

okay....I just can't finish it....it started with this paragraph at about 12%

"She knew it was probably just the adrenaline, but she found herself strangely attracted to the American professor. In addition to his being handsome, he seemed to possess a sincerely good heart. In some distant, alternate life, Robert Langdon might even be someone she could be with."

From then on all I could think Making this as read just so I can do a stupid review....I made it all the way to 37% I deserve a medal.....

okay....I just can't finish it....it started with this paragraph at about 12%

"She knew it was probably just the adrenaline, but she found herself strangely attracted to the American professor. In addition to his being handsome, he seemed to possess a sincerely good heart. In some distant, alternate life, Robert Langdon might even be someone she could be with."

From then on all I could think of was what a complete sell out Dan Brown was. I mean, this isn't even an original love twist...it's so overused....so overdone. I made it all the way to 37% before I just am done...I'm over it...kaput...no more....

So far Langdon has escaped several assassination attempts. He has managed to escape several times from places that were inescapable. So we're suppose to believe he is insanely clever, right? WRONG!!!!! When he meets up with a lady he met the night before (he has short term amnesia ...ufffta.... how very original) he has to ask her half a dozen times, "You did, I must have overlooked that" when she points out that they discussed it the night before. Hello! If you're trying to act like you don't have amnesia, don't question every thing she tells you from the night before, moron!

I just can't take it anymore....

I honestly feel that Brown has just totally sold himself out here....He has not only recycled generic writing themes, he has used boring, unimaginative ones to boot! At this point, I can't help having visions of Harrison Ford (Indian Jones) and Matt Damon (Jason Bourne) running through my head. Where the hell is Robert Langdon? I just can't picture him. There is no clear picture of him or his personality. How dare Dan Brown assume that everyone has read the previous books. As an author I would think that you can never assume that your reading audience has read your other books. This might be the very first time they have picked up one of your novels. Yet, Brown gives us no insight to who Langdon is. What makes him tick? There simply is no inner workings to his mind or his personality here. So very disappointed....I seriously wanted to finish this book, but I've been debating with myself the entire time from that stupid paragraph until now....I mean, seriously, I'm in the middle of a paragraph and ask myself, "Connie, how much longer are you going to go on with this rubbish?"....guess I finally answered myself....zipt...psssfffttt...done.... adios..... ...more

0

May 04, 2013

i think amazon and Google play need to sort out pricing on ebooks they are both asking 8.99 ,with no overheads, no printing costs no,logistics and all they have to do is store it on a server and let customer's download it. why am I kicking off you might ask yourself well its quite simply because i have just ordered the hard back copy from asda.co.uk for 9.00 so for 1 penny I get real paper real hard cover and delivery to my front door on day of release. and they say ebooks are the future, not at i think amazon and Google play need to sort out pricing on ebooks they are both asking £8.99 ,with no overheads, no printing costs no,logistics and all they have to do is store it on a server and let customer's download it. why am I kicking off you might ask yourself well its quite simply because i have just ordered the hard back copy from asda.co.uk for £9.00 so for 1 penny I get real paper real hard cover and delivery to my front door on day of release. and they say ebooks are the future, not at asda .

update 14,05,2013
it arrived this morning ,I don't think it's going to fit in the sd card slot on my kindle and how come you can never find a bookmark when you need one. ...more

4

Aug 07, 2016

Read this years ago... it's a great story and an intense and complex read. I preferred Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code; however, this is a very close third as the concept of Dante and the fiery gates of hell are also quite good. Dan Brown doesn't let you down and you should definitely keep reading this series -- especially with the movie now coming out! What I love most is the back and forth point of view, unsure how everyone is connection, and who will figure out the end game first. Read this years ago... it's a great story and an intense and complex read. I preferred Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code; however, this is a very close third as the concept of Dante and the fiery gates of hell are also quite good. Dan Brown doesn't let you down and you should definitely keep reading this series -- especially with the movie now coming out! What I love most is the back and forth point of view, unsure how everyone is connection, and who will figure out the end game first. It's a puzzle... and one I can do over and over again.

About Me
For those new to me or my reviews... here's the scoop: I read A LOT. I write A LOT. And now I blog A LOT. First the book review goes on Goodreads, and then I send it on over to my WordPress blog at https://thisismytruthnow.com, where you'll also find TV & Film reviews, the revealing and introspective 365 Daily Challenge and lots of blogging about places I've visited all over the world. And you can find all my social media profiles to get the details on the who/what/when/where and my pictures. Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Vote in the poll and ratings. Thanks for stopping by. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators. ...more

2

Jul 06, 2013

Kinda blah after the other Langdon entries. Getting a little used to the Langdon formula. Also, in the end it was not all that great of a story (in my opinion). Honestly, hard for me to believe they got another movie in the series out of this (I hope they changed a lot of it to make it more interesting! Hard to believe I just said I hoped they changed the story when making a movie - SACRELIDGE! )

2

May 17, 2013

Warning: If something in my review is marked with a spoiler tag, it really is a spoiler. I don't want to be the reason that a die-hard fan reads a spoiler and has the whole book ruined for him/her. So if that kind of thing matters to you, DON'T CLICK ON THE SPOILERS.

If nothing else, Dan Brown's Inferno reminded me that the interrobang (?!) is a thing. Also, why use one ellipsis ... when you can use ... A MILLION?!

I can't take this book seriously. It took me over a month to read it, and most of Warning: If something in my review is marked with a spoiler tag, it really is a spoiler. I don't want to be the reason that a die-hard fan reads a spoiler and has the whole book ruined for him/her. So if that kind of thing matters to you, DON'T CLICK ON THE SPOILERS.

If nothing else, Dan Brown's Inferno reminded me that the interrobang (?!) is a thing. Also, why use one ellipsis ... when you can use ... A MILLION?!

I can't take this book seriously. It took me over a month to read it, and most of that month was spent snickering over what a delicate flower Robert Langdon is.

Somewhere in the apartment, a phone was ringing. It was a piercing, old-fashioned ring, coming from the kitchen.

"Sienna?!" Langdon called out, standing up.

When a ringing phone startles your hero enough to warrant an interrobang, I think it's safe to say the fate of the world is doomed.

I'm going to propose a controversial thesis that is 99% certain to mindfuck you into oblivion, and that thesis is that Inferno is not about Dante or Renaissance art or (view spoiler)[genetic engineering (hide spoiler)] at all. Inferno is the simple story of one man, a "handsome" Harvard professor of "symbology," who loses his virginity on a wild night and doesn't remember it in the morning.

The only "inferno" in Inferno, you see, is the INFERNO in Bob Langdon's pants.

DON'T LEAVE ME. I HAVE PROOF!

EXHIBIT 1: The Mickey Mouse "Timepiece"
Langdon is dismayed when he wakes up in a Florence hospital with no memory of getting there and no Mickey Mouse timepiece on his wrist. For many people, Mickey Mouse symbolizes innocence and paying over-inflated prices for food at a theme park. This is something that a world-renowned symbologist would know. Therefore, Langdon loses his "innocence" before the story ever starts and spends the whole book mourning it.

Somehow, between then and now, he had managed to lose his clothing, his Mickey Mouse watch, and two days of his life.

Dan Brown practically spells it out for us!

EXHIBIT 2: The Sullying of the Harris Tweed Jacket
Langdon is crushed to find that his favorite Harris Tweed jacket (what all stereotypical Harvard professors wear) has been damaged and dirtied in his forgotten adventures. In fact, the Harris Tweed jacket (view spoiler)[has a brand new hole in it! (hide spoiler)] Obviously, the supposedly classy and cultured Harris Tweet jacket represents Bob Langdon. Obviously.

EXHIBIT 3: PEEN! Sightings
Bob Langdon notices every penis in Florence, and he HATES them. Now, one would think that a famed art historian and world-renowned symbologist wouldn't blush at the site of the glorious male appendage of sexing. But that's only because one doesn't know Bob Langdon.

At one point, Bob compares the "classy" Italian graffiti on the back of a Porta Potty to the inferior graffiti in the good ol' U S of A: Most American Porta-Potties were covered with sophomoric cartoons that vaguely resembled huge breasts or penises. You would fixate on the naughty bits, wouldn't you, Bob?

Normally, Langdon's visits to the Palazzo Vecchio had begun here on the Piazza della Signoria, which, despite its overabundance of phalluses, had always been one of his favorite plazas in all of Europe.

Really, it's almost like he's going out of his way to be offended by the many peens of Florence.

Langdon intentionally ignored the oft-maligned Hercules and Diomedes, whose naked bodies were locked in an awkward-looking wrestling match, which included a creative "penile grip" that always made Langdon cringe.

But one mention of our "penile gripping" warriors isn't enough for Bob.

Hercules was holding Diomedes upside down, preparing to throw him, while Diomedes was tightly gripping Hercules' penis, as if to say, "Are you sure you want to throw me?"

So, basically, the peens in Inferno symbolize ... penises.

EXHIBIT 4: (view spoiler)[This all ends up being about BIRTH CONTROL (hide spoiler)]
In the end, I think the bad guy pulled through for Langdon by (view spoiler)[possibly preventing any unwanted pregnancies (hide spoiler)].

IN CONCLUSION:
Due to my irrefutable evidence, this book is perhaps/probably about sex and maybe/possibly the loss of Langdon's male maidenhead. Why is there not a term for a man's virginity? There needs to be a term.

I find Dan Brown's writing adorable. And by "adorable," I mean very naive, bland, and repetitious. He just happily types away at his little mysteries with the same character types in every book, the same things happening, the same inexplicable tendency for ladies to think that Robert Langdon is handsome. Don't worry about losing the plot from chapter to chapter or paragraph to paragraph, because Brown will recap the fuck out of it to such an extent that you'll never forget. Also, prepare to be not very surprised with frequency. The bait & switch technique isn't so special when an author uses it twenty times in the course of a novel.

At least we have the travelogue through Florence and other world cities, in which Langdon stops in the middle of a high-speed chase or frantic search for clues to admire the architecture and artwork. Because that didn't get tedious or anything. I could refute some of the "facts" that Langdon presents about history, but that isn't as much fun as writing about ALL THE PEENS IN FLORENCE.

I will close this review with an observation by Sienna, Langdon's Sexy Sue du jour:

The statue before them depicted an obese, naked dwarf straddling a giant turtle. The dwarf's testicles were squashed against the turtle's shell, and the turtle's mouth was dribbling water, as if he were ill.

When it comes down to it, this is my favorite passage from the book. Google the "Fontana del Bacchino" to see the most glorious statue of all time. >:D ...more

2

May 15, 2013

I'm not sure why I volunteered to jump into another Damned Dan Brown novel. What Circle of Dante's Inferno was designed for a cynical, but weak reader who keeps returning to those crappy, popular authors (Damn Brown Brown, Orson Scott Card, Tom Clancy) of their youth hoping to drink from the waters of Bimini? What circle do you consign the novel's author?

1. Limbo? Look, the novel isn't THAT horrible. Damned Dan Brown can be tolerably entertaining if you SIMPLY ignore his actual writing. He IS I'm not sure why I volunteered to jump into another Damned Dan Brown novel. What Circle of Dante's Inferno was designed for a cynical, but weak reader who keeps returning to those crappy, popular authors (Damn Brown Brown, Orson Scott Card, Tom Clancy) of their youth hoping to drink from the waters of Bimini? What circle do you consign the novel's author?

1. Limbo? Look, the novel isn't THAT horrible. Damned Dan Brown can be tolerably entertaining if you SIMPLY ignore his actual writing. He IS (as everyone keeps telling me) the master of page-turning historical mysteries, but I'm just not sure if that says MORE about page-turning historical mysteries, Damned Dan Brown, or us as readers.

2. Lust? To be fair, while I despise Damned Dan Brown's actual words, his style, and his in-artful language, his plotting does somehow turn me on (occasionally) as a reader. While I am now convinced he hit his low-brow/high water mark with The Da Vinci Code (Yes, it's all down hill from Leonardo Damned Dan Brown), this novel is slightly better than the The Lost Symbol so --- I can't absolutely pan it (thus 2 stars).

3. Gluttony? This is the most likely circle 'Inferno' belongs to. I think Damned Dan Brown's major issue is his self-indulgence. DDB's style is inflated, but doesn't actually inform. His metaphors are swollen. His descriptions are possessed of a majority gristle with very little actual literary meat. Half of the book reminds me of some obscure teenager's fan fiction site cribbing a Lonely Planet Publication's guide to write about Florence, Venice, and Istanbul.

4. Greed? It is obvious why Damned Dan Brown writes this way... because we (myself included) still buy it. It reminds me of why I hate it when directors in Hollywood become successful. They stop being interesting and instead become hacks. The reading public, much like the movie going public, demands mediocrity if the writer/director is going to be successful. Real art is not usually bought, real literature is most often ignored (I know that is a cliche, but it IS true). The amazing thing is that DDB started (in the beginning) as a hack and has just perfected hackery to a point where he will certainly be able to print money in 20 years by just publishing an Italian phone book.

5. Anger? No, not really. It is more like regret. If I am angry (Notice how I shifted from the circles being about DDB to the circles being about me? If you aren't comfortable with those kind of style abortions/grammar shifts, you should probably not read Damned Dan Brown) it is an anger of what now passes as novel entertainment.

6. Heresy? No, Damned Dan Brown definitely doesn't belong here. This is certainly a circle the Catholic church would have like to place him for The Da Vinci Code but 'Inferno' is mainly heretical to scholars of Dante, lonely Transhumanists, and perhaps the odd weekend, Malthusian alarmist.

7. Violence? Again, because Damned Dan Brown is aiming for the center-mass of the pulp, paperback purchasing world, he isn't going to make his novel THAT graphic (plus DDB doesn't have the Cormac McCarthy writing chops to paste together a single sentence that would actually scare the beJesus out of anyone). He made 'Inferno' grim in parts, he made it painful to read cover-to-cover, but violent? Meh.

8. Fraud? 'Inferno' is simple and obvious rip-off of every dystopian SF novel about eugenics + a whole shelf of discount guide books + cheap James Bond knockoffs + a little bit of the 'Girl with the Dragon Tattoo'. But, since all writing is a crib, a rip-off, I can't really condemn Damned Dan Brown to Hell, at least to this circle for doing what everyone does, but he just does poorly. If DDB is condemned to the 8th circle it will be more for The Da Vinci Code, which I believe is a boring, watered-down and mediocre version of Foucault's Pendulum.

9. Treachery? The further down into Hell you go, the more you realize it actually takes a lot of work to earn a place at these lower levels. That alone would discount Damned Dan Brown. It would also probably discount my review, since I just couldn't bring myself to spend an inordinate amount of time reviewing a book I wasn't all that impressed by. ...more