Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome Info

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*Gold Medal Winner in the Sexuality / Relationships Category
of the 2011 IPPY Awards*

* Honorary Mention in the 2010 BOTYA
Awards Women's Issues Category *

Girls with Asperger's Syndrome
are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have
been recognised, help is often not readily available. The image of
coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask
difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness.

This is a
must-have handbook written by an Aspergirl for Aspergirls, young and
old. Rudy Simone guides you through every aspect of both personal and
professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt, and savant
skills, to friendships, romance and marriage. Employment, career,
rituals and routines are also covered, along with depression, meltdowns
and being misunderstood. Including the reflections of over thirty-five
women diagnosed as on the spectrum, as well as some partners and
parents, Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls
need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories,
anecdotes, and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and
females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception, rejecting
negative views of Aspergirls and empowering them to lead happy and
fulfilled lives.

This book will be essential reading for females
of any age diagnosed with AS, and those who think they might be on the
spectrum. It will also be of interest to partners and loved ones of
Aspergirls, and anybody interested either professionally or academically
in Asperger's Syndrome.


Average Ratings and Reviews
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Reviews for Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome:

3

Dec 16, 2012

I thought the first half of this book was very good, showing how the core elements of aspergers manifest in daily life in different ways for different women and girls. However, about halfway through it seems like the author stopped taking in as many perspectives, or something, because what she was talking about stopped being relevant to me.

I have aspergers, but I don't get temper meltdowns or have depression. She seems to say that all aspergirls have these problems, but you don't have to have I thought the first half of this book was very good, showing how the core elements of aspergers manifest in daily life in different ways for different women and girls. However, about halfway through it seems like the author stopped taking in as many perspectives, or something, because what she was talking about stopped being relevant to me.

I have aspergers, but I don't get temper meltdowns or have depression. She seems to say that all aspergirls have these problems, but you don't have to have those problems to be an asperrgirl. I know I'm lucky not to have those problems and that they are problems for many aspergirls, so I'm glad she included them, but she should acknowledge in some way that those problems are not universal.

One area I think the book was lacking in was a discussion of social and/or generalized anxiety. It was touched on many times, but there was never a discussion dedicated to it, which I think is a shame because I know that is a common problem encountered by aspergirls. Another subject I wish it had touched on was Queer aspergirls. The romance section was entirely focused on male partners, and I wish she would have acknowledged in this chapter that some aspergirls aren't straight.

One final negative point: this book relies on a lot of pseudoscience, most particularly the last chapter about gastrointestinal problems. Anecdotes and studies/surveys without a control ARE NOT SCIENCE AND DO NOT PROVE ANYTHING. The author gives a list of 'gastrointestinal problems' (list includes migraines) and says that 9/10 aspergirls have these problems. HOWEVER, the list is so broad (includes very common problems such as heartburn) that I'm sure if you gave this survey to a representative sample of NTs you would get 9/10 people having at least one of these problems.

As much as I appreciated the first half of the book, especially the section on mutism, I wish I hadn't forked $10 over for it, because large parts of it were not relevant to me, and, being a biology major, the pseudoscience really, really, really bugged me. I would give the first half 4.5/5 stars and the second half 1.5/5 stars. ...more
3

Feb 06, 2012

Simone's passion is clear here, but sometimes a bit muddled and misguided. I'm trying to find it charming, though.

A few things that are bothersome about her writing: often contradicts herself. Within a few pages, she'll say that girls with Aspergers are emotionally immature, then talk about how she is more mature than her peers, than go back to discussing her fondness for kids' movies because she's...emotionally immature.

She discusses how women on the autism spectrum often don't have an innate Simone's passion is clear here, but sometimes a bit muddled and misguided. I'm trying to find it charming, though.

A few things that are bothersome about her writing: often contradicts herself. Within a few pages, she'll say that girls with Aspergers are emotionally immature, then talk about how she is more mature than her peers, than go back to discussing her fondness for kids' movies because she's...emotionally immature.

She discusses how women on the autism spectrum often don't have an innate understanding of femininity and are drawn to androgynous expressions of gender - and yet, remains firmly within a heteronormative, cisgendered perspective. Perhaps I am judgmental of this perspective because I come from a queer background.

It is also mildly irritating that she consistently makes proclamative statements about very specific things that individuals with Aspergers would be good at: for example, "Dads, the great thing about having an AS daughter is that she will be more likely to want to help you fix the car and build a fort than help Mom cook dinner"; at other points in the book she essentially states that Aspergirls will be good at dismantling computers but not cooking imaginative dinners. I find this kind of essentializing to be somewhat detrimental; those things do not define Aspergers and will probably alienate Aspergirls who ARE interested in non-science/math things looking for guidance and then being told that yet again, here's a place where they don't fit in properly.

Some of the advice is very solid whereas other bits are misguided at best. She lambasts college counselors at their efforts to get an Aspergirl to "try harder" at socializing; yet her very own advice to Aspergirls in the socialization section is (paraphrased) "keep trying at socializing until you are better at it". ...more
3

Dec 15, 2011

This was a book that definitely gave me a lot to think about... because even though I'm positive my computer design engineer father has Aspergers, it never occurred to me until recently that I might have it. I'm now pretty sure that I do - the reasons are too numerous to list, but having had the same breakfast for the past 20+ years and finding my weird pattern-matching ability described as "fluid intelligence" and an Aspergers savant skill... Yeah.

I also had a lot of trouble with this book, This was a book that definitely gave me a lot to think about... because even though I'm positive my computer design engineer father has Aspergers, it never occurred to me until recently that I might have it. I'm now pretty sure that I do - the reasons are too numerous to list, but having had the same breakfast for the past 20+ years and finding my weird pattern-matching ability described as "fluid intelligence" and an Aspergers savant skill... Yeah.

I also had a lot of trouble with this book, because it seemed too touchy-feely, without enough references beyond the author's other books. And then I hit a sentence that exponentially increased my resistance to the book: "...depression exists because there's a problem in your life." Oh, hellafuckno - sometimes it does, to be sure, but sometimes it's a purely biochemical sort of thing that you have little control over. ...more
1

Nov 16, 2014

This book embodies a disturbing paradox, pointed out to me by someone close to this topic personally: on the one hand, Simone appropriates a clinical label (which is now part of Autism Spectrum Disorder, far less "cool" than Asperger's BTW) to give weight to her creation of a new identity, "Aspergirl'; yet on the other hand she essentially dismisses the disciplines of psychiatry and psychology as backwards and ineffective. This feels disingenuous, a calculated move to gather in those feeling This book embodies a disturbing paradox, pointed out to me by someone close to this topic personally: on the one hand, Simone appropriates a clinical label (which is now part of Autism Spectrum Disorder, far less "cool" than Asperger's BTW) to give weight to her creation of a new identity, "Aspergirl'; yet on the other hand she essentially dismisses the disciplines of psychiatry and psychology as backwards and ineffective. This feels disingenuous, a calculated move to gather in those feeling like outsiders and then isolate them from the discipline that would, in my mind, give concrete, data-backed answers and recommendations... which might not validate Simone's viewpoint, all the more reason for her to dismiss and discredit it.

I was a quirky, smart, sometimes painfully awkward girl, and I've known many quirky girls and women in my lifetime. All of us grew and adapted; a few better than others, but not a single one of us would I label with Asperger's or autism. As a mental health clinician I see girls and women with a wide range of abilities and temperaments and issues, and perhaps one so far meets the criteria for ASD because she experiences actual impairment - not just discomfort - in various life domains. What good is it to label an entire range of girls and women who don't meet society's norms but still function well? Simone seems hell-bent, frankly, on doing just that, and I wonder, again, how this constructed identity (with a truly "heavy" clinical label of Austism now) helps people. Really, what's wrong with being "just quirky"?

To me, this book feels very cultish, like, look, you're part of this unique group of girls and women, and it's all really fabulous and any trouble you have is either society's misunderstanding of you or the psychologists' misunderstanding or... someone else's fault. Yes, society has rigid roles and expectations, and we should celebrate differences and unique abilities rather than burden people with a sense of being "not enough." But to clinically label people who really are doing okay, especially with a label that applies to people - true autistics, who along with their families far more often struggle with severe mental, cognitive, and emotional difficulties - kind of offends me. Autism is not "cool," it is, when properly diagnosed by a trained, sensitive, and yes, compassionate clinician, a serious issue usually requiring intensive lifelong care. I am not an Aspergirl. My daughter is not an Aspergirl. My neighbor's daughter diagnosed with autism at age 2 is not an Aspergirl, and her mother said she almost threw the book out a window after reading about 3 paragraphs. ...more
4

Jan 28, 2011

I liked reading this book about autistic females and am autistic myself, though most of the women described are higher functioning than me. I looked more "typically" autistic as a child and continue to struggle with daily living tasks as an adult. I related a lot to the discussion on relationships and meltdowns (I liked the idea of "depression meltdowns" as I experience those, as well, though that's partly due to my bipolar). I do not believe autism is caused by gut/stomach issues, though, which I liked reading this book about autistic females and am autistic myself, though most of the women described are higher functioning than me. I looked more "typically" autistic as a child and continue to struggle with daily living tasks as an adult. I related a lot to the discussion on relationships and meltdowns (I liked the idea of "depression meltdowns" as I experience those, as well, though that's partly due to my bipolar). I do not believe autism is caused by gut/stomach issues, though, which the book delved into toward the end. Though I will admit it seems like a lot of autistics have stomach issues, as well as things like depression or anxiety. I don't know how much information was "new" to me, but things were presented in a new manner, at least. ...more
3

Jun 21, 2018

This book is no doubt important – the author makes an excellent point at the beginning about how the entire Asperger’s diagnosis has been modeled after male patients, and that the hallmarks of the disorder in women are less well-defined. I appreciate that she obviously did her homework in speaking with a large group of “Aspergirls” and genuinely giving her best advice to young women with Asperger’s and to their parents.

However, this book is entirely based on anecdotal evidence with little to no This book is no doubt important – the author makes an excellent point at the beginning about how the entire Asperger’s diagnosis has been modeled after male patients, and that the hallmarks of the disorder in women are less well-defined. I appreciate that she obviously did her homework in speaking with a large group of “Aspergirls” and genuinely giving her best advice to young women with Asperger’s and to their parents.

However, this book is entirely based on anecdotal evidence with little to no actual research or science involved. In the later chapters, after the author suggests that some Aspergirls may have psychic powers, she makes completely unfounded generalizations about gut disorders being a possible root cause of ASD and then proceeds to organize a nebulous trial with ten volunteers and a mysterious gut-benefiting vitamin supplement – using no controls.

As someone who has a background in science, this was hard to take, and I’m nervous that some women may read this book and take everything here as gospel without any further research.
...more
4

Jan 09, 2011

Being a parent of a girl with autism biases my reading interest toward books on the topic, and to date I have read a lot. Aspergirls is quite atypical of many i have read and refreshing in style.

Rudy Simone has Asperger's Syndrome (AS) and has been a strong advocate for those with the condition for some years. Her approach to writing is to say it as it is, and simply. She does this to good effect. What I particularly like about this tome is she quotes regularly from interviewed girls and women Being a parent of a girl with autism biases my reading interest toward books on the topic, and to date I have read a lot. Aspergirls is quite atypical of many i have read and refreshing in style.

Rudy Simone has Asperger's Syndrome (AS) and has been a strong advocate for those with the condition for some years. Her approach to writing is to say it as it is, and simply. She does this to good effect. What I particularly like about this tome is she quotes regularly from interviewed girls and women with AS and consequently adds many voices to hers in her coverage of a myriad of topics, from challenges in schools, to the impact of puberty on aspergirls. Nothing is taboo. There were also a few quotations that caused me to laugh out loud - it's good to be able to infuse some humor in what is a topic that can get quite serious.

Another aspect of the structure of the book is that at the end of each topic (chapter), Rudy summarizes by providing direct advice to aspergirls, followed by advice to aspergirl parents. This is smart, very smart, as the two target audiences are vastly different and covers her audience well - and more importantly, sends clear messages to the two most important groups that affect aspergirls.

I found the book useful, but I have to concede that the book is overwhelmingly targeting Asperger's Syndrome, not other folk on the Autism Spectrum. My daughter is a high functioning autistic girl, and has many challenges that differ from AS. And yet the common ground was useful, evidenced by having discussions with my wife on various statements made.

All in all I found the book useful, clearly written, and sensibly structured. ...more
3

Apr 22, 2013

I've struggled with writing this review, because this book has good qualities and I think it's very helpful for someone who suspects that they or their child has AS. However, it is heavily slanted by the personal experiences and point of view of the author. So much so that at times it put me off or distracted me from the information I wanted.

I would recommend this book to teen and adult readers, but there's not much that can help a young child. Though there are stories that can help the parent I've struggled with writing this review, because this book has good qualities and I think it's very helpful for someone who suspects that they or their child has AS. However, it is heavily slanted by the personal experiences and point of view of the author. So much so that at times it put me off or distracted me from the information I wanted.

I would recommend this book to teen and adult readers, but there's not much that can help a young child. Though there are stories that can help the parent of a young child better understand their behavior. I would also recommend this book to anyone interested in better understanding AS, and especially for anyone looking to better understand how gender is a factor in diagnose and social acceptance of disabilities like AS and Autism.

I ESPECIALLY recommend this book to mothers of autistic children. I suspect that many of us actually have undiagnosed AS and reading this book really highlights the similarities I share with my children and helped me better understand and empathize with them.

On the whole this a good, book, a fast read and very informative. I just wish there had been some other, contrasting opinions and experiences to balance the author's views. ...more
1

Jan 25, 2016

This book is about Rudy Simone's life experience as an "Aspergirl." She comes across as bitter and her views are anything but empowering. She states that people with AS should embrace their unique strengths and then goes on to suggest that autism is caused by the mythical "leaky gut" and that symptoms can be mitigated by taking certain supplements. This is pseudoscience at its best. She also claims that Aspergirls have psychic powers. I'm not kidding. If you are a parent considering giving this This book is about Rudy Simone's life experience as an "Aspergirl." She comes across as bitter and her views are anything but empowering. She states that people with AS should embrace their unique strengths and then goes on to suggest that autism is caused by the mythical "leaky gut" and that symptoms can be mitigated by taking certain supplements. This is pseudoscience at its best. She also claims that Aspergirls have psychic powers. I'm not kidding. If you are a parent considering giving this book to your daughter, please read it thoroughly first. Your daughter deserves accurate, scientifically-based information about AS. Simone paints a bleak picture for Aspergirls, suggesting that they are unlikely to complete college or find suitable mates without a lot of extra support. Her self-loathing is evident in her writing and I do believe her views could be harmful to young women. I hope another, better-qualified advocate will write a book on empowerment for Aspie girls. This one fails miserably. ...more
3

Oct 22, 2011

People with Asperger's are well known for their ability to focus, their often higher than average IQ's, and for sometimes having savant abilities. They are often considered nerds or brains because of their intellectual abilities coupled with their social awkwardness. Whenever I've seen anything on TV about Asperger's, it's always about a socially inept genius sort. That seems to be the common stereotype of people who have Asperger's. But imagine if you were diagnosed with Asperger's and had the People with Asperger's are well known for their ability to focus, their often higher than average IQ's, and for sometimes having savant abilities. They are often considered nerds or brains because of their intellectual abilities coupled with their social awkwardness. Whenever I've seen anything on TV about Asperger's, it's always about a socially inept genius sort. That seems to be the common stereotype of people who have Asperger's. But imagine if you were diagnosed with Asperger's and had the social ineptness but not the smarts. Imagine that your IQ was in fact lower than average, and that you had great difficulty focusing for very long. Well, that's my niece. She was diagnosed with both Asperger's and ADHD. As one Aspie girl in the book said,

"What really makes me uncomfortable is when Aspie campaigners couch that "leave us alone" argument in the myth that all AS people are super intelligent mathematician science savants and some sort of master race. That makes me feel, as an Aspie who doesn't have any of that, I'm a double fail - I fail at being normal, and also fail at being AS."

My niece is in special education and at least a couple years behind most kids her age. She has difficulty focusing for long periods, and does not like reading like the typical Aspie does. She is not androgynous in appearance or interests like the book's author says most Aspie girls are. My niece is a girly girl who likes wearing makeup and doing her hair. Her favorite color is pink and she loves shopping, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, and Aquamarine. Her senses do not seem to be easily overloaded and she does not have an aversion to touch like many Aspies. She loves hugs, and can never seem to get enough of them.

What my niece does have in common with "typical" Aspies is lack of social aptitude, literal mindedness, difficulty making friends, anxiety, panic attacks and meltdowns, stimming, echolalia, selective mutism, physical clumsiness,and the need for structure, routine, and predictability.

Due to my niece's dual diagnosis of Asperger's and ADHD, reading a book on Asperger's is sometimes frustrating because a lot of it does not apply to her, and in fact can run counter to her symptoms and personality. I would like to note that I know another person,an adult male with Asperger's, who also has other learning disabilities. It makes me wonder how many other Aspies are out there who have also been diagnosed with other learning disabilities.

I think the biggest way this book helped was in making me realize that my mother and I need to listen to our niece more, and not be too quick to think she's trying to manipulate to get out of things. I think a lot of this has come from perhaps well-intentioned but uninformed counselors and teachers. I also have a better idea of how to deal with meltdowns. I realize that a lot of what I've done might have made things worse. The absolutely new thing I learned was about selective mutism, and I now recognize it in my niece, have relayed that info to my mom, and she now knows not to pressure my niece for a response when she is in this state.
...more
1

Jan 07, 2013

Self-centered writing claiming to speak for all asperger women while obviously drawing from personal experience/thinking. Quoted other aspergirls without connecting us to the plight/journey of them. Consistently uses we in place of I and drove me mad with hypocritical statements. I put it down halfway through. Sorely disappointed and probably too harsh as a result. Overall, annoying and unhelpful. Suggest Be Different: Adventures of a Free Range Aspergian by John Elder Robison instead.
3

Jul 21, 2013

Good basic information for those new to Asperger's, esp. as manifested in females. I liked the quotes from various Aspergirls, but found the writing to be rather choppy at times, with lack of flow and abrupt transitions in topics. What I didn't like was Simone's one-sided and unsubstantiated view on the autism/"leaky gut" connection. In Chapter 19, Stomach Issues and Autism, she wrote, "Most of the world's top autism researchers and doctors now believe that...autism is initially caused by a Good basic information for those new to Asperger's, esp. as manifested in females. I liked the quotes from various Aspergirls, but found the writing to be rather choppy at times, with lack of flow and abrupt transitions in topics. What I didn't like was Simone's one-sided and unsubstantiated view on the autism/"leaky gut" connection. In Chapter 19, Stomach Issues and Autism, she wrote, "Most of the world's top autism researchers and doctors now believe that...autism is initially caused by a compromised digestive system which allows toxins from the environment to get into the bloodstream and impact brain development at crucial stages." There is no citation for this claim, in reality "most" of the most renowned experts do not believe this, and it has never been proven or substantiated to date in any clinical studies. The "experts" she does list by name are pop psychology types. Other than this obvious bias and lack of proof, I thought the book was a nice introduction to the very different way that AS affects women vs men. ...more
2

Apr 23, 2013

My first impression of this book was that it is a load of anecdotal magical thinking. The author interviewed an unknown number of women for this book. When talking about their general experiences she always used vague words like, some, most, etc. There is nothing scientific about this book. If you are a skeptic like me, don't read it. The authors psychic powers will offend you.

As it goes on, the author seems to grow a little but is still writing from crazy town. Her advice to a tween/teen My first impression of this book was that it is a load of anecdotal magical thinking. The author interviewed an unknown number of women for this book. When talking about their general experiences she always used vague words like, some, most, etc. There is nothing scientific about this book. If you are a skeptic like me, don't read it. The authors psychic powers will offend you.

As it goes on, the author seems to grow a little but is still writing from crazy town. Her advice to a tween/teen audience is the only worthwhile part of this book. (Little sections at the end of the chapters.) ...more
3

Jan 13, 2015

What a shame! The first third or half of this book had enormous value and promise. However, the second half of the book was something else entirely.

The first seven chapters of this book were very well researched and build on things I had already read in very reputable texts like those of Temple Grandin's. I was very excited about this book because it was telling more of the story that I was already following.

Sadly, after chapter 7, it really fell apart. The authors bitter experience, her very What a shame! The first third or half of this book had enormous value and promise. However, the second half of the book was something else entirely.

The first seven chapters of this book were very well researched and build on things I had already read in very reputable texts like those of Temple Grandin's. I was very excited about this book because it was telling more of the story that I was already following.

Sadly, after chapter 7, it really fell apart. The authors bitter experience, her very liberal worldview and her baggage from failed relationships discolored the rest of the text. The overgeneralization's ran rampant, the pseudoscience was nothing more than a string of bitter anecdotes and her tone was anything other than empowering.

The first seven chapters seem to do an excellent job of saying that folks on the spectrum may or may not have certain tendencies. Starting with chapter 8, she wanted to stick everybody into her box and that did a grave disservice to all the readers who don't exhibit many if any of the issues she writes about.

I was particularly frustrated by how much of the second half of the book sounded like victim speak. Everything was told from the perspective of a victim who is of course, guiltless and blameless in everything. That wore extremely thin.

I am sorry that she had dysfunctional family growing up. I am sorry that she has two failed marriages. I am sorry that she has not had a lot of success in any interpersonal relationships. however, some of this is just plain bad manners. Not everything can be blamed on the spectrum. interpersonal relationships may be more difficult for people on the spectrum but that does not exempt them from having to be less selfish, less self-absorbed and more focused on contributing to relationships rather than expecting relationships to serve them.

...more
3

September 22, 2017

Though it's a little clumsily written, the general insight and very digestible advice into life as a female with Asperger's – which makes up most of the book – is great for a neurotypical like me, and I hope it's helpful for people living with the condition. However, I'm concerned about the pseudosc...Full Review
5

Jan 02, 2011

Choosing the path of letting female "Aspies" themselves speak and then elaborating more on those anecdotes, the author manages to pack an amazing amount of information into a relatively thin book about female expressions of Asperger Syndrome while always keeping the reading light, interesting and memorable. Both practical and insightful in its main aim, stated already in the title: "empowering females with Asperger Syndrome," Aspergirls also highlights the differences between male and female Choosing the path of letting female "Aspies" themselves speak and then elaborating more on those anecdotes, the author manages to pack an amazing amount of information into a relatively thin book about female expressions of Asperger Syndrome while always keeping the reading light, interesting and memorable. Both practical and insightful in its main aim, stated already in the title: "empowering females with Asperger Syndrome," Aspergirls also highlights the differences between male and female expressions of Asperger syndrome, thus offering a much-needed further perspective to the ongoing discourse.

I highly recommend Aspergirls to
- Aspies and those who wonder if they might be "on the spectrum," as it offers a plethora of insights and strategies for living in and coping with a world which often feels like "living on the wrong planet."
- family members & friends of Aspies, as it can be very helpful to gain a deeper understanding of their loved ones, plus offering ideas on how to live harmoniously and in a supportive manner with an "Aspergirl."
- professionals delving into the topic, as it offers an entertaining and inspiring introduction into the practicalities of Asperger Syndrome in females. Note here that Aspergirls is by no means a scientific monography, and should not be read as such--nonetheless its experience-based, practical approach can offer very useful insights to mental healthcare practitioners wishing to assist women with Asperger syndrome.

Beyond the aforementioned audiences Aspergirls can also be worthwhile to read for anyone who is simply interested in the human mind and it's many different expressions--Asperger syndrome being one of them: "different, not less." ...more
4

Feb 07, 2015

I love that the author is an adult Aspergirl. I picked this book up for several reasons: I read an article through a podcast I love and cannot recommend enough, The Mental Illness Happy Hour, I've worked with Aspie kiddos for years, and I feel a young family member has Asperger's and remains undiagnosed.

As one would expect with an Aspie, the writing can be a bit repetitious, yet I still got a lot out of this book. I have worked with 0, yes I wrote 0, girls with Asperger's in my 15 years of I love that the author is an adult Aspergirl. I picked this book up for several reasons: I read an article through a podcast I love and cannot recommend enough, The Mental Illness Happy Hour, I've worked with Aspie kiddos for years, and I feel a young family member has Asperger's and remains undiagnosed.

As one would expect with an Aspie, the writing can be a bit repetitious, yet I still got a lot out of this book. I have worked with 0, yes I wrote 0, girls with Asperger's in my 15 years of working with special needs and high risk populations!! I mean, WTF?!! To read that a lot of these girls and young women are misdiagnosed is no surprise to me. And it breaks my heart.

If you know and love a young lady or woman who has never quite fit in and has never understood why, and has been diagnosed with an array of different disorders over the years, please read this book. Please. Aspergirls, unlike their male peers, often manage to get by for many years because their obsessions are more socially acceptable--boys, dolls, etc.--but then hit a wall socially, and are misunderstood for years, and diagnosed much later in life. Aspergirls also do a more effective job of faking.

I thought this book was wonderful and informative. Thank you, Rudy Simone, for continuing to teach me about something I thought I knew a whole hell of a lot about. ...more
4

Jan 06, 2011

This is a good book. I have nothing negative to say about it except that it partly makes the assumption that society is not responsible for its share of acceptance. Diversity should be actively valued by all people. However I completely agree that an Aspergirl cannot wait for anyone to accept her and accommodate her so it is up to her to get what she needs and to take care of herself and to make an effort to "fit in" with the worlds way of doing things. That doesn't mean measuring success to a This is a good book. I have nothing negative to say about it except that it partly makes the assumption that society is not responsible for its share of acceptance. Diversity should be actively valued by all people. However I completely agree that an Aspergirl cannot wait for anyone to accept her and accommodate her so it is up to her to get what she needs and to take care of herself and to make an effort to "fit in" with the worlds way of doing things. That doesn't mean measuring success to a standard that is not your own however, and Rudy agrees. The overall tone of this book is very empowering and positive. It urges parents to step up to the plate but only after the Aspergirl herself is implored to look within.

My rating partly reflects how much this book influenced me personally and shouldn't detract from the potential value it can provide other Aspergirls. I began reading this as a person who regards themselves with love and care. I am extremely positive and try my best in all challenges. I like myself despite my disability and while I wasn't necessarily in need of empowerment, the messages in this book are absolutely what I would say to an Aspergirl who could use direction and a new way to see herself. ...more
5

May 12, 2012

best book ive read...such a weight lifting off experience. i already thought i had aspergers....this book just confirms it. i dont feel so 'odd' now. im 27 and ive been made to feel odd by society all my life for not wanting kids, not being interested in clothes nor make-up or particularly interested in guys. i also have psychic tendencies too. my mum has read the book too and her opinion?: "god this book is totally you its unreal but too real". i very much identified with this big style. i best book ive read...such a weight lifting off experience. i already thought i had aspergers....this book just confirms it. i dont feel so 'odd' now. im 27 and ive been made to feel odd by society all my life for not wanting kids, not being interested in clothes nor make-up or particularly interested in guys. i also have psychic tendencies too. my mum has read the book too and her opinion?: "god this book is totally you its unreal but too real". i very much identified with this big style. i thought luke jacksons freaks geeks and aspergers was good but hech - this book by rudy is 50 times better! highly recommended:D ...more
2

Jul 02, 2016

I think the subtitle should have been Empowering Ablebodied CisHet White Females with AS, because wow it did not take an intersectional approach to this topic at all.

The good:
- a fast, easy read
- a lot of things in here that I related to

The bad:
- it was very cisheteronormative
- it did not talk about the societal context we live in at all. There was a lot of mention that aspergirls often demonstrate traits that are more socially accepted than asperboys, but no mention of the social conditioning I think the subtitle should have been Empowering Ablebodied CisHet White Females with AS, because wow it did not take an intersectional approach to this topic at all.

The good:
- a fast, easy read
- a lot of things in here that I related to

The bad:
- it was very cisheteronormative
- it did not talk about the societal context we live in at all. There was a lot of mention that aspergirls often demonstrate traits that are more socially accepted than asperboys, but no mention of the social conditioning that leads to this.
- the section on depression made me angry
- there was some bad pseudoscience in the second half ...more
4

Feb 25, 2012

In general, I thought this was a great book. It covered a wide range of topics, included a lot of perspectives, and was written with humour and insight.

I would have appreciated variation in the addresses at the end of the chapters ("To Aspergirls" and "To Parents"), including other involved parties such as partners. This would have been particularly relevant for chapters on sex, marriage and parenting among others!

The book also included a lot of heterosexist language. While the possibility for In general, I thought this was a great book. It covered a wide range of topics, included a lot of perspectives, and was written with humour and insight.

I would have appreciated variation in the addresses at the end of the chapters ("To Aspergirls" and "To Parents"), including other involved parties such as partners. This would have been particularly relevant for chapters on sex, marriage and parenting among others!

The book also included a lot of heterosexist language. While the possibility for female-female relationships were acknowledged occassionally throughout, this acknowledgement was inconsistent and superficial.

Otherwise a good book and a useful read. ...more
2

Jul 06, 2014

I am a girl with aspergers. The book contained alot of sterotypes that may or may not be true. Personally, I relate to the "male characteristics" of aspergers better. Also, most of the topics applied to people who are just introverted or a little weird. Don't use this book as a diagnostic tool. The aspie traits are too broad to really indicate if you have aspergers.
3

Mar 15, 2018

I appreciate Simone's efforts and I did enjoy the book, but what bugged me was that she paints a picture of Aspergirls that not everyone will relate to. For this reason I will definitely not encourage women who haven't been diagnosed to read this book in order to see if they have Asperger's.

There were many things I could relate to, but there is still around 50% that I don't relate to at all. What frustrated me most was how she writes about Aspergirls as women who often have temper meltdowns and I appreciate Simone's efforts and I did enjoy the book, but what bugged me was that she paints a picture of Aspergirls that not everyone will relate to. For this reason I will definitely not encourage women who haven't been diagnosed to read this book in order to see if they have Asperger's.

There were many things I could relate to, but there is still around 50% that I don't relate to at all. What frustrated me most was how she writes about Aspergirls as women who often have temper meltdowns and depression. This is not the case for me and quite some other women AT ALL. In fact I'm someone who rarely gets angry. Really. Most of the women Simone interviewed seemed very emotionally unstable and extremely childish. The latter is also an aspect Simone touches upon a lot. She makes it seem like all Aspergirls are very emotionally immature and don't get along with people their own age and older. I mean... what!? Everyone tells me I have a very old soul and I get along much more with people who are older than me. Sure, I know this is not the case for every Aspergirl, but it did really bug me that Simone paints a picture of Aspergirls as people who all prefer to hang out with those who are at least 10 years younger than them.

Another major problem for me, is how she lets the reader think that most Aspergirls have a major passion, are highly intelligent, and love technology. She doesn't literally say that EVERYONE is like this, but she jokes around about it a lot in a way that makes you think that really 90% of Aspergirls are like this.

I think all these generalisations aren't good for the Asperger's community, since you're fueling bias. It's a problem that's already rampant enough within and outside the ASD community. ASD is so extremely diverse and there are many people telling those with Asperger's that they "really can't have Asperger's" since they don't fit the stereotypes (something I experience more often than not). Simone does not touch upon the diversity within Asperger's well enough in this book. ...more
5

Jul 30, 2011

I can't praise this book enough! So far the best Aspie self-help book I've ever read. Well-organized, great information, superb combination of the author's own experiences blended with the voices of other women on the spectrum and tons of medical, psychological, health-related and other advice including very pracical and insightful parenting tips. The appendices in the back are great for having all the salient traits in one place and distinguishing between male and female Aspie characteristics. I can't praise this book enough! So far the best Aspie self-help book I've ever read. Well-organized, great information, superb combination of the author's own experiences blended with the voices of other women on the spectrum and tons of medical, psychological, health-related and other advice including very pracical and insightful parenting tips. The appendices in the back are great for having all the salient traits in one place and distinguishing between male and female Aspie characteristics. It also tuned me in to a great website I wasn't previously aware of. Thank you so much Rudy and all the other lovely ladies who contributed=:) ...more
2

Jan 17, 2018

I'll have to agree with several other readers of this book: the first half of the book is quite alright, but it's downhill after that. The perspectives offered in the book feel so distinctly American, in that they are exaggerated, extreme and divisive. NT girls are stupid and shallow because they care about boys and their looks, and yet Aspergirls are encouraged to care about their looks because life is so hard without a man. Oh, and Aspergirls shouldn't eat gluten.

Don't even get me started on I'll have to agree with several other readers of this book: the first half of the book is quite alright, but it's downhill after that. The perspectives offered in the book feel so distinctly American, in that they are exaggerated, extreme and divisive. NT girls are stupid and shallow because they care about boys and their looks, and yet Aspergirls are encouraged to care about their looks because life is so hard without a man. Oh, and Aspergirls shouldn't eat gluten.

Don't even get me started on her liberal use of the semicolon.
...more

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