30 Days to Taming Your Tongue: What You Say (and Don't Say) Will Improve Your Relationships Info

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Certified behavioral consultant Deborah Pegues knows how
easily a slip of the tongue can cause problems in personal and business
relationships. This is why she wrote the popular 30 Days to Taming
Your Tongue
(850,000 copies sold). Now in trade size, Pegues's
30-day devotional will help each reader not only tame their tongue but
make it productive rather than destructive.

With humor and a bit
of refreshing sass, Deborah devotes chapters to learning how to overcome
the

  • Retaliating Tongue
  • Know-It-All
    Tongue
  • Belittling Tongue
  • Hasty Tongue
  • Gossiping
    Tongue
  • 25 More!

Short stories, anecdotes,
soul-searching questions, and scripturally based personal affirmations
combine to make each applicable and life changing.

Rerelease in
trade edition


Average Ratings and Reviews
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4.46

987 Ratings

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Reviews for 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue: What You Say (and Don't Say) Will Improve Your Relationships:

4

Apr 22, 2016

I read this a while ago as part of a group study on the book of James (in the Bible.) I don't usually endorse the "method approach" to sanctification/dealing with sin nor do I believe that one of the most difficult sins to master can be achieved in 30 days! However, I felt that this book could be very useful if used in the right way. It lists the various sins we commit day in and day out through our speech and suggests ways to mortify them (with prayer.) If nothing else it helps us as Christians I read this a while ago as part of a group study on the book of James (in the Bible.) I don't usually endorse the "method approach" to sanctification/dealing with sin nor do I believe that one of the most difficult sins to master can be achieved in 30 days! However, I felt that this book could be very useful if used in the right way. It lists the various sins we commit day in and day out through our speech and suggests ways to mortify them (with prayer.) If nothing else it helps us as Christians to be aware of our speech and the necessity to ensure that we don't use words carelessly. Our group decided to make a conscious effort to monitor our own speech and motivations behind it for just one day initially. When we regrouped we were appalled at our own sinfulness in the space of just one day!

I recommend this book for Christians...not as a "self help" tool when building relationships which is how the description for the book reads, but as a practical tool for conviction of sin and training in righteousness.... ...more
5

Sep 13, 2015

I braced myself before reading this book. What kind of advice was I about to get, having already said so much throughout my life? However, I have found that this book rewards a prayerful read. I read it slowly but in less than 30 days. What's the best way I can describe this book? It's not so much a hard and fast "rule book," as a book you read with your heart. I prayed to have my heart in the right place as I read it. As a result, I find myself striving to be more careful about the things I I braced myself before reading this book. What kind of advice was I about to get, having already said so much throughout my life? However, I have found that this book rewards a prayerful read. I read it slowly but in less than 30 days. What's the best way I can describe this book? It's not so much a hard and fast "rule book," as a book you read with your heart. I prayed to have my heart in the right place as I read it. As a result, I find myself striving to be more careful about the things I speak and say to myself and others. This is not necessarily a bad thing. The anxiety to please God is like the anxiety we may have to please our friend with right actions and words. That's where this book is coming from. It exhorts us to please God more through our communication style to ourselves, Him, and others. This book does not intend to have a brainwashing effect on us, but this book encourages us to be better versions of our communicating selves. It was recommended to me off of Immaculee Ilibigiza's website. She is a survivor of the Rwandan genocide and a very inspirational, faith-filled woman. ...more
5

Sep 22, 2012

Just finished this and going back through it. Practical, short, convicting chapters on every aspect of communication with our mouths. Good lessons to learn for strengthening, building or rebuilding any relationships. Highly recommend it, especially for Christian's in leadership.
5

Jun 09, 2010

This was a quick read with a lot of meat to it. I read it in one day spent in the air flying across the country. It gave me a lot to think about. It is written in a quick and easy day by day format so I plan to reread it a bit every day and look up all the scriptures that go along with each daily chapter. Truly what we say and don't say can and will improve relationships.
5

June 4, 2014

GOD WANTS US TO CHANGE ITS IN LIFE TO BE BETTER AND MORE
3

Feb 27, 2020

Excellent reminders to everyone.
The author has a list of 30 ways (30 days), in which our wicked tongue needs to be held in check.
pg 40 What others call you is not important; it is only what you call yourself. Do you allow a label to define you? (this is day 8, the self-deprecating tongue)
pg 68-69 The harsh tongue, I was pleased the author talked about cultivating a habit of speaking kind words, especially to those whom we feel may not deserve it. And offers a word of caution that this doesn't Excellent reminders to everyone.
The author has a list of 30 ways (30 days), in which our wicked tongue needs to be held in check.
pg 40 What others call you is not important; it is only what you call yourself. Do you allow a label to define you? (this is day 8, the self-deprecating tongue)
pg 68-69 The harsh tongue, I was pleased the author talked about cultivating a habit of speaking kind words, especially to those whom we feel may not deserve it. And offers a word of caution that this doesn't mean we are to bury our heads in the sand and refuse to deal with problematic situations.
pg 86 Benjamin Franklin, said, "I will speak ill of no man, not even in the matter of truth, but rather excuse the faults I hear and, upon proper occasions, speak all the good I know of everybody." This is under the judgmental tongue.
pg 112 the discouraging tongue, saying something "well-phrased" such as "how did you determine the market for your product?" instead of "Gee, I don't think many people would be interested in that!"
At the back of the book are three appendices; a checklist for a daily tongue evaluation, a list of how to refrain from negative speaking, tongue/speech scripture

What I didn't like: the use of various Bible versions for scripture and the adulation of Joel Osteen.
It's worth the read and the reminder. ...more
5

Apr 24, 2012

lol... that tongue is a beast!!!! This book was given to me on my birthday 2009 by the parent of a friend of my daughter. She knew I was in radio and after a couple of conversations between us I made the statement..."I talk for a living but I'd love to be able to have that same control OFF the mic!" We don't talk anymore...haven't spoken in years...but her gift to me was the reason we bonded when we did. This one should be required reading for teenagers before they graduate... couples BEFORE lol... that tongue is a beast!!!! This book was given to me on my birthday 2009 by the parent of a friend of my daughter. She knew I was in radio and after a couple of conversations between us I made the statement..."I talk for a living but I'd love to be able to have that same control OFF the mic!" We don't talk anymore...haven't spoken in years...but her gift to me was the reason we bonded when we did. This one should be required reading for teenagers before they graduate... couples BEFORE they divorce... parents BEFORE they start a family... supervisors BEFORE they attempt to lead a crew! Sometimes it's not WHAT you say...but HOW you say it! ...more
3

Mar 25, 2015

I liked this book. It was a quick and easy read with a lot of good tips on how to tame your tongue -- which no one can do all on their own.
4

Aug 19, 2018

Convicting study of the ways we can misuse our tongue. I definitely recommend it.
4

Jul 22, 2009

Deborah Smith Pegues has prepared a short, biblically-based guidebook for controlling language and responses in personal and business settings. Shes presented the information in a manner suitable for any learning level in 30 quick chapters. Each chapter addresses a different sin or serious office-place screw-up a person can commit with the tonguelying, manipulating, slandering, being rude, being discouraging, being loquacious, etc. The book concludes with a Daily Tongue Evaluation checklist, a Deborah Smith Pegues has prepared a short, biblically-based guidebook for controlling language and responses in personal and business settings. She’s presented the information in a manner suitable for any learning level in 30 quick chapters. Each chapter addresses a different sin or serious office-place screw-up a person can commit with the tongue—lying, manipulating, slandering, being rude, being discouraging, being loquacious, etc. The book concludes with a “Daily Tongue Evaluation” checklist, a list of alternative uses for the tongue such as expressing gratitude or offering assistance, and a host of scriptures/Bible verses that inspire a person to success in “taming” the tongue.

The premise of this book is excellent. As a person who used prayer to overcome the use of angry language during some particularly trying years of my life, I know that the author has a valid concept. Someone without my experience or belief might be turned off by Smith Pegues’s confessions—I found them disconcerting at times and even stopped to check her credentials about a third of the way through the chapters. (Rest assured, she’s a certified behavioral consultant.) I have to admit to being surprised by her use of family members’ negative behaviors for illustrations, but she was cautious not to name people in the majority of her examples and that’s laudable.

Anyone looking for good, positive information/ideas on how to curb responses, reactions, language, and attitudes toward others will find something useful in this book, something to help learn how to employ new responses and attitudes in personal interactions and business settings.

From Fantasy Author Sandy Lender ...more
4

Mar 27, 2019

This book right here!!!! It was eye-opening!! It speaks to the power of the tongue and how we can negatively use our tongue in 30 different ways. Deborah walks us through the error of us using our tongues to destroy and damage. She also gives us proper ways to correct it. It is a quick-read because it is a devotional but you really have to read through it a few times to really take it in and apply it to your life. Great information and delivery! Definitely would recommend to the person who wants This book right here!!!! It was eye-opening!! It speaks to the power of the tongue and how we can negatively use our tongue in 30 different ways. Deborah walks us through the error of us using our tongues to destroy and damage. She also gives us proper ways to correct it. It is a quick-read because it is a devotional but you really have to read through it a few times to really take it in and apply it to your life. Great information and delivery! Definitely would recommend to the person who wants to take control over your tongue/mouth. ...more
4

Feb 01, 2012

A good, practical, and helpful book. It focuses on one type of "speech malfunction" for each day of the month, including things such as argumentativeness, meddling, retaliating, and loquaciousness (look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls!). A daily speech evaluation survey and list of memory verses are included at the end. Highly recommended.
Just as good the second read through.
4

Apr 11, 2015

30 Days to Taming Your Tongue is a good book to read. Did it take me 30 days to read this book? No. But I can definitely see myself rereading this sometime and actually taking 30 days to read it so I can ponder on each day's reading better. I loved how each day started with a Bible verse and ended with a short affirmation based of the day's reading. All in all, this is a pretty great book.
4

November 16, 2017

This book was just what I needed as journey back to being spirit-centered. I found myself over and over in this book. Thank you for pointing out the nature of each of these tongues. I will continue to re-read this book until I have tamed my tongue.
5

January 1, 2019

With out a doubt I strongly agree wth the author recommend this book for those slips of the tongue and for the foot inside the mouth. Jesus wants to think before we speak. This bk is included in my quick desk references for 2019.
2

Feb 27, 2018

"It was legendary American-cowboy-turned-entertainer Will Rogers who cautioned, Peoples
minds are changed through observation and not through argument. In other words, contentiousness negates ones ability to bring about change."

" While honesty is indeed the best policy, it is not a license to say whatever we want. One of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to deal with others with sensitivity and to speak inoffensively when we find ourselves in difficult or problematic "It was legendary American-cowboy-turned-entertainer Will Rogers who cautioned, “People’s
minds are changed through observation and not through argument.” In other words, contentiousness negates one’s ability to bring about change."

" While honesty is indeed the best policy, it is not a license to say whatever we want. One of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to deal with others with sensitivity and to speak inoffensively when we find ourselves in difficult or problematic situations."

"... when my husband and I are about to make a large purchase, such as a car, I chuckle within as the sales-person, usually a male, assumes I know nothing about finances. He proceeds to explain loan terms and other financial aspects of the deal. I go with the flow and watch his astonishment when he finds out that I am a certified public accountant with many years of experience" I'm not sure why this example was used. The salesperson was just doing their job. If this had occurred elsewhere (such as a meeting with a prospective client) it would of made a good argument against being a "know-it-all" tongue, but this was just in poor taste.

As a non-believer this book has some of it's truths, but when it gets tied into the judeo-christian bible, it quickly loses it's effect for me. For example, the quote "Know that all lies
originate with Satan. Period" has no meaning for me. On the topic of Satan, one truly amazing thing about this 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue is that it rarely blames Satan for the negative things you are doing. It does have it's moments doing that, but it few and far between. Sometimes, your problems are of your own doing, not Satan.

I think that this book would be good for those who need a spark-note like jump off point for a spur of the moment vesper, but not for reading all the way through, especially in one setting as you will quickly spot the redundancies and conflicting advice.

...more
4

Feb 01, 2020

Quotes:
Wise people dont make a show of their knowledge.

Engaging in deceitfulness is a slap in Gods face and has dire consequences. When we make a choice not to trust Him to handle a situation, we, in essence, decide He is a liar and will renege on His promise to meet every need. We then proceed to make our own way by any means necessaryeven being deceptive. In doing so we forfeit the good life God had planned for us.
Deborah Smith Pegues, 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue

My Thoughts:
The best way Quotes:
Wise people don’t make a show of their knowledge.

“Engaging in deceitfulness is a slap in God’s face and has dire consequences. When we make a choice not to trust Him to handle a situation, we, in essence, decide He is a liar and will renege on His promise to meet every need. We then proceed to make our own way by any means necessary—even being deceptive. In doing so we forfeit the good life God had planned for us.”
― Deborah Smith Pegues, 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue

My Thoughts:
The best way I can describe 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue is a 3D in book form. It will pop up at you with the truth. Again most of the books that I have chosen to read throughout this year are books that will help me become better, and once again, another book that really takes you to a place of self-analysis. It makes you question yourself, "Are the words I am about to say words that will uplift or idle words"?

This book falls under the devotional category. It is intended to be read daily for 30 days. However, I read it straight through, which is an option as well. It is an easy read and can be finished within a couple of hours. Each day represents a type of tongue that can produce negative and toxic verbal communication.

What I liked most: The author uses humor, anecdotes, and scripturally based affirmations. I also appreciate the tips she offers on how to overcome.. I appreciate
Appendix A Daily Tongue Eval Checklist
Appendix B Alternative Uses for the Tongue
Appendix C Arsenal of Tongue Scripture

What I liked least:

Rating 4 out 5
...more
5

Jun 19, 2018

The Power of Words
A careless word may kindle strife; A cruel word may wreck a life. A bitter word may hate instill; A brutal word may smite and kill. A gracious word may smooth the way; A joyous word may light the day. A timely word may lessen stress; A loving word may heal and bless.

This book can guide your mouth.easy steps and daily learning.
5

Dec 04, 2017

Not really finished. For me it is not a book/devotion that you read, rate and catalogue. I have been reading this book for over 3 months. It says 30 days, but I read a chapter every morning and sometimes I go back. This book not only helps you with your flaws, but it helps you to understand and be more compassionate toward others. I absolutely love this book.
4

Apr 13, 2019

Honestly, I expected this book to be super cheesy. But it actually ended up having some really valuable and really convicting stuff in it. Sure, it wasnt super deep or super theological, but honestly some really practical advice that is based off of scripture. I think its something everyone should have a look at. Honestly, I expected this book to be super cheesy. But it actually ended up having some really valuable and really convicting stuff in it. Sure, it wasn’t super deep or super theological, but honestly some really practical advice that is based off of scripture. I think it’s something everyone should have a look at. ...more
5

Oct 29, 2018

A reminder that words can hurt

I purchased this book after hearing the author talking about it one day on Focus on the Family. I found it very useful in revealing to me areas for improvement in how I relate to others through my speech. I am sure I will come back to it over time.
5

Mar 23, 2020

It reminds to be careful on the words that I am going to say. There's full of learning in every kind of tongue I encountered and really hits me. It made me laugh, reflect and think of the things that I've done and what I can do on the future to make it better.
5

Oct 31, 2019

Super convicting

I loved this book, challenging and eye opening to where your strengths and weaknesses are with regard to communicating. Each day a different focus. Short and easy to read on breaks or on the go
5

Dec 31, 2019

I thought Mrs. Pegues's descriptions of the various types of tongues was excellent! This is a must read for those that have a tongue. She was able to breakdown speech, include scripture, and provide tips on transforming your speech.
5

May 10, 2019

Fabulous book. Met all my expectations and then some. Very well written. Concise but "meaty". Short characters that get to the point. Filled with applicable anecdotes and scripture verses. Very inspirational. Will def be buying more of her books!

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