Before I Had the Words: On Being a Transgender Young Adult Info

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"A must-read for anyone who is trans or has trans family or
friends."—Chase Ross, trans activist, speaker. Revealing entries
from the author's personal journals as well as interviews with his
mother, brother, and friends lend remarkable depth to a groundbreaking
memoir of change, loss, discovery, pain, and relief.


At the
beginning of his physical transition from female to male,
then-seventeen-year-old Skylar Kergil posted his first video on YouTube.
In the months and years that followed, he recorded weekly update videos
about the physical and emotional changes he experienced. Skylar's
openness and positivity attracted thousands of viewers, who followed
along as his voice deepened and his body changed shape. Through
surgeries and recovery, highs and lows, from high school to college to
the real world, Skylar welcomed others on his journey.

Before I
Had the Words
is the story of what came before the videos and what
happened behind the scenes. From early childhood memories to the changes
and confusion brought by adolescence, Skylar reflects on coming of age
while struggling to understand his gender. As humorous as it is
heartbreaking and as informative as it is entertaining, this memoir
provides an intimate look at the experience of transitioning from one
gender to another. Skylar opens up about the long path to gaining his
family's acceptance and to accepting himself, sharing stories along the
way about smaller challenges like choosing a new name and learning to
shave without eyebrow mishaps.

Before I Had the Words
brings new meaning to the phrase "formative years."

“Every
transition is unique. There are choices we all make every day that shape
who we become. There is no right way or wrong way. There are no
requirements for being transgender. Some people are transgender; until
you hear their stories, you may not know what that means to them. I am
still learning.”

Average Ratings and Reviews
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4.69

381 Ratings

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Ratings and Reviews From Market


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Reviews for Before I Had the Words: On Being a Transgender Young Adult:

4

Apr 15, 2018

4/5stars

This was great! I was a huge fan of Skylar Kergil's YouTube videos back when I was in Middle School so when I found out he had a memoir I got VERY EXCITED. This was a great look into his life growing up and transitioning to male. I felt like I knew a lot of what was in this book between his YouTube videos as well as he's been in several news stories because he lived fairly close to my hometown - so our local stations did stories on him a lot. But, I really enjoyed reading his words on 4/5stars

This was great! I was a huge fan of Skylar Kergil's YouTube videos back when I was in Middle School so when I found out he had a memoir I got VERY EXCITED. This was a great look into his life growing up and transitioning to male. I felt like I knew a lot of what was in this book between his YouTube videos as well as he's been in several news stories because he lived fairly close to my hometown - so our local stations did stories on him a lot. But, I really enjoyed reading his words on paper - he truly is talented at writing, both songs/poems and stories like he did for this! It's honestly very educational for anyone who doesn't understand what being transgender is, but also a really great memoir for anyone looking for a good one! ...more
5

Feb 15, 2018

I dont read too many memoirs, so I have little to compare to in terms of gauging writing style. However, I dont feel like Kergil was trying to write the most artistic memoir in existence. His writing is unpretentious, and I think serves more as a valuable story/teaching tool for questioning individuals and people close to them.
Kergil succeeds in providing a useful, riveting, and needed story for the trans-masculine community, continuing the lived advocacy hes practiced for years. He touches all I don’t read too many memoirs, so I have little to compare to in terms of gauging writing style. However, I don’t feel like Kergil was trying to write the most artistic memoir in existence. His writing is unpretentious, and I think serves more as a valuable story/teaching tool for questioning individuals and people close to them.
Kergil succeeds in providing a useful, riveting, and needed story for the trans-masculine community, continuing the lived advocacy he’s practiced for years. He touches all the bases, refuting anti-trans rhetoric simply by documenting his state of existence, a seemingly simple but powerful form of resistance in these tumultuous times.
As someone who is familiar with transgender people, their identity, and the vocabulary used in these communities, I was still able to find Kergil’s personal experiences and overall journey entertaining. I wish the best for his continued success. ...more
4

Jan 19, 2018

I enjoyed this book more than anything I've read recently. It's the story of a young transman named Skylar. He always felt that he was different as a child, but he didn't know the name for it. When he was 15, he met his first transperson and knew that he needed to transition. He started transitioning in his senior year of high school and has become a trans-advocate and Youtuber who speaks about trans issues. I learned a lot from this book and enjoyed the honesty in this memoir.
3

Dec 24, 2017

If I didn't already know about a dozen transgender people, I'd have probably rated this higher, but I'm so used to it that it seems pretty unremarkable. It's really all anyone could want, for the memoir of a trans man to be something so ordinary that everyone reacts to it without batting much of an eye. I hope to see a day in my lifetime where trans people are so universally accepted that someone reads this and wonders why it even needed to be published, because this could really just be any If I didn't already know about a dozen transgender people, I'd have probably rated this higher, but I'm so used to it that it seems pretty unremarkable. It's really all anyone could want, for the memoir of a trans man to be something so ordinary that everyone reacts to it without batting much of an eye. I hope to see a day in my lifetime where trans people are so universally accepted that someone reads this and wonders why it even needed to be published, because this could really just be any random hipster's journal, honestly. ...more
5

Jun 09, 2019

Skylar Kergil shares the fear, pain, and frustration people who are transgender go through before, during, and, sometimes after they finally begin living life as their true self. His strength and courage have been a great source of support to many other young people who are in the throes of discovering their true self. It has been an honor to have Skylar's YouTube videos play in our home for many years in the past and I hope his videos will continue to play in homes for years to come.
5

Jan 31, 2020

For transgender youth this is an amazing book. My mother bought for me for my birthday since she knew I was having a rough time figuring out who I was, a transgender woman, it really relates to people like me, who their whole life have felt a void of something or feel like they're in the wrong place. It's nice to have someone to relate to and in a way this is that relation. I've never felt more connected to the author after this book understanding his transition and how it started and ended, for For transgender youth this is an amazing book. My mother bought for me for my birthday since she knew I was having a rough time figuring out who I was, a transgender woman, it really relates to people like me, who their whole life have felt a void of something or feel like they're in the wrong place. It's nice to have someone to relate to and in a way this is that relation. I've never felt more connected to the author after this book understanding his transition and how it started and ended, for those of you interested in what being transgender is like and support or you are transgender mtf or ftm this book is the one to read. Thanks Skylar for this amazing book. ...more
4

Jun 21, 2019

This was a truly eye-opening story that delved deep into the transitional experience of transgender youth. What I especially loved about this was that it was raw and personal, but it was also accessible for people who know very little about transgender struggles or about the LGBTQ+ community at all. I think stories like this are so inspirational because they are so brave. Skylar never had to bear this inside perspective of his personal life to the world, but he chose to so that he could advocate This was a truly eye-opening story that delved deep into the transitional experience of transgender youth. What I especially loved about this was that it was raw and personal, but it was also accessible for people who know very little about transgender struggles or about the LGBTQ+ community at all. I think stories like this are so inspirational because they are so brave. Skylar never had to bear this inside perspective of his personal life to the world, but he chose to so that he could advocate for his community and be a resource for other young people going through the same things. It's really an important read and I think I'm much better for it. ...more
4

Nov 26, 2019

4.5 stars

Important quotes
But maybe because in many ways, American society favors men, they could understand why a girl would act like a boy. The idea of the opposite, however, likely seemed preposterous.

I felt embarrassed. I felt like I was a creepy boy sitting in this classroom full of girls learning about their bodies. I felt like I was learning something I wasnt supposed to know. I was accidentally admitted into the secret Girls to Women Club and it wasnt cool.

All I wanted to ask was, So 4.5 stars

Important quotes
“But maybe because in many ways, American society favors men, they could understand why a girl would act like a boy. The idea of the opposite, however, likely seemed preposterous.”

“I felt embarrassed. I felt like I was a creepy boy sitting in this classroom full of girls learning about their bodies. I felt like I was learning something I wasn’t supposed to know. I was accidentally admitted into the secret “Girls to Women Club” and it wasn’t cool.”

“All I wanted to ask was, “So … how can I go through that puberty instead of this one?”

“Slowly, over time, I let that community drift into the back of my mind as I figured out I was simply a boy who looked like a boy. Not a girl who looked like a boy. Not a girl pretending to be a boy online. Just … a boy.”

“As she began to chop away bits and pieces, I felt a quite literal weight being lifted. Within a half hour, I felt transformed in a way that I can’t articulate. The way that hair alludes to gender, the way that hair frames and changes a face, the way that others would comment on my hair—all of these things changed in an instant.
I looked different and I felt different. I felt more confident.”

“That would be the first of many misgenderings that began to help me define what was going on inside of me.”

“My head still swirling, I smiled at the awkwardness of this man’s daughter calling me a boy to the emergency responder and then the man clarifying that he could tell, once up close, that I was a girl. My short hair, baggy clothes, and accessories had clearly read “boy” to his young daughter. But because my backpack was a single shoulder bag, sometimes the strap fell right between the two mountains on my chest, highlighting them even underneath dark layers. Upon hearing my voice and seeing me up close, the father had quickly registered that I was female and, possibly thinking that I was offended at his daughter’s misgendering, had tried to remedy the pronoun situation.”

“I still hadn’t arranged any thoughts, my head was pounding. But that young girl yelling “BOY” into the phone brightened the whole situation. I didn’t know why at the time, but I knew something felt right amid all this chaos.”

“From everything I gathered at the courthouse, he may or may not have thought I was a gay male teenager walking by and targeted me as a hate crime. The thought of that sickened me but at the same time, if I passed as a gay male, the word male was in there, and I was beginning to question how I felt about that word being associated with me.”

“Calm, quiet, and peaceful again, I wandered through the forest and didn’t tell my dad about the ice cracking on the lake. I didn’t tell him about the rush of excitement, followed quickly by horror and fear. I didn’t tell him that I was afraid my girlfriend had potentially cheated on me while I was away. I didn’t tell him that I was beginning to realize I might be a boy. I didn’t tell him much at all, except that the nachos were delicious as usual.”

“Roughly 50% of transgender teens live to see 18.”

“Gender is a construct and I feel like I haven’t had a chance to construct my own”

“After many years of having the release of “pretending” to be a boy online, I now knew I simply was a boy. A transgender boy, in fact.”

“The freedom I wanted was not going to be free.”

“The other people attending were not happy to be there. They ranged from not having time in their school day schedules due to failing classes to being absent from day gym too many times. Me? I was just transgender, my own individual delinquent of the binary system.”

“Why couldn’t I use the bathroom in peace? Why couldn’t I enter a bathroom that corresponded with the sex my birth certificate without causing a disturbance? Why couldn’t I enter a bathroom that corresponded with my gender identity without worrying about my safety? Why weren’t there any options for those who drift in between, those who aren’t seen, those who don’t have a gender?”

“It was weird, it wasn’t beautiful.
Yet I felt beautiful.
I felt whole, even while I was oozing out of various parts of my chest. I felt complete, even though I wouldn’t be able to lift much of anything for a month nor raise my arms much while I was healing.”

“Listen, anyone who is recommended to take a laxative: take the laxative. Just take it. Don’t delay.”

“I realized then that I couldn’t tell them what had been so amazing without telling them I was transgender. I couldn’t tell them about the best day of my life without telling them I was transgender. I couldn’t share the details of my break without divulging my transgender status.”

“Yes. There are a few moments in my life when I didn’t think I would make it. But when I reach toward my guitar, toward my pen and paper, toward my YouTube channel, toward my empty canvas and paint, I know I can. When I reach out to my closest friends, to strangers on Tumblr, to my mom via text, I know it will be okay. There are some moments in my life when I didn’t think I would make it, but I did. And I do. And I will.”
...more
5

Sep 24, 2017

A great read that brings you into Sky's experience transitioning to the man he is today. His voice comes through clear and unfiltered. I would recommend this book to anyone, but especially teens or parents who aren't familiar with what it means to be transgender - Sky's shares his story with a friendly attitude and is always honest throughout.
5

Sep 07, 2017

I finished this book in three days, despite having many other things to do. It is written in a colloquial, genuine tone that doesn't just speak to an impersonal audience, but to real people. It engaged my emotions and as I began to feel a personal connection to the story, I couldn't put it down. Kergil's childhood experiences were at times amusing, at times painful, but definitely extremely relatable. As a trans man, I was able to gain a new perspective on many similar or shared experiences I finished this book in three days, despite having many other things to do. It is written in a colloquial, genuine tone that doesn't just speak to an impersonal audience, but to real people. It engaged my emotions and as I began to feel a personal connection to the story, I couldn't put it down. Kergil's childhood experiences were at times amusing, at times painful, but definitely extremely relatable. As a trans man, I was able to gain a new perspective on many similar or shared experiences between the author and myself. Highly recommended for trans youth and anyone curious or perhaps looking for advice. Kergil's insights are legitimate, especially those offered by his parents in the interview section of the book. ...more
4

May 21, 2018

   

I will live and I will exist. There is more than enough light for every one of us; we just need to share it.

Re-Humanizing the Transmasculine Community, page 8/8

   I had never heard of Skylar Kergil or his vlogging or anything else he has done before picking up this book. I think I found his book through a book email recommendation list I subscribe to, and so I asked my home library to obtain a copy of the ebook version so I could read it despite the distance between me and my library (an    

I will live and I will exist. There is more than enough light for every one of us; we just need to share it.

–Re-Humanizing the Transmasculine Community, page 8/8

   I had never heard of Skylar Kergil or his vlogging or anything else he has done before picking up this book. I think I found his book through a book email recommendation list I subscribe to, and so I asked my home library to obtain a copy of the ebook version so I could read it despite the distance between me and my library (an ocean….). Sure enough, they bought it a couple weeks ago, and I was the first one to be able to read it.

   And what a read it was. I found myself immersed so easily in Skylar’s story; he has a very comfortable tone to read, and the way he divided up the chapters made for many very short, snippet-like (yet complete) chapters. They were bite-sized pieces, easy to bite off, though rich in flavor and nuances. Each chapter had its own theme, and for the most part, he unfolded his story chronologically. It was only towards the very end of the book that the chronology became less defined/more bouncy. Plus, many of the later chapters consisted of themes/ideas/scenes that didn’t fit neatly into the rest of the timeline before, but needed a place to go so they ended up at the end (hence the 4 star rating).

   Skylar has a way of making his story read very positive and uplifting, even though he had a hard time learning who he was, navigating the waters “before he had the words”, and the bumps he encountered along the way. Despite the difficulties he encountered, they served to accentuate that much more how much Skylar was able to do, to learn, to accomplish; the bumps made the positivity you feel from his story that much stronger.

   I hope that more people open themselves up to his story, and the stories of many more members of the LGBTQ+ community, and realize that we are all human, and that indeed, there is “no right way or wrong way”, and that we should each have the freedom and support from the world community to find and embrace who we are and who we are meant to be, no matter what one’s orientation, sexuality, or skin tone/creed/religion. We are humanity. There is room for each and every one of us to be kind to each other and accept one another for who we are.

Favorite quotes:
   Every transition is unique. There are choices we all make every day that shape who we become. There is no right way or wrong way. There are no requirements for being transgender. Some people are transgender; until you hear their stories, you may not know what that means to them.
   I am still learning. – Speaking, page 6/6

    “Gender is a social construct. […W]hen we are born, they designate our sex on our birth certificates. Like, mine says F. My mom’s says F. And my dad’s says M. But that’s just biology. When people showed up at the hospital with all this pink stuff, pink blanket, pink hat to wrap around my head—that was gender. That was when they gendered me: Because this child has XX chromosomes and we marked it as an F, we will call it she and her and she will be a beautiful baby princess girl!” – Dissection and the Construct of Gender, page 6/8

   I may not find love, but maybe, just maybe, I will find love for myself. -- Questioning While Certain, page 5/5

    “[…] That’s how you figure life out, you know? You gotta ask questions. So sure, go [to therapy] and make sure to ask the right questions.” – Coming Out, page 4/10

    “Otherwise,” [Rachel] explained, “instead of society harming a transgender person, that individual may turn on themselves, no longer feeling capable of being seen. While some may think of this as a choice, it’s important to know that, like sexual orientation, it’s not. The most recent studies show that family acceptance has the largest impact on the health and well-being of a transgender child.” – 2008, page 9/14

   Laws prohibit transgender people from using public accommodations that are gendered; the fear rhetoric around what a transgender person may be doing inside the bathroom (preying on children, something sinister, something else ridiculous) perpetuates this problem throughout the US. Transgender people all can be subjected to persecution for merely needing to pee.
   What transgender people do inside bathrooms—check themselves out in the mirror, use the toilet, put on makeup, wash their hands—is no different from what cisgender people do inside bathrooms.
   Someone who is planning on doing something illegal is going to do it regardless if the symbol on the door is wearing pants or is wearing a skirt or is gender neutral. –Bathroom Bouncer, page 6-7/7

   Anonymity does a funny thing.
   It makes us feel like we can say or do anything without consequences. Maybe we could say nice things instead. […what] we say and what we do matters, whether we’re online or face to face. – When People Aren’t Kind, page 6/7

    [...] I wanted to know that it was what you needed to be you. – Conversation with Mom, page 5/13

   The fact that you are transgender is sort of like having blue eyes to people once they know you. […] People like you for you. […] I wanted family to see you and talk to you as part of learning about your transition as you are you … both your past you and future you. -- Conversation with Mom, page 8/13

   What do you hope for in this world?
   Tolerance. If everyone accepted others for who they are and didn’t try to force them to change to be the same as they are, we would be much better. Unfortunately, it seems we are entering a period of great intolerance in the world. I believe in letting everyone live their lives, with the caveat that I don’t expect folks to be intolerant of me and my family. Don’t hurt me, I won’t hurt you. -- Conversation with mom, page 12-13/13

   All I needed to know was that you were true and being true to yourself and that this was your honest feeling. […] The only life I can lead is my own. I can’t lead your life though. I can love you till the end of the world but I can’t lead your life, bottom line. -- Conversation with Dad, page 4/8

   I’d like to see something from another planet land peacefully on Earth and wake people up to the fact that there is way more out there than we could ever imagine. And once that happens, I think it could sober up the countries on this planet to realize—we should get over our petty differences. We are just a marble in this thing. Let’s put it all in perspective—stop the bickering, stop the petty baloney, stop half the news you hear on a daily basis—something to bring people together to realize we need to help each other. -- Conversation with Dad, page 7-8/8

Typos:
(view spoiler)[Other nights, praying that you couldn’t see the lines of my bra underneath my clothing. – Peter Pan, page 3/6

…I had read about on on a blog I frequented. – Coming Out, page 7/10 – remove extra second ‘on’

…no offense, Sky, you know… --Bathroom Bouncer, page 5/7 – I think Sky is supposed to be spelled Skye like most other places…?

…as an minor requires… -- “I’m an Obama baby!”, page 6/12 “an” should be “a”

…for a long time before switch to conversations… -- A Primary Care Physician, an Ultrasound Technician, and a Surgical Assistant, page 16/16 – “switch” should be “switching”

Amy is pro at dispensing… -- Re-Humanizing the Transmasculine Community, page 6/8 – should be “is a pro”

…and reminded me that every time… -- When People Aren’t Kind, page 3/7 – should be either, “reminded me every time” or “reminded me of it every time” (hide spoiler)]
...more
5

Oct 17, 2018

Skylar Kergil is a transgender male. His true story Before I Had The Words documents his transition from before he came out to the present day. It talks about his struggles and his successes growing up as a transgender individual in the early 2000s. As he started medically transitioning in high school, he began to document his physical changes on his YouTube channel. As time progressed and he went to college and beyond, he started getting recognized on a much bigger level. Not only was he Skylar Kergil is a transgender male. His true story Before I Had The Words documents his transition from before he came out to the present day. It talks about his struggles and his successes growing up as a transgender individual in the early 2000s. As he started medically transitioning in high school, he began to document his physical changes on his YouTube channel. As time progressed and he went to college and beyond, he started getting recognized on a much bigger level. Not only was he getting recognized by fans in public settings, he was beginning to get recognized by much bigger things. As his fan base grew, he was receiving awards for being an LGBT activist. He was given an award from the Trevor Project, and the White House recognized him for his efforts.

As a memoir of a transgender male, this is a very telling book. Opening up and being this intimate about something so private takes a lot of courage. Kergil did an impeccable job of telling his story and captivating the readers. This book is full of drama, heartbreak, love, and personal growth. As this story progresses, the reader watches this sad young girl, shed their skin, and blossom into this strong young man.

Kergil opens up to the struggles of being a transgender man, but also sheds light onto the good things that happen too. To any young transgender person reading this novel, it could serve as a beacon of hope that it will get better. That’s what’s so important about memoirs like this. People can relate what their feeling to what Kergil is talking about, and maybe they won’t feel so alone. ...more
4

Jan 19, 2019

An interesting, personal and readable account of one trans man's journey.
Skylar is very clear through that this is his journey and his alone. I think his point that trans folk are not a homogenous group is so relevant and important.
There is a tendency among cis folk to assume all trans experiences are the same, all lives similar and all sensibilities identical. What a ridiculous thing to think! No other group is assume to have identical members, not even identical twins!
I found Skylar's telling An interesting, personal and readable account of one trans man's journey.
Skylar is very clear through that this is his journey and his alone. I think his point that trans folk are not a homogenous group is so relevant and important.
There is a tendency among cis folk to assume all trans experiences are the same, all lives similar and all sensibilities identical. What a ridiculous thing to think! No other group is assume to have identical members, not even identical twins!
I found Skylar's telling of his experiences to be open, honest and revealing. He talks about how he experienced and processed life both before and after transition. I felt particularly moved by his slow realization of what he was feeling, and of what it actually meant. It must be so scary and confusing to not have the words or concepts for how you are feeling, and not know you are not alone. Both Skylar and I hope that that is now different for trans kids, or at least some of them.

I also really loved the fact that he knows that just because he is okay with discussing some aspects of his life does not mean all trans folk are, or that even he, as a fellow trans person, has the right to ask questions. Cis people need to learn that respect.

Interesting book That taught me a thing or two. Amazing young man is this Skylar. ...more
5

Jun 28, 2018

I really liked this memoir. It was intelligent, well written and touched upon a lot of important issues in the debates we as a society are having about transpeople. (I also recognized the LiveJournal community he discussed) I also believe this book shows the importance for young people being educated on gender diversity at a young age so that treatment/evaluation can begin early if need be, as opposed to bloody surgery later.

I extra recommend this for people in Massachusetts, as a good I really liked this memoir. It was intelligent, well written and touched upon a lot of important issues in the debates we as a society are having about transpeople. (I also recognized the LiveJournal community he discussed) I also believe this book shows the importance for young people being educated on gender diversity at a young age so that treatment/evaluation can begin early if need be, as opposed to bloody surgery later.

I extra recommend this for people in Massachusetts, as a good percentage of it takes place there (I have a cousin who attends the high school and lives in the town Kergil did). With the vote coming up in November, this memoir could be a good educational tool.

While Kergil is allowed to make whatever choices he wishes regarding his YouTube career, I do wish he would remain on the platform. Firstly because I think an older trans voice is always helpful, but in particular because a number of the younger trans YouTubers he names are often accused of only being trans to be trendy, so I think he could offer authority and negate some of these beliefs. ...more
3

Jul 02, 2019

This was recommended to me on Audible, so I picked it up. I had never heard of Skylar Kergil before or watched any of his Youtube videos. This book is probably more for those who have, though I thoroughly enjoyed listening nonetheless. It was moving to hear the author's experiences in his own voice, so I am very glad that I listened instead of reading in hardcopy.

This book would be a great conversation-starter if read by preteens in school or with their parents. Definitely a good resource to This was recommended to me on Audible, so I picked it up. I had never heard of Skylar Kergil before or watched any of his Youtube videos. This book is probably more for those who have, though I thoroughly enjoyed listening nonetheless. It was moving to hear the author's experiences in his own voice, so I am very glad that I listened instead of reading in hardcopy.

This book would be a great conversation-starter if read by preteens in school or with their parents. Definitely a good resource to prompt young people to think about gender and the way they treat peers who may identify as non-binary or LGBTQ.

For me personally, it was a little shallow and had a few too many "hahas" and "ahhhs" for my liking in prose. I think the quality of the writing (which is basic and unpracticed) gives the text a raw quality in an audio format that feels almost conversational - but may have pressed me to DNF this if reading in any other format. ...more
3

Mar 04, 2018

I thought that overall the content if the book was interesting and because I am a Trans man as well, I saw a great many similarities between Skylar's story and my own. The reason that I rated the book so poorly is because I thought that the writing itself was weak and many times I found that I felt like I was reading a paper for a high school class. That's not to say that I think his story is diminished in any way by this, but in my opinion his prose is not very good which made reading the book I thought that overall the content if the book was interesting and because I am a Trans man as well, I saw a great many similarities between Skylar's story and my own. The reason that I rated the book so poorly is because I thought that the writing itself was weak and many times I found that I felt like I was reading a paper for a high school class. That's not to say that I think his story is diminished in any way by this, but in my opinion his prose is not very good which made reading the book more of a chore than it should have been. ...more
5

Oct 26, 2017

A lot of his experiences resonated with me on a personal level. A lot of moments of...oh, wow, someone has felt that way too.

The writing seems a little clumsy at times, but this is still very much worth reading because of the unique perspective of the author. It's an important addition to the growing body of work by the community. I hope he writes more when he is older and more practiced.

Overall, definitely would recommend to other trans men and others/allies interested in the lives of A lot of his experiences resonated with me on a personal level. A lot of moments of...oh, wow, someone has felt that way too.

The writing seems a little clumsy at times, but this is still very much worth reading because of the unique perspective of the author. It's an important addition to the growing body of work by the community. I hope he writes more when he is older and more practiced.

Overall, definitely would recommend to other trans men and others/allies interested in the lives of transgender youth. ...more
4

Sep 11, 2018

This is a really good book and is very informative. You truly get to see how Skylar feels every step of the way. Hes a very brave human being. This was an easy read and was written in a diary format, my only complaint is about the number of typos and grammatical/spelling errors within the book. The editor couldve done a much better job. I laughed and teared up while reading Skys memoir. Id recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about the struggles of being transgender. Id also This is a really good book and is very informative. You truly get to see how Skylar feels every step of the way. He’s a very brave human being. This was an easy read and was written in a diary format, my only complaint is about the number of typos and grammatical/spelling errors within the book. The editor could’ve done a much better job. I laughed and teared up while reading Sky’s memoir. I’d recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about the struggles of being transgender. I’d also recommend it to anyone who is trans or has a family member or friend who’s trans. ...more
5

Sep 10, 2017

Remarkable, raw talent - a story sharing Skylar' s experience as FtM to help and inspire LGBTQ youth.
I could not stop reading. It was such a pleasure to have read about Skylar' s experiences. Sharing the pain, love, friendship, excitement, rejection, and acceptance. I highly recommend that everyone reads this as to help inspire youth. It gives insight as to his experiences and struggles with name change, the medical bullshit, invasive and violating questions of being a transgender man.
A fast, Remarkable, raw talent - a story sharing Skylar' s experience as FtM to help and inspire LGBTQ youth.
I could not stop reading. It was such a pleasure to have read about Skylar' s experiences. Sharing the pain, love, friendship, excitement, rejection, and acceptance. I highly recommend that everyone reads this as to help inspire youth. It gives insight as to his experiences and struggles with name change, the medical bullshit, invasive and violating questions of being a transgender man.
A fast, lovely read. I hope he writes more in the future. ...more
5

Mar 20, 2018

This book is a little of the traditional transgender type book, talking about a journey of self discovery and living as their true self. Although, it appears not unlike the rest, this one, shows a different aspect of having a family that is mostly supportive. With the exception of an unsupportive older sibling early in transition, this gives hope and offsets all the other transgender youth who may come out to find themselves homeless and without a supportive family. This is informative, while This book is a little of the traditional transgender type book, talking about a journey of self discovery and living as their true self. Although, it appears not unlike the rest, this one, shows a different aspect of having a family that is mostly supportive. With the exception of an unsupportive older sibling early in transition, this gives hope and offsets all the other transgender youth who may come out to find themselves homeless and without a supportive family. This is informative, while feeling like a casual conversation with a friend. ...more
4

Nov 28, 2017

I'm glad I read this; my daughter has a transgender friend, whom I find to be a very wonderful person, although I don't know him very well personally. I was thinking of him the entire time I was reading this. Unfortunately, I just learned that his mother was not at all supportive of him. I think one of the most enjoyable parts of the book for me was the final three chapters, in which Skylar interviews his mother, his father, and his brother.
5

Jul 22, 2019

Before I had Words is a wonderful account of a transgender mans story. I really loved how reader got his whole experience- from age 4 to his entire childhood onwards. These parts of the story were what other coming out stories lack. The small details about strange computer encounters, to his father bringing home a turtle really make the book memorable. It was an easy read with short chapters, and I couldnt put it down. “Before I had Words” is a wonderful account of a transgender man’s story. I really loved how reader got his whole experience- from age 4 to his entire childhood onwards. These parts of the story were what other “coming out” stories lack. The small details about strange computer encounters, to his father bringing home a turtle really make the book memorable. It was an easy read with short chapters, and I couldn’t put it down. ...more
3

Mar 23, 2018

I am glad I picked this book up. I found it to be interesting and a good way to understand how transgender men or women feel, the troubles they go through with feeling love and acceptance for something that should just be easy. I only wish that the writing was better. It seemed more of a diary. But I feel it is still worth the read for anyone.
5

Jun 26, 2018

This book was amazing. As a fellow transgender man, so many of Skylar expeirnces he felt growing up I understand exactly how he felt because I felt similar things. It is awesome to read and understand that even though we all walk diffrent paths in this life, that at our core we are human. I love his raw emotion and how he didn't sugar coat anything in there.
5

Jan 30, 2018

I found this book very interesting, helped me understand my brother who is also transgender too. They are f2m too. I found how they can struggle with their body and inner self to become who they truly are. I like how this book helps you understand how a transgender person deals with their body changes and how they transition to be their true self.

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