Want to find out why is it important to have a good relationship with parents? Or simply how to improve your relationship? Check out our top books reviews for Family Relationships, Parenting, Family Activities,Special Needs and so much more. Find answers about If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World by Dan Neuharth and only download it when you feel like it. Read&Download If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World by Dan Neuharth Online
Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to
please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but
second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack
of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your
intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without
losing your sense of self?
If so, you may be among the fifteen
million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy
parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished
family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your
parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings,
social life, and other aspects of your childhood—and whether that
control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood.
Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions,
this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve
assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you "inner critics,"
and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering
compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past
and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.
Oct 13, 2014When I found out a couple of weeks ago that this book existed, I was shocked and so extremely happy. I hurried up and bought this book off of Amazon and began reading it as soon as it was delivered. I now consider this book to be my Bible.
Sep 17, 2012A pretty thought-provoking book.
Mar 23, 2014This is a good read for anyone who had controlling parents - not just domineering parents (though these are included) those whose parents were controlling in other ways.
May 05, 2017Unfortunately, this book was not for me; not because I didn't have controlling parents, but because 75% of the book is about identifying the problems caused by your controlling parents in your childhood and I've already done that part. I was mainly interested in the healing process and what I found here was inadequate, or things I'd already read elsewhere or figured out for myself.
May 31, 2014The book is predictably general, mostly common sense, thus shallow for my taste. The examples of real life people could be more distinctive and differentiable among the categories it creates.
Nov 15, 2017So many parts of this had me nodding my head and exclaiming, "Yes!!!" Easy to read and very helpful. It validated how much work I've already done to escape the legacy of my controlling parent. If you experience(d) this, it will help you too.
Sep 07, 2016Well-structured and informative, slightly too focused on theorizing and classifications, but with enough case studies and exercises to add some nice practical value.
Jul 13, 2013The book has many disturbing examples of parental neglect and abuse. A very thought provoking read to understand how some people are the way they are. Seventy percent of the book is focused on very practical ways to deal with growing up with troubled parents. It's a book for illustrating what not to do as a parent and also how to emerge as an independent, healthy human being. Great read.
Aug 20, 2013I must read for a lot of people I know who (won't) read this.
Aug 27, 2017This book helped me through some very painful parts of my life, and will continue to help me. I started it over a year ago, and put it down when it got too painful. Now, I've finished it, and I can say I've grown as a person and in being able to acknowledge the nuance that is in this book: what my parents did is not my fault, but what I do from here on out is my responsibility. It's a lot more freeing of a statement than I realized when I first saw it.
Jul 15, 2017Took a long time to get through this due to much needed processing time. I thought the last third was very very good and helpful. I found the first sections quite graphic and disturbing, actually exploitative. Be forewarned. I would imagine the descriptions of people's experiences could be quite triggering to some, so just know what you're getting into.
Mar 07, 2020Easy to read. Straight forward. Full of clear examples and case studies. Contains strategies and exercises to aid in recovery. I'd highly recommend it to anyone who feels they may have been overcontrolled in childhood. Tou'll find validation, relief, and a path forward.
Apr 14, 2018This is an extremely helpful book for anyone whose parent(s) fit the description. This book came equipped with quite a few tactics and truths. Definitely a book worth keeping as a reference.
Nov 29, 2016I have just started the book, but am shocked how much it makes sense and applies to me. The categories are helpful and puts things into perspective for me.
Apr 04, 2014Should be required reading for people in any sort of relationship with a controlling person, not just a parent. Summary: You have a right to individuate yourself, and to honour your individuality and your sense of safety in various ways, including distancing yourself from the person that harmed you.
Mar 30, 2014If you had controlling parents and have never worked through the emotions associated with your experiences, this is a great book to read. The author shares a variety of stories that demonstrate mildly controlling parents to off the charts controlling parents. Each scenario gives the reader reason to pause and ponder their own experiences. Going through this exercise can help you understand yourself and stop blaming yourself for things that were out of your control as a child. Even if you have If you had controlling parents and have never worked through the emotions associated with your experiences, this is a great book to read. The author shares a variety of stories that demonstrate mildly controlling parents to off the charts controlling parents. Each scenario gives the reader reason to pause and ponder their own experiences. Going through this exercise can help you understand yourself and stop blaming yourself for things that were out of your control as a child. Even if you have worked through your experience with controlling parents, the latter half of the book discusses reasons why your parents are the way you are. The author doesn't excuse our parents or the way they treated us. But by helping us understand our parents, and the possible reasons for their behavior, it may be easier to feel sympathy for them and ultimately forgive them so that they no longer have power over us. ...more
Aug 12, 2008You might be surprised how many of the various terrors of childhood in the shadow of bad parenting fall under the rubric of overcontrol. Author Dan Neuharth breaks down various types of controllers, and various styles and methods of control, so that the reader, provided, of course, they had experienced overcontrol when growing up, might more easily pinpoint the genesis of some of their personal anguish. He uses case histories to serve as examples of the various types of controllers, as well as You might be surprised how many of the various terrors of childhood in the shadow of bad parenting fall under the rubric of overcontrol. Author Dan Neuharth breaks down various types of controllers, and various styles and methods of control, so that the reader, provided, of course, they had experienced overcontrol when growing up, might more easily pinpoint the genesis of some of their personal anguish. He uses case histories to serve as examples of the various types of controllers, as well as to help the reader jog his/her memory as to any relatable experiences from his/her own life. Neuharth also provides suggestions of how to deal with and heal from the pain of such a childhood. Full of insights and eye-openers. Highly recommended. ...more
Oct 17, 2012I had to read this book pretty slow not because it was a difficult read but the content will bring back a lot of memories. The book surfaced a lot of emotions that I tried to ignore, but without letting them manifest I would never heal. I really appreciate the message in this book because we all were controlled and do control others in some way. The message is to recognize our faults and learn from them. Its a daily practice that will never end.
Dec 13, 2011Yes, another pop-psych book. This was very insightful, and gave me lots of memories to regurgitate and detoxify. I'd recommend this for any and everyone to read, because ALL of us have been controlled and controlling at some point. Awareness is the first step to recovery--even if you didn't have controlling parents, you're interacting with many who had. It's time to grow up the healthy way!
Aug 08, 2013Lots of repetition in this book but that doesn't bother me because what I find most helpful is the pages seem to validate my feelings. It's like have a personal therapist that understands me and all I need to do is read a paragraph or two. I'm not saying this is 'the book' to understanding self and family but it has helped me release deep seeded feelings inside me.
Sep 16, 2012I only got through about half of this - meant to finish it but what I'd already read was a lot to chew on, and then I passed it on to a friend who needed it too. I feel like the part that I read gave me what I needed although I'm curious to read the rest.
Jul 09, 2015If you fit into this category, this book is a must read. It is very helpful with breakdowns of scenarios and analysis. It provides insight, explanations and practical steps of healing. I had borrowed this book from the library and then had to purchase a copy so that I could mark it up!
Jun 23, 2016Contains some useful insights, but is so repetitive that I found myself skimming or skipping big chunks of it.
Aug 30, 2010Never knew why I felt certain ways until I started reading this book.
Sep 09, 2012Very helpful in looking at family dysfunction objectively whilst one is in recovery.
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